


Twlwight

by malevolentstorm



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Rewrite, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is also nicer now, F/F, Gay Edward Cullen, Humor, Lesbian Bella Swan, M/M, Mike is ADHD, Trans Jacob Black, all your faves are gay, also wlw/mlm hostility but, even the dads, everyone is gay now, oh god how am i supposed to tag this, they get over it lmao, this is starting to get away from me, which... isnt much of a tag apparently, wlw/mlm solidarity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2020-10-05 18:43:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20493488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentstorm/pseuds/malevolentstorm
Summary: Ok so this is just, straight up (gay up) a rewrite of twilight. Chapter for chapter. But everyone's gay. And nice to each other. And have healthy relationships. And Mike is ADHD. And the dads are useless. It WAS crack but now ive done more hours of research than I care to own up to so who actually knows lmao. God its so long.About three things I was absolutely positive;First, The Cullens are Definitely VampiresSecond, I am a Raging Lesbian with the Hots for Alice CullenAnd third, Edward is a Fucking Twink





	1. First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so. Yes the only other fic I've ever written is kingsman. Yes this is incredible off brand for me. Yes it is on fact, still 2019. Yes I regret it. In my defence I was initially joking and its the fault of at least 5 people that this exists because they encouraged me. And I should never be encouraged.
> 
> There's no prologue cus I have Not planned that far ahead and would indicate a certain level of forethought which i am Not Capable of

Phoenix Arizona is a land of warmth and sunshine, and it was here that I had thrived like a lizard under a heat lamp with my mother for the past 17 years of my life give or take a few months. I love Phoenix like Ellen Degeneres loves jump scaring people. I loved the heat and the never-ending sky. The little cactuses that I clutched in my hands as my mother drove me to the airport. She told me I was free to stay, free to come back, that she and her new husband _ Phil _ would be delighted to have me. I had my doubts. Ever since I had sauntered my double-denim, plaid-wearing ass out the closet, Phil had been acting strange around me. Sure he had never made any overtly homophobic comments but he definitely didn’t really consider me hot shit anymore. So I figured “fuck it”. They probably wanted time to themselves and there was muttering about moving around to suit Phil’s career choices. I didn't exactly want to spend my days traversing the width and breadth of the country catering to the needs of someone who told me my identity was probably part of a “passing fad”. 

I dressed somewhat appropriately for the occasion in my favourite shirt, blue like the sky and a light floaty material like the scattered and scarce clouds. However, this summer look was slightly ruined by the biggest parka I could find that was tied to my carry-on bag. I was going to live with my father. I used to pay him visits every summer after my mother fled his dreary little town but when I hit 14 I put my foot down. What can I say, I'm not fond of mizzle. He’d been good about it though; fully compromised and instead took two weeks every summer to come and visit me instead. Something which I grew to appreciate as I realised just how hard it would be for the Chief of Police to get a full two weeks off work mostly uninterrupted.

We reached the airport.

“Bella… you do know you don’t have to do this right? I know you hate Forks”, my mum said to me as we approached the gate. And no, she didn't mean the eating utensil. She was talking about my destination. The good old small town of Forks in the Olympic Peninsula of northwest washington state. Tiny little rainy Forks where my dad had lived for all of my life and probably a decent sized portion of his own

“Yeah, I know” I lied, “I want to go,” I lied harder. It wasn’t a very good lie for two reasons. The first being that I am absolutely terrible at lying. The second being that my hatred for small town life was well established.

“Bella. You Hate Forks”

“Only when its a meal I can feasibly eat with my hands”

“Ha ha Bella. Come here,” my mum shook her head at me as she pulled me into a hug, “don’t do anything I wouldn't do ok? And ring me if there’s trouble! And tell Charlie I said hi!”

“Ok ok ok, I will alright. Relax mum,” I smiled at her, praying that she wouldn't see how strained it was, “It’ll all be fine”.

She hugged me one more time and was gone. I braced myself and headed through the gates. Lucky for me Forks was only a million miles away. A four hour flight from sunny Phoenix to slightly less sunny Seattle, a second, shorter flight to Port Angeles and the Very Worrying hour in a car with Charlie. 

Charlie had seemed very pleased that I had decided to come and live with him, even going so far as to register me with the local high school as soon as he could. He was also muttering about getting me a car which... exciting, so at least I’ll be getting something aside from constant drizzly weather and a vitamin D deficiency from this whole experience. 

His excitement for me to live with him on a somewhat permanent basis did not, however, make him any more verbose. Or me for that matter. So the upcoming car journey was bound to be fairly awkward. Especially when you take into account that he was (a) confused by this life choice and (b) unaware that I was gay; something I was slightly wary about addressing. I’d already had a fairly negative reaction from an almost-sort-of-father figure in my life, I didn't need another one. I figured I’d use my first few weeks to scope out his opinions on things like “other people's lifestyle choices” before I said anything. I'm sure it would be fine. Probably.

I promised myself that I would go into this with an open mind and hope for the best. However as I stepped off the plane into a grey and wet Port Angeles my spirits were admittedly, slightly dampened (ha!). 

Charlie was waiting for me with his cruiser. One of the main reasons I was looking forward to having my own car was that, as much as I appreciated the work Charlie did as Police Chief Swan of Forks, I did not want to be transported everywhere in a police car. No thank you. 

I was greeted by a one armed hug that said a lot about how often the giver engaged in physical comfort (rarely). Sometimes I wonder if Charlie gets lonely in Forks. I added it to my list of things to look out for.

“It's good to see you again Bells,” he said, releasing me and then immediately steadying me again as I stumbled a little, “I see you haven’t changed a bit. Except perhaps in height! How’s Renée?”

“Thanks dad,” he hated being called Charlie by me, he insisted on being ‘dad’ even if I rarely saw him. My only problem was mum only ever called him Charlie and sometimes that kind of habit is hard to break. “Mom’s good yeah, it’s nice to see you.”

Luckily I hadn’t brought much luggage so it wasn’t hard to slam it all into the trunk of the cruiser. Most of my desert weather clothing wasn’t exactly suitable for my new home, to the point where mum and I actually had to pool our resources and do a quick shop for some thicker clothes before I left. 

“I’ve found you a car by the way - real cheap but I think it’ll suit you,” Charlie announced as we strapped ourselves in. I was immediately suspicious. ‘Suit me’ how?

“What sort of car is it?”

“Well ok, technically it’s more of a truck. It’s a Chevy.”

Ok yeah that would fit into the new lesbain aesthetic I was going to try and cultivate - colder weather means more layers so I figured it was time to fully capitalise on my identity and dress the part.

“Where did you find it?”

“Do you remember my old friend Billy Black? From down at La Push?”

La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast.

“...no.” It had, after all, been quite a few years since I set foot anywhere near Forks.

“He used to go fishing with us during the summer?” Charlie’s further prompting did help me realise why I didn't remember him. I didn’t pay attention to the fishing on the fishing trips - there were far too many other things to pay attention too.

“He’s in a wheelchair now,” Charlie continued on. I had to admire how he steamrolled through my silence. “It makes driving sort of impossible for him so when I asked about it he offered to sell me his truck cheap”

“What year is it?” I asked, watching his expression shift into a frown. Clearly he had been hoping I wouldn’t ask.

“...2008”

“Dad.”

“Fine, fine. Well, if you count all the work Billy did on the engine, it's really only a few years old.”

Whilst I enjoyed his question dodging tactics, I really hoped he didn’t think I’d give up that easy. If I inherited anything from both of my parents it was their stubborness. Standing our ground is something all three of us are perhaps too good at. 

“When did Billy buy it dad?”

“Uh, he bought it in 1984 I think…”

“Was it new when he bought it”

“No, I think it was probably new in the early 60’s… late 50s maybe,” he slowly, got more sheepish as he spoke.

“Ch- Dad, you do know I don’t know anything about cars,” something I really needed to work on if I wanted to upgrade my lesbian club membership to gold, “If anything went wrong I wouldn’t be able to fix it and I definitely wouldn’t be able to afford a mechanic-”

“Bella it will be fine, honestly the thing runs great. They don't build cars like it anymore, don’t worry about it.”

“...how cheap is cheap?” After all, I didn’t really have a lot of money and that was the one thing I really couldn’t compromise on. Economy economy economy and all that.

“...I sort of, well honey I kind of already bought it for you. Think of it as a homecoming gift…” Charlie peeked across at me like a hopeful puppy dog. 

Huh… free. That was… unexpected… wow. Uhm.

“You really didn’t need to do that, I was going to buy myself a car-”

“I don’t mind Bells. I just- I want you to be happy here,” he stared dead ahead at the road. He wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions. It was something I’d inherited from him, and I appreciated the effort he was making. I stared straight ahead in solidarity as I responded in kind.

“That’s really nice dad. Thank you. I really appreciate it.” Having a free truck would definitely improve my Forks experience, even if I remained uncertain I would achieve True Happiness™, at least Charlie was trying his best to help.

“Well, now, you’re welcome,” he mumbled, continuing to stare straight ahead with a light flush on his cheeks. My thanks had embarrassed him. Never let it be said that Charlie Swan can take positive and genuine feedback. He Cannot.

Aside from a few more remarks about the weather (wet) and our relative health (fine), that was pretty much it for conversation. I couldn’t find anything to say and he was all talked out from the brief heart-to-heart. We stared out the windows in silence. 

It was beautiful. Even I couldn’t deny that. On that brief car journey I saw more green than I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Everything was green - the trees, the trunks of the trees, the moss, the branches weighed down with rain, the ferns, the grass, everything. It seemed that even the air itself was green as it filtered down through the leaves. An overabundance of green. To a desert-dweller like myself it seemed like an alien planet.

Eventually we reached the house. The same house that Charlie and my mother had bought in the early days of their marriage. A small-two bedroom house that was just right for newly-wedded spouses looking to start a family. Unfortunate that whilst the house was just right it had turned out their marriage wasn’t. I briefly felt a pang of sympathy for the man who got up everyday in an empty house that he had once dreamt would hold his family. 

I was distracted from this emotion by the faded red truck parked in the never-changing driveway. I stared at it. Perfect. Big round fenders and a bulbous cab, a solid iron affair that could stand up for itself if it ever got in a fight with another car. It was the sort of car that you would see unscratched in the middle of an accident - untouched amongst the debris of its opponents. I loved it immediately. This vehicle would definitely give me clout amongst my fellow lesbians. I took a brief moment to wonder what the LGBT scene here was like before I dismissed the thought with a shake of my head. I could worry about that later after I’d met my fellow classmates. Everyone knows that gays are pack beings, all I had to do was find the local gathering. Given everything I knew from past experience I wouldn’t even have to try that hard, we’d just gravitate together. 

“Thanks Dad! I love it!” This also meant my first day at school tomorrow would be a lot less painful. Much cooler to rock up in a truck than my dads police car, or walk two miles in the rain and look like a drowned rat - my only choice prior to The Truck Reveal. 

“...I’m glad you like it” was the gruff response from my emotionally stunted father. Maybe that was something we should work on together. 

Unsurprisingly, it only took one trip to get my stuff upstairs to my room. It was the west bedroom that looked out over the front yard that had belonged to me since I was born. The only thing that really changed over the years was the crib being upgraded to a bed, and the addition of a desk with a computer so I could do my work. Charlie had also installed a landline so I could easily talk to mum. Everything else - the wooden floors, the blue walls, the yellow lace curtains, even the rocking chair from my baby days - remained untouched by the passage of time.

There was one bathroom that I would have to share with Charlie. That should be fine though. I’m trying not to sweat too much over the small stuff and the things I cannot change. 

One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn’t hover unnecessarily. He left me to unpack and settle in without cluttering up my room; something my mother would never have achieved. The breathing space was nice, I could take a few moments to just sit and consider the consequences of all my life choices that had led me to this moment. No need to smile or pretend. I stared out the window at the now sleeting rain and thought of home. Home with my mother, not the house where I now live. A few tears slowly tracked down my face before I brushed them away. If I was really going to have a proper cry then I would do it later, for now it was time to finish unpacking.

As I shifted clothes from point A to point B, I pondered what it would be like to be the new girl. Forks High School, much like the town itself, has a very small population of only 357 (now 358) students who had all grown up together; whose grandparents had probably grown up together. And I would be the outsider, the big city freak, a curiosity… being gay probably wouldn’t help either. 

Maybe if I could manage to meet people’s expectations as the chief's daughter from Phoenix it would be ok but I already knew that I wouldn't be what people were expecting. I am not tan, sporty or blonde - to be honest I’d probably fit in with the good people of Forks more than I fit in in Arizona. I was certainly pale enough to look as though I’d never even heard of the sun - I didn’t even have the excuse of blue eyes or ginger hair to justify my permanent state of paleness. As for sporty… whilst I was slender enough I was obviously no athlete, I wasn’t even cheerleader quality let alone a volleyball player; in fact, given my extraordinary lack of hand-eye-coordination, in any sport I attempted I was a danger to both myself and others. 

One of my worries was that, much as I never physically fit in, I have never managed to relate well to people my own age. Well, if we’re being honest I’ve never been able to relate to people full stop, not even my own mother, but I guess that’s what comes of constantly hiding a large part of yourself. As I’d come to grips with who I am over recent years, and especially after I came out it seemed to get easier. I found myself being able to connect to people more. Before it felt as though I was forcing myself to look through other people’s glasses and the prescription was off so nothing made sense, I often found myself wondering if I was seeing the same things as everyone else or if I was just faulty. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain - I didn’t care about what caused it, just how it affected me. Yet… since I started to work things out the world has gotten clearer. 

I worry that being thrown into a new and possibly hostile school environment will result in a new pair of unfitting and badly-prescribed glasses being shoved back onto my face.

Needless to say my thoughts spiralled into self-doubt and social-anxiety and I didn’t sleep very well. It wasn’t helped by the foreign sound of the constant wind and rain whooshing around outside my window. I managed to drift off well past midnight and suffered for it when I awoke.

Whilst the overnight torrential rain had finally stopped, the world now appeared to be surrounded in a thick layer of fog. I missed the sky. I felt shut in. Claustrophobic.

Breakfast was a quiet affair but to be honest I expected nothing less. Charlie wished me luck at school and I sent a quick prayer to the gods that luck may actually find me this time. My clumsiness and persistent bad luck had led to my downfall many times in the past. He left the house before me, rushing off to the police station that he had devoted his life to. I took a few moments to fully take in his small kitchen in the bright light of day.

Nothing had changed. The cabinets on the walls were still the bright yellow that my mother had painted them 18years ago in an attempt to bring sunshine into the darkly paneled room. The table was the same old square oak table. None of the chairs matched. From where I sat I could see into the possibly even smaller family room. A row of pictures hung over the fireplace. There was a photo of Charlie and Mum’s wedding day, one of the three of us in the hospital when I was born, and an entire series of my school photos. Embarrassing. If I was ever going to have friends over (if I ever had friends), then I’d have to ask him to move them elsewhere. 

Still… it was nice to know I held a large place in his life. He clearly loved me - and to some extent my mom - very much. I didn’t know how to feel about the fact that I held such a large part of his heart whilst he held so very little of mine. Hopefully time would allow that to change.

I didn’t want to be early to school but I also didn’t want my thoughts to spiral as I knew it would just upset me, so I grabbed my overly large jacket (appropriate lesbian apparel in my mind) and headed out into the rain. Ok so it was more of a drizzle than rain but as someone for Arizona, land of heat, sun and clear skies, I didn’t really feel the need to differentiate. At least it wasn’t enough to immediately drench me as I reached for the hidden house key under the eaves and locked the house up behind me. My brand spanking new waterproof boots, unnecessary for the desert but not for Forks, made disconcerning sloshing noises as I walked. Have I mentioned that I hate wet weather. I climbed straight into the truck without pausing to admire it - I’d rather be out of the misty wet that was trying to frizz my hair than idle around looking at my new truck, kickass as it is.

It was nice and dry inside the truck, instantly reasurring me that it didn’t leak. Either Billy or Charlie had very clearly cleaned it up - yet despite the spick and span interior, amongst the tan upholstered seats there remained a lingering smell of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint. Thankfully the engine started quickly, roaring loudly to life and then continuing to idle at top volume. Unexpectedly, even the antique radio worked! Fantastic.

Despite the fact that the school completely failed to look like a school - instead appearing as a collection of maroon coloured houses - I found it fairly easily; mostly due to the large sign reading ‘Forks High School’. It didn’t feel like an institution at all to me - there were far too many trees and not enough chain-link fences or metal detectors.

I parked in front of the first building which, judging by the small sign over the door, was the front office. The complete absence of any other vehicles did make me think that parking here was off limits, but at least this way I could get directions instead of trying to work it out on my own like a fool. Taking a deep breath to fortify myself, I stepped out of my toasty warm truck and headed on down the little stone path to the office. It was much warmer inside than I had expected, and brightly lit to boot. Inside the small room there was an even smaller waiting area with padded folding chairs and the kind of carpet that looks like it could be a bus seat. I wonder if schools and buses get their materials from the same places. The walls were cluttered with notices and awards, along with a big clock that ticked intrusively loudly in case you weren’t sure how much time you were wasting. It seemed that even indoors I couldn’t escape the pervasive lusciousness of Forks; plants were growing everywhere in large plastic pots. The room itself was divided by a long counter, it’s top as cluttered with baskets full of papers as the front was plastered with colourful flyers. Behind this counter there were three desks and one person. The bespectacled red-head was bedecked in a purple t-shirt which made my double denim plaid-clad look seem slightly like overkill. Then again if I wanted to attract the local gays I had to put out signals.

She looked up at me

“Can I help you?”

“I’m Isabella Swan…” my introduction alone was enough. I saw her eyes light up in awareness. Fantastic. I was a topic of gossip already, my mere presence alone noteworthy. The Chief's daughter finally returned home after his ex-wife took her and fled.

“Of course, of course,” she said, as she dug through a precarious pile of paper on her desk, “I have your schedule right here, along with a map of the school.” She brought several sheets to the counter to show me.

She went through my classes and highlighted the best route to each on the map for me. She also gave me a slip which I was to bring back at the end of the day after I got each teacher to sign it. She smiled at me and hoped, much as Ch- my dad had, that I would like it here in Forks. I smiled back and said I hoped so too. After all, I really did hope I would grow to like it here.

By the time I got back to my truck, other students had started to arrive - which meant there was a handy line of traffic for me to follow. Thankfully many of the cars were just like mine - old and only flashy when the headlights flickered. Back in Phoenix I’d lived in one of the few lower-income neighbourhoods included in the Paradise Valley District, meaning it was pretty common to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the school lot; whereas the nicest car here was a shiny Volvo which stood out. Still, I cut the engine as soon as I pulled into a space so the thunderous noise of my engine wouldn’t draw attention.

I took out the map and immediately tried to memorize it, hoping to God I wouldn’t have to walk around with my nose stuck in it all day. I stuffed it into my bag, slung the strap over my shoulder and took a deep breath. I took the opportunity to lie to myself once more. I could do this. No one was going to bite me. I breathed out and stepped out of the truck.

I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I joined the throng of teenagers on the sidewalk, noticing with relief that my outfit didn’t make me stick out. Once I got past the cafeteria, it was easy to spot building three - it had a large black “3” painted on a square in the corner. As I approached the door I felt my steady breathing slip closer to unsteady hyperventilating. I tried holding my breath as I followed others through the door.

The classroom itself was small. I copied the people in front of me as they stopped inside the door to hang their coats up on a long row of hooks. They were two girls, one a porcelain-coloured blonde, the other also pale, with light brown hair. My hunch that my skin would be more at home here than in Arizona seemed to be proving itself correct.

I took the slip up to the teacher, Mr Mason judging by his nameplate. Upon reading my name he gawked at me which was not incredibly encouraging, to say the least, and caused me to flush a bright red. In an act of small mercies he sent me to an empty desk at the back of the class without introducing me, or making me introduce myself, to the rest of the class. This seating also had the benefit of making it much harder for my new classmates to stare at me; something they somehow managed anyway. I kept my head down, staring at the reading list the teacher had given me. It was… basic. Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner; all of which I had already read. This was both reassuring (at least I would do well) and dull. I had hoped I would at least learn something from all this. I wondered if mom would send me all my old essays or if she would consider it cheating. I enacted different arguments with her in my head whilst the teacher droned on.

When the nasal buzzing sound of the bell rang out a gangly boy with jet black hair leaned across the aisle to talk to me. 

“You’re Isabella Swan, aren’t you?” he asked, radiating helpful chess club vibes

“Bella,” I regretted speaking aloud when everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

“Where’s your next class?” he asked me

I had to check in my bag. 

“Um, Government, with Jefferson. Building six.” I couldn’t look anywhere without meeting the curious eyes of a Forks Student.

“My next class is in building four - I could show the way if you want. I’m Eric by the way,” he looked at me hopefully. 

I smiled tentatively at him.

“Thanks.”

  
  


We got our jackets and headed out into the rain which, surprise surprise, had picked up. I felt a bit like a zoo exhibit, like people were straining their ears to hear my every word - curious about the out of town curiosity.

“So, this is a lot different from Phoenix huh?” Eric asked.

“Very.”

“It doesn’t really rain much there, does it?”

“No not at all, maybe three or four times a year”

“Holy hell. I can’t even imagine what that would be like!”

“Sunny” I deadpanned

“You don’t look particularly tanned though.”

And there it was. The inevitable observation. Luckily for me I had a whole stockpile of stupid retorts to this very common accusation.

“My mother is part albino.”

He stared at me. I stared straight back. There was a brief battle of wills as he tried to work out how serious I was before my mouth twitched and he cracked into a smile. Damn.

We walked back around the cafeteria towards the south buildings by the gym. Eric walked me right to the door, even though it was very clearly marked.

“Well good luck,” he said as I grabbed the door handle. “Maybe we’ll have some other classes together.” He sounded hopeful. I smiled vaguely at him and went inside.

The rest of the morning passed in much the same way. My trigonometry teacher, Mr Varner, who I would have disliked anyway because he taught maths and I’m Gay, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. It didn’t go well and I predictably tripped over my own feet on the way back to my seat.

After the first two classes, I began to recognize several of the faces in each class. There was always someone braver than the others who would talk to me, introducing themselves and asking me questions about how I was liking Forks. I tried to be nice and diplomatic but in all honesty - I hadn’t even been here two full days at this point and I refused to form a solid opinion until it had been at least a week. On the bright side I never once needed to look at the map.

One girl had sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. 

She was tiny - several inches shorter than my 5”4’, but her wildly curly dark hair made up a lot of the difference between our heights. I was fairly certain her name was Jessica but I didn’t want to get it wrong so I mainly smiled and nodded as she gossiped about the teachers and classes. 

We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends who she introduced me to. I nodded back to each of them in turn and joked loudly that I was terrible at names; it was true and I’d found it was much easier to be up front about the fact that I had no idea who anyone was than lying about it. Her friends all seemed impressed at her bravery in speaking to me. The boy from English, Eric, waved at me from across the room. It was there, sitting in the lunchroom, trying to make conversation with seven curious strangers, that I first saw them. 

They were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where I sat as possible and removed from everyone else.

There were five of them. Sat in silent solidarity, untouched food trays in front of them. Unlike most of the other students, they weren’t even gawking at me. Unwittingly giving me the freedom to stare at them without fearing the return gaze of an excessively interested pair of eyes. Yet it was none of these things that caught, and subsequently held, my attention.

They didn’t look anything alike. Of the three boys, one was big - muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark curly hair. Another was taller, leaner but still muscular and honey blond. The last was lanky, less bulky, with untidy bronze-coloured hair. He was more boyish than the others. In fact, the first word that sprung to mind upon viewing him was ‘twink’. Were these the local gays? Could these be my people? Even if the rest of them were straight, he radiated gay energy in a way that’s entirely undefinable unless you’re part of the queer community.

The girls were opposites. The tall one was statuesque. She was beautiful both in face and body; she looked like a model. The kind of girl that you could never decide if you wanted to be her or be with her. Her hair was golden and gently waved down to the middle of her back. If I hadn’t already had a gay crisis she would have sent me into a spiral, and if it wasn’t for the presence of the second girl I’d be in danger of developing a serious and unrequited crush. The second girl looked like she’d walked out of my dreams. She was pixielike and ethereal. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and sticking in every direction. Her energy was incredible and undefinable. I immediately never wanted to talk to her and wanted to hang out with her every day. Whoever said lesbains were useless was right. I have never in my life felt more useless. My mouth was almost definitely open.

Amongst my big gay meltdown, I somehow still managed to pull enough brain cells together to figure out what was bothering me. Despite all of these differences, they were all somehow exactly alike. Everyone of them was chalky pale. The palest of all the students who lived in this sunless hellhole. Paler even than me - and that was a high bar. They all had very dark eyes despite the range in their hair tones. They also had dark shadows under those eyes as if they hadn’t slept for a month or were recovering from a broken nose. I sat entranced. All of them, all their faces, so different and so similar, were devastatingly and inhumanly beautiful. They were the sort of faces that only existed in airbrushed magazines or art galleries. Objectively it would be incredibly difficult to say who was the most beautiful. All of them shone. Unfortunately for me, my dumb lesbian brain had already picked one to latch onto.

They were all looking away - and not just from other students but from each other as well - away from everything as far as I could tell. As I watched the Light Of My Lesbian Life rose with her tray (unopened soda, unbitten apple), and floated away from the table with the graceful sort of lope that would have fit right in on a fashion runway. I stared, amazed at her lithe dancer’s step. I followed her journey all the way to where she dumped her tray and then back to the back door, as she glided away from me faster than I would have thought possible. I glanced back at the others who remained sat, unchanging.

“Who are they?” I asked the girl from my Spanish class, whose name was probably Jessica. As she looked up to see who I meant, probably well aware from my awestruck tone, the twink looked up at me. We made direct eye contact across the room. He looked away very quickly, quicker than I could have, but that didn't stop his dark eyes being burnt into my retinas. Within that brief flash of a glance, his face held nothing of interest - almost as if it was an involuntary response to hearing his name get called with no intention of answering.

Jessica, I’m fairly certain her name was Jessica, giggled in embarrassment and joined me in examining the uninteresting tabletop. 

“That’s Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left earlier was Alice Cullen,” she paused to nudge me with her elbow, I hadn’t put much thought into being subtle but I suppose if I had I wouldn’t have been as subtle as I thought, “they all live together with Doctor Cullen and his wife.” She continued on, speaking under her breath as if she would be overheard.

I glanced sideways at Twink McBedHead, who at this point had resorted to playing with his food - picking at a bagel with long pale fingers. His mouth was moving very quickly and, whilst the other three continued to look away, I felt he was talking to them. I missed Alice. 

They all seemed to have very strange and unpopular names, the sort of names your grandparents would have. Maybe that was a thing here though - small town names and all that… then again Jessica and Eric were very normal names so it was probably just them.

“They’re… very nice-looking” I said, aiming for conspicuous understatement and definitely not getting away with it.

“Yep!” Jessica agreed with another giggle, “they never date anyone though, they’re all really close knit with each other. There were even some rumours they were dating each other for a while but they’ve sort of died down. And they all live together too!” Her voice held all the excitement of sharing old gossip with new people, and in her defense, it was pretty good gossip. The kind that would even be considered noteworthy in Phoenix.

“Which ones are the Cullens?” I asked, “They don’t look related…”

“Oh, they’re not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They’re all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins - the blondes that is - and they’re foster children.”

“They look a little old for foster children.”

“They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they’ve been with Mrs Cullen since they were eight. She’s their aunt or something like that.”

“That’s really kind of nice - for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they’re so young and everything.”

“I guess so,” Jessica admitted reluctantly, and I got the impression that, for some unknowable reason, she didn’t like the doctor and his wife. Going by the glances she was throwing at their adopted children, I would assume the reason was jealousy. 

Throughout this entire conversation, my eyes flickered again and again to the table where the strange family sat. They continued to stare at the walls and not eat.

“Have they always lived in Forks?” I asked. If I’d had my gay spiral crisis earlier it would’ve made things much easier and I had no doubts that no matter the age I was, seeing the Cullens would have definitely triggered something.

“No,” she said in a voice that implied it should be obvious, even to someone like me who’d only been here for a day or so. “They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska.”

I felt a simultaneous surge of both pity and relief. On one hand I felt bad that they were outsiders and clearly not accepted, but on the other hand, the fact that I wasn’t the only newcomer and was definitely not the most interesting one at any rate was definitely a relief.

As I examined them, the youngest twinkiest Cullen looked up and met my gaze, this time with an evident curiosity. I looked swiftly away, noting that his glance seemed to hold some sort of unmet expectations. 

“Which one is the tw- the one with the reddish brown hair?” I asked. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. He was definitely still staring at me, he wasn’t gawking like the other students today had but he did have a slightly frustrated expression which was a bit odd. I looked down again.

“That’s Edward. He’s gorgeous, if you’re into that of course, but I wouldn’t waste your time if I were you. First off he doesn’t date and secondly…” she trailed off here before looking at me significantly. I looked back at her and she nudged me gently again. My gay-dar twitched. We took a moment to assess each other before I nodded back at her. She grinned at me “You too huh, I’m the big ol’ B. What about you?”

“Oh you know, L stands for more than Loser with me. You really think he’s…” I trailed off meaningfully. I was ecstatic to have found a like minded friend so quickly. I knew gays flocked together. This was going to make school life so much easier. She nodded back at me. There was a lot of nodding going on. 

Biting my lip to hide my grin, I turned and glanced back at their table again. Twink-le toes was turned away from where we were sat but it appeared to me he was smiling too. After a few more minutes the four of them left the table together. They were all noticeably graceful in an unsettling sort of way; even the big, brawny one. None of them looked at me on the way out.

I sat with Jessica and her friends longer than I would have stayed sat had I been alone; I was anxious not to be late for class on my first day. One of my new acquaintances, who thankfully reminded me her name was Angela, also had Biology II next, so we walked to class together. She was also fairly shy around people so we walked there in silence.

When we entered the classroom, she went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to. She already had a lab partner. In fact, every single one of the tables were filled bar one. The one remaining seat, right next to the centre aisle, was right by Mr CopperBottom himself: Edward Cullen. 

I did my best to watch him surreptitiously as I walked down the aisle to get my slip signed and introduce myself to the teacher. As I passed him, he tilted his head like there was water in his ears and stared at me with the most curious expression on his face. He stared at me like I was an unsolvable puzzle; but the kind that frustrates you because it should be simple. It was not a particularly nice or friendly expression. I looked away quickly, stumbling over a book in the walkway and catching myself on the edge of a table. The girl who was sat there giggled, I figured ‘to hell with this’ and winked at her. I thought back to his eyes and their disturbingly dark colour. They were black. Coal Black.

Mr Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense introductory bullshit. I could tell we were going to get along. Unfortunately, he had no choice but to send me back to the one open seat in the middle of the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by him, bewildered by the glare he’d shot me earlier.

I didn’t look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I did see his posture change in the corner of my eye. He twisted in his seat, his minute body language straining towards me in a way I really couldn’t define. He was staring dead ahead but his head was cocked to the side like he was listening intently in my direction. His face was furrowed into a frown. The lecture wasn’t nearly interesting enough to warrant that much concentration - despite having studied cellular anatomy before, I diligently took notes, using my hair as a screen to hide my face from him. He could be an arse all he wanted, that didn’t mean I had to watch him do it. Maybe he wasnt gay and was intrigued by my Lesbian Wiles. If that were the case, I’d have to let him down gently and try and find an opening to ask about his sister. 

I couldn’t stop myself peeking occasionally at him through the hair I had so carefully curtained round my face. I couldn’t work out why he seemed so disturbed by my presence. Was he scared of lesbians? During the whole class, he never once relaxed his bizarrely contorted body. Somehow managing to strain both towards and away from me all at once. A feat I would have been impressed by had I not been so busy being offended and confused. He never relaxed. I was surprised to notice actual muscle underneath the light skin of his forearm. Muscle I could only see because of how he’d rolled the long sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows (possibly further proof he wasn’t as straight as all that) and how he was gripping the edge of his chair. I briefly considered attempting to make conversation.

The class seemed to drag on longer than the others. I couldn’t work out if it was because I was so close to being able to go home (or at least, back to Charlie’s house) or if it was because of the strained and awkward atmosphere. What was going on with this dude? He would occasionally twitch, like he’d been distracted by a sudden sound, but he mostly sat rock still in that same awkward position. If he turned out to be homophobic I’d flip my shit. He radiated gay-boy vibes like no one else, yet he held himself like an awkward straight man who was torn between hitting on me and just straight up hittting me. I continued to be confused.

I peeked back at him one more time. I regretted it. He was staring straight at me, brow furrowed in concentration, his black eyes full of confusion, befuddlement, and almost a hint of disgust. I flinched back from him, shrinking into my chair. Seriously, what was his problem.

At that moment, the bell rang loudly, shocking me like a defibrillator, and Sir Twink-a-lot jettisoned fluidly out of his seat, revealing himself to be taller than I thought. He was out the door before anyone else was out of their seat.

I sat there, frozen, staring somewhat blankly after him. He wasn’t very nice, it didn’t feel great to be treated like that on my first fucking day in school. What a weirdo. I began to slowly gather my things, slowly getting more furious with the way he had acted. It wasn’t fair. I felt my eyes prickle and hurriedly shutdown my emotions. Why God had felt the need to curse me with tear ducts that were hardwired into my temper was beyond me. It was humiliating.

“Aren’t you Isabella swan?” a male voice asked me, thankfully interrupting my rapid spiral of self-pity.

I looked up to see an adorable baby-faced boy. His pale blonde hair was carefully gelled into orderly spikes and he was smiling at me in a very friendly way. Clearly not everyone was thrown into some sort of bizarre feedback loop upon meeting me.

“Bella,” I corrected, for what felt like the 60th time that day. I smiled at him. “Hi.”

“Hi, I’m Mike”

“Hi Mike” I smiled just a bit wider, this kind of stupid was a relief after the past hour of tense 

bullshit.

“Do you need any help finding your next class?”

“I’m headed to the gym actually - I reckon I can probably find it.”

“Oh hey! That’s my next class too.” He seemed thrilled. Though to be honest, in a school this small it wasn’t much of a coincidence.

We walked to class together. Thankfully he was a chatterbox so he supplied most of the conversation and I didn’t have to engage my brain. He’d lived in California until he was ten, so he knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out he was also in my English class and he was possibly one of the nicest people I’d met today. It helped that he registered on my vibe-o-meter as a fellow math-hater.

As we were entering the gym, he asked me, “So, did you stab Eddie with a pencil or what? I’ve never seen him act like that.”

I cringed. So it was abnormal behaviour and I wasn’t the only one who had noticed. I decided to play dumb.

“Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?” I asked artlessly.

“Yeah,” he said. “He looked like he was having a crisis. He stared at you like he’d never seen a human being before”

“I don’t know,” I responded. “I never even spoke to him. I hope he doesn't Like Me for his sake… although to be honest, I can’t say I think I’m his… type.”

“He’s a weird dude. He is hot though you gotta give him that - and you’re definitely not his type, no offense,” he winked at me, lingering outside the dressing rooms with me instead of heading in, “if I were lucky enough to sit by you I’m sure we’d have discovered that we have a lot in common.” 

I smiled at him before walking into the girl’s locker room door. It was my first day and I’d already found 2 confirmed gays. Nice. Alas, Mike’s friendly charm and the prospect of fellow queers wasn’t enough to ease my irritation. The Gym teacher, Coach Clapp, found me a uniform but didn’t make me dress down for today’s class. Back in Arizona, only two years of P.E were required. Unfortunately for both my health and everyone else's, here P.E was mandatory for all four years of high school. Thanks, I hate it.

I sat on the sidelines and watched as four volleyball games ran simultaneously. I flashed back to how many injuries I had managed to both gain and inflict during this game in the past and felt vaguely nauseated. 

The final bell finally rang, I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. Thankfully the rain had actually managed to drift away, however the wind made up for it by being stronger and colder. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked into the warm office. 

I walked towards the desk, thinking back over the day and wondering if Edward would ever change his tune. It wasn’t that important but if we were going to be lab partners it would be nice to have a conversation. Also I have a great need to be liked at all times and he was really not helping with that. I handed over the signed slip.

“How did your first day go, dear?” the receptionist asked.

“Oh it was pretty alright.” I said, somewhat surprised to discover how true that was. She smiled at me.

When I got to the truck, it was almost the last car left in the lot and it's warm interior seemed like a haven. I sat there for a while, staring blankly into the distance, before turning the key. The engine roared to life, louder than I remembered, and I headed home to Charlie’s.


	2. Open Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is this so long I'm so full of self-loathing it's so much skdnsmn  
Anyway... Chapter two here we go they finally have a conversation it's only taking foREVER

The next day was better. It wasn’t raining (though the clouds _ were _dense and opaque) and the school day was bound to be easier because I knew what to expect from my day. Mike came and sat with me in English and walked me to my next class - we also hung out with Eric but the seating arrangement didn’t enable us to all sit together. People didn’t look at me quite as much as they had yesterday. I sat with a big group at lunch that included both Mike and Eric, along with Jessica and several other people whose names and faces I now remembered. I felt like I was finally beginning to find my people, slowly gathering my brethren of gays, like I was part of a community. I felt like I was starting to tread water instead of straight up drowning.

However, in some ways it was worse. I was tired; I still couldn’t sleep with the noise of the wind echoing round the house. It was worse because Mr. Varner called on me in Trig when I very deliberately hadn’t raised my hand because I didn’t know the answer and he then had the audacity to be shocked when I was wrong. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball. And I am Bad at volleyball. No, not bad, atrocious. The only time I managed to not cringe away from the ball as it came towards me I managed to smack my teammate in the head with it. And it was worse because Alice Cullen, goddess of all she surveys and my heart, wasn’t in school. 

All morning I looked forward to getting a glimpse of the never-to-be wife of my dreams, yearning for a chance to glance upon her person across the crowded room. Part of me wanted to see if there was an opportunity to strike up a conversation; to the point where I had lay awake in my bed imagining different conversations we could have. But I knew I would never have the guts to approach her, and even if I did, I'm sure I would be rendered speechless in her presence.

But when I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica and casually let my eyes fall upon their table, she wasn’t there; and bizarrely neither was Edward. Instead their three sort-of-siblings were sitting together at the same table, not-picking at their food, without them.

Mike intercepted us and steered us towards his table, where we all settled in pretty quick. As I tried to listen to their easy chatter, I mourned the loss of my love and pondered on the absence of the twink. I hoped Alice would surprise me and turn up but she never did (and neither did Edward but that’s neither here nor there).

By the end of lunch, neither of them had shown and I headed to biology confident in the knowledge that at least today’s lesson would be free from awkward tense silence. Mike and I headed down the corridor together, betting on whether we thought Cullen would show his face, we both won when he didn’t. I headed to my seat as Mike began to chatter about an upcoming trip to the beach that Jessica had been muttering about. It would be fun to get the pack together on an outing, I’d never been invited anywhere with a group of gays before and it was bound to be a good time. He lingered by my desk debating hypotheticals and what ifs of beach related disasters until the bell rang, at which point he grimaced awkwardly and sloped towards his desk and his lab-partner; a girl with braces, a bad perm and an unfortunate crush. I grimaced back at him. God knows I had experienced enough troubles with The Straights to sympathise. It seemed odd to me, that in a town this small, where everyone lived on top of everyone else, that somehow it was only the gays who were Aware of each other and the LGBT community. Then again, that did tend to be the way. Ah, the heteronormativity of it all. 

I was relieved that I had the desk to myself. That Edwin was absent. I did wonder what it was that kept him from school but ultimately it didn’t concern me. I just hoped that by the next time I saw him he would have got his shit together. I could do without someone staring at me incessantly for the next few years. He’d better be gay for his own sake because if he wasn’t that would make it infinitely worse; and if he was crushing on me God knows Mike would never let me hear the end of it. Neither would Jessica for that matter.

Alas my good mood was ruined by the appalling game of volleyball that had followed but once the school day was finally done I fled to the parking lot, walking swiftly through the crowds of students. I climbed into my truck and dug through my bag to ensure I had what I needed.

Last night I had discovered that it was a miracle Charlie had ever survived to the ripe old age of 36 on his own - the man couldn’t cook much more than your basic eggs and bacon. So I asked if I could be in charge of the kitchen for the duration of my stay. Surprisingly, he not only agreed to my supreme reign of the banquet hall, but he also requested that he be allowed to help. Maybe I could teach him some things so I wouldn’t have to worry about his cholesterol once I’d left him behind. I had also discovered that he had No Food in his house. Well he had two boxes of cereal, a bag of what probably used to be potatoes and three tins of soup but… that definitely didn’t count. The point was I had put together a shopping list and grabbed money from the jar in the cupboard that was labelled ‘FOOD MONEY’. Thriftway here I come.

I cranked up my music as soon as I started the truck to try and counteract the engine but ultimately failed as heads turned in my direction as I backed carefully into the exit traffic. I hoped they enjoyed the Ramones. As I waited in line, jamming to the quite frankly awesome music I was playing, I saw the only present Cullen and the Hale twins get into their car. It was the shiny new Volvo I’d noticed on my first day. Of course, I hadn’t paid much attention to their clothes before - being too distracted watching my heart run away from me and being generally distracted by their perfect faces. Now that I looked though, it became immediately clear that these gays (if they were gay; I briefly sent a prayer to a God I didn’t believe in that at least Alice was) knew how to dress themselves. Their outfits were not only exceptional but hinted at being designer without being ostentatious. That was just unfair. With their good looks and flair they could carry off dishrags and yet they had money too?! It seemed excessive for them to get wealth as well as looks, some people really have it all. Still, their obvious wealth and style didn’t seem to have bought them any acceptance here.

Surely not. I didn’t really fully believe that they were ostracised so completely from the rest of the student body against their own will despite everything they had going for them. They must desire the Isolation. This is America and everyone knows that beauty can get you anywhere, especially beauty to that degree when accompanied by money.

I saw them look at my noisy truck as I passed them, just like everyone else had. I kept my eyes straight forward, something I was getting a lot of practice doing, and breathed a sigh of relief when I was finally free of the school grounds.

Thankfully the Thriftway wasn’t very far from the school; just a few streets south. It was strangely nice to be inside the supermarket. Reassuring. Normal. I had done the shopping at home in Phoenix as well, and fell into the familiar task like falling into the arms of an old friend. The store was big enough that I couldn’t even hear the tapping of the rain on the roof - taking me further into the liminal space and out of the linear passage of time, making it possible for me to forget where I was.

When I got back to the house, I unloaded all of the groceries by just shoving them in wherever I found space. I was sure Charlie wouldn’t mind… he HAD given me full open reign after all. I knew he wanted to help but I was hungry so I figured it would be wiser to start dinner sooner rather than later. Something simple should serve us fine. I wrapped some potatoes in foil and stuck them into the oven to bake before covering a steak in marinade and balancing it on top of an egg carton in the fridge.

When I was finished with that, I took my bag upstairs, changed into some comfy sweats, put my hair up and considered starting doing my homework. I did not do that. Instead I checked my email for the first time since I had arrived. I had three messages. All from my mother.

_ “Bella,” _ my mom wrote _ “write me as soon as you get in. I hope your flight went ok, how was it? Tell me how your flight went!! Is it raining there I bet it is, I miss you already. I’m almost finished packing for Florida but I can’t find my pink blouse anywhere - do you know where I put it? Phil says hi. Mom.” _

I sighed and immediately clicked through to the next message. According to the timestamp it was sent eight hours after the first one.

_ “Bella,” _ she wrote, _ “Why haven’t you emailed me back yet? What are you waiting for? Are you OK?? Please email me when you read this! Mom.” _

The last email was from this morning.

_ “Isabella, If I haven’t heard from you by 5:30pm today I will ring Charlie, I’m worried about you!” _

I checked the clock.Technically I still had an hour but mom wasn’t always all that great at sticking to time-limits… especially if she’d set them herself.

_ “Mom, calm down. I’m fine I promise I just hadn’t checked my emails. Give me a few minutes and I’ll write you a full response! Bella” _

I typed and sent that as quickly as I could before beginning a second, more composed email.

_ “Mom, Everything is surprisingly great! The flight was fine and of course it’s raining, it seems to do little else here. School isn’t bad, just a tad repetitive - you wouldn’t send me any of my old schoolwork by any chance? I’ve made some friends here too, I sit with some really nice kids at lunch and we were thinking of maybe going to the beach. Your blouse is at the dry cleaners… you were supposed to pick it up on Friday. Also! Charlie bought me a truck! Can you believe it?! I love it. It’s old but really sturdy which is especially good for me. I miss you too and I’ll write again soon! Relax, breathe. I love you. Bella. P.S I probably won’t be checking my emails every hour so don’t panic if I don’t respond.” _

I closed my laptop and went to sit on my bed. I had decided to read Wuthering Heights again just for the fun of it, sure we were currently studying it in English but I knew it well enough by now that the reread was genuinely for fun. When Charlie got home I’d completely lost track of the time I’d spent stuck into the book. At least this way he’d be able to help a little in the kitchen. I hurried down the stairs to snatch the potatoes out the oven and grab the steak from the fridge.

“Bella?” my father called out as he heard me trample my way down the stairs.

“Hey Dad! Welcome home, I’m just about to grab the potatoes out the oven and put the steak in, then I was thinking you could help me with the salad?”

“Thanks! And sounds good, yes, I was slightly worried what I’d let myself in for when I said you could have free reign. I remember your mother's cooking well.” As he spoke I could hear him hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of his boots. As far as I was aware, he’d never actually fired his gun on the job but he always kept it ready. Back when I stayed here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in through the door. Clearly I was old enough now that he no longer worried I would accidentally shoot myself.

As I bustled around the kitchen, setting it up for salad making and ensuring the rest of dinner was sorted, I thought over his words and found myself pleasantly surprised that he remembered what mom’s cooking was like. Imaginative was a kind way to describe it but experimental was probably more accurate - and the results of those experiments weren’t always edible…

“How can I help?” he asked appearing in the doorway. I gestured at him to come and stand next to me by the counter where I had laid out all the salad ingredients. 

“Well I’ve sorted out the potatoes and steak so, though they’re simple, you don't have to worry about that right now. We’re just going to focus on making a very simple side salad”

As I showed him what to do, how to prepare the vegetables, mix them up, prepare a vinaigrette and all that jazz, I found myself relaxing into it. This was surprisingly comfortable. I had expected him to just leave and watch TV whilst I did the work, but this was nice too. Maybe even nicer. When the salad was done I checked the steak and potatoes to find they were nearly ready and Ch- ...Dad set the table up with our salad as a centrepiece. He sniffed appreciatively as I brought the rest of the food over.

“Wow, this smells good Bells”

“Thanks Dad.”

We ate in silence for a few minutes but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. Neither of us were bothered by the quiet, warm as this one was. In some ways, it was becoming clear that we were well suited for living together.

“So, how do you like school? Have you made any friends?” he asked, as he reached for seconds - of salad as well as potato I was pleased to note. 

“I’ve made a few friends actually yeah, I have a few classes with a girl named Jessica and I sit with her friends at lunch. And there’s this boy called Mike who I’m friends with too. Everyone seems pretty nice.” I replied, glossing over the incident with Eccentric Cowherder. 

“Oh that must be Mike Newton! Yeah he’s a nice kid- nice family. His dad owns the sporting foods store just outside town. All the backpackers who come through here go through him, makes a good living off of them.” 

“Do you know the Cullen family?” I asked, seeing an opportunity and knowing the answer. Of course he knew the Cullen family. He was the Chief of Police here in Forks, it was his job to know everybody.

“Dr Cullen’s family?” he seemed surprised, and weirdly sort of flushed as well, “Sure, Dr. Cullen is a great man.”

“Well… they- the kids… are a little different? They don’t seem to fit in very well at school”

Charlie surprised me by looking angry at this statement.

“People in this town,” he muttered. “Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon who could probably work in any hospital in the world, make ten times the salary he gets here,” he continued, steadily increasing in volume. “We’re lucky to have him - lucky that Esme wanted to live in a small town.” I was briefly thrown by the familiar address he used to talk about Dr. Cullens family but he carried on without a pause for me to question it, “He’s an asset to the community, and all of those kids are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, when they first moved in with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But they’re all very mature and I haven’t had one speck of trouble from any of them. That’s more than I can say for the children of some folks who have lived in this town for generations. And they stick together too, the way a family should - camping trips every other weekend… Just because they’re newcomers people have to talk. It's Not Fair.”

I feel it’s important to note here that this is the longest speech I have ever heard Charlie make in my entire life. He clearly felt very strongly about whatever it was people were saying about the Cullen family. Although, I was starting to wonder if it would be easier to come out to him than I thought; he certainly seemed somewhat enchanted by the Doctor.

I backpedaled. “They seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed that they seemed to keep to themselves a lot.” I thought about Alice. “They’re all very attractive…”

“You should see Carlisle, the doctor,” Charlie said laughing with a look in his eyes I had never seen before, curiouser and curiouser. “It’s a good thing he’s so devoted to his family - a lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating when he’s around.”

I smiled to myself, I bet it wasn’t just the nurses who were distracted by the apparently very sexy doctor. Still, I wasn’t going to say anything until I was more certain. No point putting my foot into it or alienating my only father this early on in my visit. We lapsed back into silence as we finished eating. When we were done he began to clear the table while I started washing up. He soon grabbed a towel and took over the drying and putting away. Another nice surprise. There was no dishwasher so we would have to wash anything we used by hand and I could feel a tradition in the making as we stood side by side, quietly enjoying each others company.

After the dishes were done I bid Charlie goodnight before heading upstairs to attempt my maths homework and he moved into the living room to watch T.V. As soon as I’d managed to finish my homework I collapsed into bed. The night was finally quiet and I fell asleep quickly, exhausted.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I got used to the routine of my classes and by Friday I was able to recognize almost all of the students at school - although admittedly I couldn’t name them all yet. Thankfully by this point, kids on my team in Gym had worked out by now not to pass me the ball and to step quickly in front of me if it looked like the other team were going to take advantage of me. I was more than happy to stay out of their way.

Neither Alice nor Edward showed their faces back at school. I wasn’t too bothered about the absence of the glaring twinkie but I missed Alice. I was beginning to wonder if I’d dreamt up how attractive and gorgeous she was. Every day, I would wait until the rest of the Cullens entered the cafeteria without them and then I would slump into my seat and try to focus on the lunchtime conversation. Since it was usually a discussion about the upcoming trip around La Push Ocean Park in two weeks that Mike was putting together, it was pretty easy to follow. Exciting too - I had been invited and was looking forward to it more than I thought I would; something that was definitely down to the company and not the weather.

By Friday, I was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong. I feared that one fleeting glance was all I was ever going to get of my lady love. Which was infuririating and also very homophobic of the universe. Edward was also doing an incredible impression of The Missing Twink.

My first weekend in Forks passed without incident. I know Charlie had been hoping to spend some quality time with me but unfortunately he ended up spending a lot of time at the station. I avoided my work by cleaning the house, emailing my mom, and driving to the very-poorly-stocked library. Then I gave up and caught up on all my homework. I also considered making plans to go and find a good bookstore in Olympia or Seattle soon.

The weather treated me well, with the rain staying soft over the weekend and soothing me to deep and restful sleep.

People greeted me in the parking lot Monday morning, and whilst I didn’t know all their names, I waved back and smiled at everyone. It was colder this evening but luckily it wasn’t raining. Mike took his usual seat by my side in English and we had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights; it was straightforward, easy shit.

I found myself settling into routine much quicker than I thought I would. I was fitting in, and more surprisingly, I was comfortable. Much more comfortable than I had ever expected to feel here.

When we walked out of class, the air was full of swirling bits of white. I could hear people shouting in excitement, there was a sense of awe and childish glee in the air. The wind bit at my cheeks and my nose as I tilted my head towards the sky.

“Wow,” Mike said. “It’s snowing!”

I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up along the sidewalk and swirling erratically past my face. 

“Huh…” Snow. I’d never properly seen snow fall before. It was sort of pretty though not at all how I’d imagined it. Mike seemed surprised by my lack of reaction.

“Don’t you like snow?”

“I… I don’t really know to be honest. It’s all a bit new. Cold tho.” I smiled across at him, slowly reaching a hand out to catch some.

“Have you never seen snow before?”

“In the heat of Arizona?” I shook my head ruefully, “no of course not. It’s not quite how I pictured it - I thought it would come down in flakes like on TV. You know, with each individual flake… This looks a bit like the end of a Q-tip.”

Mike laughed. And then a big, white ball of snow smacked violently into the back of his head, shattering upon impact and showering us both in a fine dust of ice. We both turned around to see where it had come from. I had suspicions about Eric, who was currently walking away from both where we stood, and the location of his next class. Mike clearly had the same thought - local gays sharing a brain cell. He bent down and began to scrape together a pile of white mush. I slowly backed away.

“I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” I kept walking as I spoke. “I’m not sure my desert-dwelling body can withstand a full snow fight in this thin a coat.”

He nodded at me, keeping his eyes fixed on Eric’s retreating figure.

Throughout the morning, everyone chattered excitedly about the snow; it was the first snowfall of the year and apparently everyone retained their youthful exuberant reaction to snowfall. I had to admit it was lovely, and admittedly drier than the endless rain - at least, it was until it melted into your socks.

I walked to the cafeteria with Jessica after Spanish on high alert. There were snowballs flying everywhere and I kept a binder in my hands, ready to bat any oncoming snow out of the way. Though with my coordination I was bound to hit someone with the binder if I actually swung it like a bat, so its primary use was that of a shield. Jessica thought it was pretty hilarious but admitted that she didn't particularly want snow dripping down the back of her neck for the rest of the day either. That and the feral gleam in my eye that promised swift and just retaliation prevented her from throwing a snowball at me herself.

Mike caught up with us as we walked through the doors, laughing with ice melting into the carefully maintained spikes in his hair. He and Jessica were talking animatedly about the snow fight as we got in line to buy food: I allowed my mind to drift. Out of sheer habit I felt my eyes wander over to that one table in the corner and immediately felt all the muscles in my body tense as I entered fight or flight mode. Which I tend to register as flight or flight. I froze completely. There were five people at the table. Jessica pulled on my arm.

“Earth to Bella, hello? Time to choose food c’mon.”

I looked down with my ears burning. She was here. She was still gorgeous. I was definitely still gay. God. Christ. I couldn’t breathe let alone think. I was so flustered. I reminded myself to take some deep breaths.

“Oh No, Whatever Could Be Wrong With Bella?” I heard Mike ask Jessica sarcastically. If I wasn’t having such a hard time standing up I would have objected loudly to his tone. 

“Im Fine.” I said, finally gathering enough brain power to snap at him, he just grinned at me. Asshole. “I’ll just grab soda today.” I caught up to the end of the line.

“Thirsty Bella?” Jessica asked slyly with a smile on her face. 

“Shut Up Jess, I’m just… not particularly hungry today,” I said determinedly not looking at the table in the corner, keeping my eyes fixed on the floor.

I waited for them to grab their food and then followed them to a table, careful to keep my eyes on my feet and not… anything else. I slowly sipped at my soda, ignoring their knowing glances as I desperately searched for something to distract myself with. Wait, five people. There were five people at the table, which would mean… I braced myself to glance at the table as quickly as I could. I would not get sucked back into staring at Alice, I wouldn’t do it. I drew a sharp breath and chanced a look. If Ed Edd and Eddie was here maybe I could shift my focus to worrying about that instead. God knows I’d settled into biology pretty well without his awkward inability to talk to me. Hadn’t missed that at all.

As I glanced upwards at them through my lashes, I noted that none of them were looking my way. I breathed a little easier and lifted my head to get a better look. I was going to scope out the presence of Edward Allen Woe and immediately turn away again but, predictably, I immediately got caught up in their interactions.

They were all laughing together. The twinkler, Jasper and Emmett the Frat Bro all had their hair entirely saturated with melting snow. The two goddesses they sat with were leaning away as Jock-Man shook his dripping hair toward them. Like everyone else they seemed to be enjoying the snowy day, but they managed to do it whilst looking like a scene straight out of a movie which was just unfair. 

But, aside from the laughter and playfulness, there was something else. Something different from the last time I stared at them for an unspecified amount of time. Something I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I refused to get sucked back into a gay spiral so instead of gazing loveingly at the owner of my heart, I decided to study the Ice Twink; that would defnitely be more objective. His skin was… less pale, I decided, but that could just be a flush from the snowball fight. The circles under his eyes were lighter - much less noticeable. And there was something else. Something I couldn’t put my finger on. I continued staring, trying to isolate what it was. 

“Bella, stop staring, we get it, she’s an angel from Heaven above. Stop drooling and drink your soda.” Jessica’s voice snuck into my brain, distracting me from my thoughts as her eyes followed mine to the table of models in the corner. 

At that precise moment, Tall Twink and Brooding looked straight at me - his eyes flashing over to meet mine. 

I dropped my head, instantly allowing my hair to curtain across it. Yet it seemed to me, in that instant our eyes met, he seemed much less angry and confused about my existence than the last time we interacted. He no longer looked harsh and unfriendly as if I was the sole bane of his existence. Those emotions seemed to have softened into light curiosity - curiosity that remained unsatisfied. 

“...Edward Cullen is staring at you,” Jess deadpanned into my ear, as if I was unaware and hadn’t been sort of asking for it. 

“Good for Edward Cullen,” I responded, “How angry does he look that I exist?”

“Uh, not at all. Why? What did you do?” She sounded somewhat confused at my question which was fair - we didn’t have biology together and neither Mike nor I had really spread it around that the local bottom had decided that I was the greatest mystery in the universe.

“Exist? I don’t know! He just doesn’t… seem to like me much. Either that or he likes me Too Much but… Seems off brand,” I lay dramatically across the table. I’m a lesbian it’s my God given right to be dramatic at all times, “I must be liked Jess! I must!”

“The Cullens don’t like anybody… actually that’s a bit harsh. They don’t really notice anybody enough to like or not like them. They’re outsiders Bella, you know this.” She attempted to comfort me with logic. I didn’t appreciate it. “He’s still staring at you by the way”

“Stop looking at him!” I hissed at her, “It only encourages him!”

She snickered but did as I asked, turning to Mike as he began to pitch a snow battle. I slowly raised myself off the table and listened with half an ear. I was swiftly invited to join in with _ The Battle of the Blizzard _ in the parking lot after school. I stared at him. 

“Mike. I’m a desert dweller. I will literally die.”

He just grinned at me in response, continuing to talk tactics with Jessica who was plotting to take out large amounts of the school population. I decided I would hide in the gym until the parking lot cleared. Jess was many things and ruthless was definitely one of them.

I was hesitant to walk to class with Mike after lunch ended, as he seemed to be a very popular target for the snowball snipers, but when we reached the door everyone groaned in unison. It was raining. Which was not only less fun but also washed away all traces of the snow in clear, icy ribbons down the side of the walkway. I pulled my head up. In some ways I was pleased - at least this way I could go straight home without having to hide from the snow war. 

Mike, however, was less than pleased, and managed to keep up a string of complaints all the way to building four. 

Once inside the classroom, I headed to my table, noting with some relief that it was still empty. Mr Banner was walking around the room distributing one microscope and a box of slides to each table. Class didn’t start for a few minutes and the room buzzed with conversation. I sat happily in silence, bracing myself for the inevitable awkward silence my lab partner would bring to the table. I kept my eyes away from the door and doodled idly on the cover of myn notebook.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved, but I kept my eyes fixed carefully on the pattern I was drawing.

“Hello,” a quiet, musical voice interrupted my careful study. 

I looked up, stunned. He speaks! I was shocked into silence by this development. However his sudden ability to actually talk to people didn’t seem to enable him to sit normally, as he remained perched as far away from me as the desk would allow (if he was gay I would give him a bit more leeway here but still). He sat like I was an anomaly that would somehow break him if he got too close. His chair was angled towards me though. The never ending conflict within his approach was fascinating. He was constantly contradicting himself. His hair was dripping wet and disheveled but that didn’t stop him from looking like he’d just finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His stupidly attractive face was friendly and open, with a slight smile, but his eyes remained careful; so did I.

“My name is Edward Cullen,” he continued. “I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Charlie’s daughter, Bella right?”

My mind glitched slightly over his familiarity with my dad and continued to spin when it compared his behaviour from today to the last time we sat together. Had I made it up? He was being so polite now, what could possibly have prompted the change and his mistreatment of me last week? 

I couldn’t think of a single sensible thing to say to him. Nothing.

“H- how do you know my dad?” I stammered out. Seemed a more sensible question than how he knew my name. Everyone here knew my fucking name.

He laughed a soft, enchanting laugh. Bastard. As a Gay WLW Lesbian, I reserve the right to be annoyed with any man who dares to be attractive in any way. I had a feeling the entire Cullen family would irritate me greatly.

“Oh he’s good friends with my dad Dr Carlisle? I think they worked together on some cases. He’s been round for tea a few times. He’s a good man.”

I was amazed. My dad? The shut-in? Socialising with people? Maybe he wasn’t as lonely as I’d feared… and it would explain his familiarity with them when he mentioned them over supper last week.

“Huh… well that would explain how you got the Bella part right I guess…”

“Sorry, have people not been getting your name right?”

“Oh no everyone knows my name, they just all seem to call me Isabella first which I guess makes sense as that’s how it’s on the register and forms but… I much prefer Bella. I’d half suspected Ch- Dad of going round calling me Isabella but… clearly not” I smiled to myself at the thought. It was more reassuring than I had thought it would be. I hadn’t realised I was worried about it until I wasn’t anymore. A habit that had caused me trouble in the past. 

He smiled back at me in an aimless sort of way and we fell quiet as class began. I listened halfheartedly as he explained the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box were jumbled up and, working together, we were supposed to separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represented and then label them accordingly without looking at our books. We had twenty minutes before he would be coming around the classroom to see who had it right.

“All right class, off you go,” he said.

“Ladies first, partner?” Edward asked grinning across at me slyly. If I were straight, and not already in love with his sister, I would probably be in trouble. As it was, I responded without thinking.

“After you then!” ...whoops.

Twink-182 looked somewhat taken aback by my rejoinder but I just smiled at him as guilelessly as I could. If I had dug my grave I wasn’t going to dig it lying down. He stared at me, before chuckling slightly to himself. I shrugged at him and grabbed the first slide

“Fine fine, I’ll go first,” I had a slightly unfair advantage over Edward having already done this lab. I knew exactly what I was doing so it should be easy. I snapped the first slide into place, adjusted the microscope, and studied it briefly. “Prophase.” 

“Do you mind if I look?” he asked as I began to remove the slide. Asshole. His hand caught mine to stop me fully removing the slide. His fingers were cold. Ice-cold. Freezing I-just-stuck-my-hands-in-a-snowdrift-for-20-minutes cold. I jerked away. Yeesh. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, pulling his hand back immediately. He rubbed it briefly on his trouser as if to warm it up before he continued to reach for the microscope. I wondered if he had circulation issues. I watched him as he examined the slide for an even shorter period of time than I had.

“Prophase.” He agreed, writing it neatly into the first space on our worksheet. He swiftly switched out the first slide for the second and then glanced at it. “Anaphase,” he muttered, writing it down as he spoke. Well, two can play at that game Mister.

“May I?” I asked, keeping my voice indifferent. He smirked and pushed the microscope to me. I looked through the eyepiece eagerly, praying that he would be wrong. I was disappointed. Dang it, he was right. God what a smug ass.

“Slide three?” I held out my hand without looking at him. He handed it to me. It seemed as though he was being overly cautious as to prevent direct skin contact from happening a second time. Weird. I took the most fleeting look I could manage. “Interphase.” 

I passed him the microscope before he could ask for it. He took a swift peek, and then wrote it down. I would have written it while he looked but his handwriting was both legible and good. I didn’t want to mess it up with my clumsy illiterate scrawl. In my defense: I am gay.

We were finished before anyone else was close. I could see Mike and his partner comparing two slides again and again, and another group had their book open under the table. Which left me with nothing to do but unsuccessfully ignore my lab partner. I looked at him, curious about his attitude change. He was staring at me, that familiar look of inexplicable frustration in his eyes. Suddenly, I realised what was different.

“Did you get contacts?” I blurted out, not stopping to think. Thinking is for Losers and Straight people anyway. I’ve never met a gay who can actually think for more than 5 minutes of divine inspiration.

He seemed puzzled by the question. “...no?”

“Huh…” I mumbled, “I could have sworn there was something different about your eyes.” He shrugged and looked away. Something about his manner screamed of guilt. What on Earth…

I was right. I knew I was. I was sure there was something different. Maybe if he hadn't stared at me in befuddled disgust for so long last week I wouldn’t have remembered the flat black of his eyes quite as vividly, but as it was, that stare was branded into my skull. Today though, his eyes seemed to be a completely different colour. They were a strange ochre, darker than butterscotch but with that same golden tone. They weren't nearly as striking against his pale face and auburn hair. I didn’t understand how his eyes could have changed so drastically. Unless he was lying about the contacts of course, but why would he have any reason to do that. Maybe I was finally going mad - driven crazy by the lack of sunlight, seeing its golden beams in the eyes of my could-be-nemesis.

I looked down. His hands were clenched into hard fists again. What was with this dude, man? And why couldn’t I say anything to him without him seeming to take offense at it? Maybe, I thought to myself, he’s just really sensitive. He had no reason to be self-conscious of course but unfortunately that’s not how brains work.

Mr Banner came to our table then, to see why we weren’t working. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab, and then stared more intently to check our answers. 

“So, Edward, didn’t you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?” Mr Banner asked. I immediately bristled, ready to fight. My gremlin brain was screaming misogyny and homophobia, my sensible brain was pointing out Edwardio Twink probably had a bit of a reputation and that Mr Banner didn’t even know I was gay so it couldn’t be homophobia. Before I could stutter out my offense, Edward swooped in to defend me. 

“Bella,” he corrected. “Actually, she identified three out of the five slides.”

Mr Banner looked at me now, his expression was skeptical. You would think he hadn’t been teaching me for a week without having a lab partner. 

“Have you done this lab before?” he asked me.

I grinned up at him cheekily, “Not with onion root”

“...whitefish blastula?”

“Yeah.”

Mr Banner nodded. “Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?”

“Yes sir”

“Well,” he said after a moment, “I guess it’s good you two are lab partners.” He mumbled something else as he walked away. I began to doodle on my notebook again as he left.

“It’s too bad about the snow isn’t it?” Edward asked, not sounding forced at all. Honestly he was making small talk with me seem like pulling teeth. I felt a wave of paranoia sweep over me. It was almost as if he had heard my conversation with Jessica at lunch and he was doing his best to prove me wrong.

“Not really,” I answered honestly, instead of sympathising or pretending to be upset about the lack of ammunition to pelt people with. I was trying to shake off the stupid feeling of suspicion and it was making it hard to concentrate. 

“You don’t like the cold.” It wasn’t a question.

“I’m not used to it. Or the wet.”

“Forks must be a difficult place for you to live,” he mused.

“It has its charms. It’s not as awful as I expected it to be… but yeah, it can be hard” I replied, in a rare moment of honesty. When I stopped to think about it, it never failed to surprise me how much I was enjoying myself in Forks. 

He looked fascinated by what I said, for some unknown reason I didn’t care to suss out. His face continued to be stupid. My thoughts slowly drifted to his sister. I wondered if she had noticed me in the cafeteria at any point. Maybe I could join dad for tea at the Cullens’ house. Heck if I managed to achieve the impossible and actually befriend McTwink then maybe I’d have an in.

“Why did you come here then?” Think of the devil and he shall interrupt your lesbian dreams. No one had asked me that. I’d been here a week and no one had asked that straight out like him.

“It’s… complicated”

“I think I can keep up,” he pressed. 

I paused for a long moment before meeting his eyes. A mistake. The reminder of his confusing eye change turned my brain off and I answered without thinking.

“My mother got remarried,” I said

“That doesn’t sound so complex,” he disagreed, suddenly sounding a lot more sympathetic. “When did that happen?”

“Last September,” I said, surprising even myself with how audibly sad I sounded. 

“And you don’t like him,” Edward guessed, his tone still kind.

“That, my lab-dude, is where it gets complicated,” I looked over at him and his Big Twink Aura before deciding to just go all in. He looked thrown enough by the address of ‘lab-dude’ but I didn’t think we were ready for the friendship label yet. “Phil is fine enough I guess, a bit young maybe but…” I sighed. Eddie stared at me as if my dull life story was somehow vitally important and one of life's great mysteries. “I came out over the summer and he kept making all these snide remarks. And I mean, he plays ball for a living so they travel a lot so I figured…” I smiled at him. It was half hearted but it still counted.

“Ass. Didn’t your mom do anything?”

“No, she didn’t really notice to be honest. Bit scatterbrained my mother. So, here I am”

“So… your mom sent you here so that she could travel with her low-key homophobic husband then…” He said, hesitantly, not actually asking it as a question but assuming he was right.

I stuck my shin out at him. “No. No she didn’t. I sent myself.”

I watched as he grew more confused. His eyebrows knit together. “I do not understand,” he admitted, seeming unnecessarily frustrated by that. Boy, you'd think he was born with all the secrets of the universe in his head and was immediately cross when he came across something he didn’t know.

I sighed again. Why was I explaining this to him? He continued to stare at me, evident curiosity bruning in his gaze.

“She stayed with me at first, but.. She clearly missed him and was unhappy. So she made plans to travel with him and was perfectly happy to take me with her so we could stay together but… I didn’t really want to roam the country with my newly passive-aggressive step-father. I would have just been in the way anyhow so… I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie.” My voice was glum by the time I’d finished. I didn’t like to think about how Phil had treated me - microaggressions were still agressions after all; and I especially didn’t like to think about how oblivious my mother had been.

“But now you’re unhappy.” He pointed out.

I shrugged at him. “I’m less unhappy than I thought I’d be. And I’m sure it’ll get better with time.” I challenged him

“It just.. It doesn’t seem fair somehow.” He shrugged back at me, his eyes continuing to burn with that strange intensity. 

I laughed. The kind of laugh that you have to do when someone says something stupid and naive that clashes completely with the world as you know it. A laugh of disbelief. There was no humour in it. 

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you, Eddie McEderson? Life isn’t fair”

“Now you mention it. I believe I have heard that somewhere before,” he agreed dryly. He didn’t object to the nickname. Were we… becoming friends?

“So that’s all,” I insisted, wondering why the intensity hadn’t left his eyes yet as he continued to stare at me.

His gaze became somewhat appraising. “You put on a good show,” he said slowly. “But I’d be willing to bet that you’re suffering more than you let anyone see.”

I grimaced at him and caved to the impulse to stick my tongue out at him before looking away. He chuckled.

“Am I wrong”

“Probably” I said, as if I didn’t know what he was talking about. When in doubt: play dumb.

“I didn’t think so.” He murmured smugly. I wanted to hit him.

“Why does it matter to you?” I asked, irritated beyond belief. I continued to look away from him - watching Mr Banner continue to make his rounds of the classroom.

“That’s… a very good question,” he muttered quietly. So much so that I wondered if maybe he was talking to himself. Yet as the silence continued to stretch, I accepted that that was probably the only answer I was going to get. I sighed. I’d sighed a lot this lesson. Wow Eddie Mercury here was really going to fuck up my breathing. Gets points for being the only boy to take my breath away I guess, even if it was only through sheer exasperation.

“Am I annoying you?” he asked, sounding more amused than he had any right to after pestering me for my tragic backstory for the past 20 minutes.

“Yes.” I glanced at him and rolled my eyes. “Not exactly. I’m annoyed with both of us. You for asking so many things and myself for answering them and being so easy to read. My mother always called me her open book.” I frowned. Way to continue oversharing Bella. 

“On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read.” Despite everything that I’d said and he’s guessed, he sounded like he meant it.

“You must be a good reader then,” I replied.

“Usually.” He smiled widely at me, flashing a set of perfect ultrawhite teeth. Ugh. There was also a glint in his eyes that suggested there was a layer to this response I was unaware of - but before I could ask Mr Banner called the class to order.

I turned to the front to listen. I was in disbelief that I’d just outed myself and my entire dreary life story to this asshole twink who may or may not despise me. He had seemed engrossed in our conversation, treating my story like it was water to a parched desert traveller, but now, out of the corner of my eye, I could see that weird brand of strain re-enter his body. Every Muscle tensed as he listened to something that wasn’t there. His hands gripped back at the edge of the table.

I tried to appear attentive as Mr Banner illustrated, with transparencies on the overhead projector, what I had seen without difficulty through the microscope. But my thoughts swirled around my head like a miniature storm - unmanageable.

When the bell finally rang, Edwin the Mighty fled the room as if his ass was on fire. Just as swift and graceful as he had left the week before. And just like last monday, I found myself staring after him, wondering what it was I did wrong. Not that I was the problem here. If there was a problem it was clearly him

Mike skipped quickly over to my side and helped me pack up. He was constantly claiming I was too slow. I accused him of having ADHD. It was a good friendship. 

“That was awful,” he groaned. “They all looked exactly the same! And god sitting still is the worst! You’re lucky you had Cullen for a lab partner, he may be a dick sometimes but god he’s smart that one. And Still Attractive too!”

“Breathe Mike,” I reminded him, “And I didn’t have any trouble with the lab; I’ve done it before.” I winked at him and laughed as he accused me of cheating.

“Sooooo, Eddie Edwin seemed friendlier today,” he commented as we shrugged into our raincoats. “He spoke to you and everything!”

“Still left like someone had lit a fire under his heels though,” I smirked at him. It was easier to not be bothered by his cold shoulder when I had good friends to commiserate and laugh with.

Mike grinned, “You are not wrong there. Say, did I ever tell you about the time I sat next to him for a year”

“What?! No! Spill.” I demanded from him. He chortled and launched into a story about the time he knocked a flask of unidentified acid over their working space as we walked to Gym. Mike was on my team today and did a fantastic job of covering my position as well as his own, meaning it was very easy for my attention to wander and my brain to start thinking about Alice Cullen again. My woolgathering was only interrupted when it was my turn to serve; my team ducking wearily out the way everytime I was up. 

The rain was more of a mist by the time I walked to the parking lot, but I was still much happier when I was ensconced in the dry cab. I got the heater running, no longer worried about the mind-numbing roar of my truck engine. I unzipped my jacket and put the hood down, fluffing my damp hair out so that it could dry on the way home.

I looked around me to make sure it was clear. That’s when I noticed them. Stood by the Volvo a mere three cars away, were two white figures, angled as if conversing but definitely staring in my direction. I ignored Edward. He immediately paled (ha!) in comparison to his companion. It was Alice. She was there. And she was staring. At me. She noticed me. I panicked and threw the truck into reverse, almost hitting a rusty Toyota in my haste. Lucky for the Toyota, the adrenaline overruled the gay panic and I stomped on the brake in time; my truck would have totalled it. I took a deep breath, muttered a “C’mon you useless fuckin lesbian” to myself, continued to avoid looking in their direction, and cautiously pulled out again. I had much greater success the second time. I stared straight ahead as I passed the Volvo, but from a peripheral peek, I would swear I saw Edward laughing at a surprisingly embarrassed looking Alice. I wondered what I’d missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella, a lesbian: HOW DARE THIS TWINK BE ATTRACTIVE IM SO ANGERY !!! VERY RUDE !!!!! NOT ALLOWED !!!!!
> 
> anyhow I hope this is the gay content y'all want


	3. Phenomenon (doo doo dododo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Bella to nearly get run over and get pissed when Eddie saves her. Also Charlie and Carlisle get to be in the same room,, nice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OhMyGod ok. OK. why are all these chapters so long. ANYWAY im in quarantine and waiting to hear from my lecturers so figured fuck it lets write another chapter. Bella swears a lot more now cus fuck it why not,, also there may be errors cus im. tired. I'll try and fix em later, Hope u enjoy it!

When I opened my eyes the next day, something was wrong. The light. The light was different, clearer. Where was the fog that tended to veil my window? Why was it so much brighter than usual? Sure the light was still that grey-green colour of a cloudy forest day but… it was Off somehow. 

I got up to look out the window. I immediately groaned in horror. A fine layer of snow coated the yard, dusting my truck and whiting out the road as if an overly enthusiastic 5 year old had gotten a hold of a bag of icing sugar and just gone hog-wild.

That was not the worst part. The worst part was that all the rain from yesterday, and there was predictably a lot of it, had the balls to freeze completely solid. It coated the needles on the trees in fantastically gorgeous patterns and turned the road and driveway into a deadly dangerous ice slick. God knows I had enough trouble staying on my feet and upright when the ground was safe and dry. It might be safer for everyone if I just went back to bed but alas, time waits for no man.

Yet again Ch- dad had left for work well before I got downstairs. I was starting to really appreciate how hard the man worked - he was barely ever home. In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was a bit like having my own place and I reveled in my alone-time every morning. That’s not to say however, that I didn’t treasure the evenings we spent together. Dare I say the man was slowly becoming a decent cook under my tutelage. About time honestly he should have learnt how to survive outside of ready meals and tinned food years ago.

I quickly scarfed down a bowl of cereal and chugged some orange juice straight from the carton. My kitchen, my rules. A phrase I was swiftly using to justify my every move, having giggled it at Ch- dad the night before when he had sputtered at me for sticking my head under the tap to drink water instead of just getting a glass. I was starting to really enjoy living here. I was also, weirdly enough, really excited to go to school. Weird. That has almost never happened before and I certainly never expected to feel this way about Forks. It was kind of scary. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t the “stimulating learning environment” or even the chance to hang out with my new friends (though I am sure they played a part). No. The reason I was so eager to get to school, if I was really being honest with myself, was because I wanted another chance to wistfully gaze longingly at my angel Alice from a distance. Which was unbelievbly gay and very stupid of me. It was also depressingly on brand. 

God knows I wasn’t looking forward to confronting her brother again though. I still couldn’t believe I’d inadvertently babbled my entire life story at him yesterday like some kind of brainless straight woman hypnotised by his eyes. Awful. If people think I’m straight I may have to move back to my mom and homophobic phil. Also Twinkle Little Star was still mighty suspicious in my eyes. What is UP with his eyes?!? And why the hell would he lie about it? And lets not forget the bizarrely hostile stares he directs at me. Thank fuck I have Mike to bitch with otherwise it would be intolerable. Still, maybe if I could befriend him, I could edge my way into his social sphere. By which I mean, I could get closer to Alice. God she’s so beautiful.

It took every single ounce of concentration to make it down the ice brick driveway alive; and given that, despite one close call when I reached the truck, I didn’t fall over once I think I deserve a medal. Today was going to be a nightmare. 

On the drive to school I daydreamed about what Alice and I would name our labrador when we lived together in domestic lesbian bliss. Or at least, I did until I realised that it was distracting me far too much for such an icy drive and then I did my best to think about the interactions Jess and I had observed between Mike and Eric. It was school-wide knowledge (although actually it was known only to the Gays ™  so, not that school-wide) that Mike had always had a bit of a thing for Twink McCullen. Something I had ribbed him for hours about when I realised. However, Eric had been shooting Mike some Very Interesting glances recently. Also I’d realised recently that the boys at this school treated me differently to the ones in Phoenix which is wild. I hadn’t had to deal with any Straight Men trying to ask me out at all. Maybe there’s something in the water here which makes everyones gay-dars better cus all I’ve been getting are sly looks everytime I’m anywhere near the vicinity of a pretty girl which, to be honest, I probably deserve. Especially when that girl is Alice Cullen who is just. So much more than a girl. She’s an ethereal goddess of beauty and grace and- my thoughts were getting away from me again. The point was it was kind of nice.

As I drove I noticed that my truck seemed to have absolutely no trouble with the black ice that coated the roads. Why would it? It’s an indestructible tank of a vehicle and I love it. I still drove pretty slowly though. I didn’t want to carve out a path of destruction through Main Street on my way to school. I could imagine my dad would have quite a lot to say about that. 

When I got to school and disembarked, something silver gleaned in the corner of my eye and the reason for my easy drive became clear. I had not just had little to no trouble because my truck is a beast like I had assumed. Upon examining my tires, the glint of silver morphed into thin chains that criss crossed my tires in diamond shapes. Snow chains. There were snow chains on my tires. That could mean only one thing. My father, my dearest dad, had gotten up at an impossibly early hour to fit snow chains onto the back of my truck before he went to work. My throat tightened. I was beginning to understand the “acts of service” love language living with my dad. He was never good at verbally expressing his feelings to me but this kind of unspoken care and concern spoke volumes. I felt my throat tighten a bit. I wasn’t hugely used to being taken care of like this and it caught me by surprise. With mom, I had always been the one looking out for her and it was strange to experience it from the other side. A good strange. My chest felt warm.

I was standing by the back corner of the truck, feeling pretty good and basking in the feeling of being cared for that the snow chains inspired when I heard an odd sound of the high-pitched screech variety. The kind of high-pitched screech that quickly becomes painful when it gains volume, which this was doing worryingly fast. I looked up, startled from my thoughts. 

I noticed several things simultaneously. The movies lied to me. Nothing was moving in slow motion at all, in fact, it was happening pretty goddamned quickly. Luckily the huge surge of adrenaline I was experiencing seemed to make my brain work a lot faster and I was able to absorb it all in clear detail as it happened. 

Four cars down from me, an angel stared at me in horror, arm outstretched. Huh. I filed that away at the back of my brain as hope. Could it be possible that she knew who I was? That she cared about me? God I’m so gay. I barely bothered to note that her idiot not-technically-her-brother stood next to her also gawping at me in horror. I hated that he somehow still managed to look attractive with such a stupid expression on his face. In fact, the sea of faces they were managing to stand out from all seemed to be frozen in the same mask of shock. However, the most crucial element of the scene that my brain registered with a faint “oh shit” was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, solving the mystery of the terrible noise. It was spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot and it was going to hit the back corner of my truck. The back corner that I was stood by. Almost directly between the two solid objects. At least my truck would survive. I didn’t even have time to close my eyes.

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, inevitably rendering my life a tragically short one, something hit me. It hit me hard but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop and I felt something cold and solid pinning me to the ground. What just happened?? I vaguely registered the tan car I was lying next to as the tan car I had parked next to. Huh. Today was turning out to be a wild ride and it wasn’t even over yet. Before I could notice anything else, I was made horribly aware that somehow the van was still coming for me like some kind of homing missile. It had somehow curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with me for a second time that morning. 

A low oath alerted me to the fact that someone was with me. And the voice was distressingly familiar. For fucks sake really?!? It HAD to be HIM didn’t it.

Two long white hands shot out protectively in front of me and stopped the van. It shuddered to a halt a foot from my face as the hands fit into an auspicious looking dent in the side of the van's body. Stranger and stranger. I was feeling strangely calm at this point and absently figured it had to be shock. The most I felt was outrage that my life was apparently being saved by the bitchiest bottom in the entire school and not his gorgeous angelic sister. The Audacity. 

Suddenly his stupid hands were moving again, so fast this time that they blurred. Maybe that was the shock. One hand was swiftly gripping under the body of the van and I felt something drag me - swinging my legs around like I was a little rag doll until they hit the tire of the tan car. The tan car with a really dirty undercarriage I noted absently. A groaning metallic thud hit my ears as the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt. It had stopped exactly where half a second ago my legs had been. 

Silence hung over the parking lot. A silence that, alas, couldn’t last. People started screaming. Amidst the abrupt bedlam I could hear more than one frantic call of my name. I wondered if Alice was worried. My musing was interrupted a clear voice cutting through my voice as one Edward Cullen whispered, low and frantic in my ear,

“Bella? Bella are you alright??”

The fuckin nerve of this man. I was just nearly crepe-ified into the tarmac! My brain is firing all kinds of synapses right now. Am I Alright??? Pft.

“I’m just peachy thanks.” Well, that didn’t come out as blase as I hoped it would. In fact, my voice sounded a little bit strange. I tried to sit up. Tried being the operative word. The iron grip Edwardo seemed to have on me kept my flush to the side of his body. Rude. It’s not like I was concussed. Probably.

“Be Careful,” he warned as I struggled against his tyrannical plan to keep me still, “I think you hit your head pretty hard”

No Shit Eddie Edmund. Although… as soon as he mentioned it the dull ache consolidated into a large throbbing ache centred above my left ear.

“...ow.” I was betrayed by my tone which had somehow come out as surprised instead of sarcastic. Betrayal on all sides. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

He was laughing at me. He had no right to sound so amused I just nearly died. Asshole. I was gunna wipe that smile right off his stupid fucking face. Let’s see how he likes that.

“How- How did you get over here so fast?” 

The suppressed smile slid off his face. Hah! Take that Waldo you bitch. I can still notice things! I was sort of looking forward to hearing his bullshit excuses seeing how shit he was at covering the change in his eye colour. 

“I was standing right next to you Bella”

Yeah fuckin right. As If. My God, how was that excuse worse than I was expecting. At least his tone was more serious again.

I turned to sit up, pushing his arms away from me as I did so. I was disappointingly aware that I probably only got away with it because he let me. A suspicion that was only reinforced by how he immediately scooted away from me as much as he could in the limited space available. As I looked across at his innocent expression that had an underlying concern I was once again struck by the force of his gold-coloured eyes. I wonder if Alice’s eyes were like that. My mind immediately wandered, picturing different ways that I could get close enough to notice. What was I talking about?

Then, they found us. A whole crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at both each other and us. It was extraordinarily disorientating. 

“Don’t move!”

“Get Tyler out of the van!”

There was a flurry of activity around us and I immediately tried to get to my feet only to be stopped by the icy grip of death. Ok so it was the icy grip of the youngest cullen but still. It’s the same thing. 

“Just. Stay put for now.”

Absolutely not. I shook my head at him stubbornly. An action I immediately regretted. Right. Head injury. Still…  “It’s Cold.”

He stared at my blankly before huffing out a low chuckle. It had an edge to it. What was his DEAL?!? Time to throw him off again.

“You were over there,” it was getting hazy but I knew I was right. His chuckle stopped short. 

“You were by your car. With Alice”

“Of course you noticed Alice,” he muttered to himself. I was fairly certain I wasn;t supposed to hear that. Hu turned to me, his expression hard. “No. I wasn’t.”

“I saw you. You were there. With Alice.” All around us was chaos. I could hear the gruffer voices of adults arriving on the scene. I spared a thought for Charlie. Hopefully he wouldn’t know I was involved yet - I didn’t want him to worry. I held onto the argument I was having. It kept me distracted and by God I was going to win. I was right and he was going to admit it. Time to bring out that patented Swan Stubbornness.

“Bella… I was standing with you and I pulled you out of the way.” He glared at me, as if trying and failing to communicate something crucial. It was a devastating glare, I’ll give him that much. I set my jaw.

“No.”

The gold in his eyes blazed at me. “Please Bella”

Huh. Interesting. He probably wouldn’t call that request but I was certainly going to. I was winning. When I still had head trauma. Ha.

“Why.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. A fierce one.

“Trust me,” he pleaded. 

I could hear the sirens approaching and threw out another quick prayer that Charlie wasn’t worrying too much. God knows he’d given me those snow chains to prevent this exact sort of thing. 

“Will you Promise to explain everything to me later?” I stared him down. I wasn’t going to let go without getting something out of this whole ordeal. I nearly died for fucks sake.

“Fine!” He snapped, abruptly. Exasperated. Excellent. I love it when I can successfully irritate people into capitulation. 

“Fine” I repeated back at him.

It took 6 EMTs and 2 whole teachers (Mr Varner of the dreader Maths and Coach Clapp himself) to shift the van far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Overkill if you ask me. Somehow Edwin and The Angry Inch managed to get away with refusing his whilst I got shot down almost immediately. The traitorous twink telling them I’d hit my head didn’t help with that at all and I made sure he knew how much that pissed me off by boring a hole in his head with my best glare. When they forced a neck brace onto me I nearly died of humiliation. 

Great. 

Time to get carted off in an ambulance whilst what looked like the entire school looked on somberly. Still, I thought to myself in a pitiful attempt to cheer myself up, at least this would be a fun story to tell and a fantastic way to win all arguments; ‘sorry Mike did YOU nearly get crushed to death by a van in front of the whole school? No? Well I did so hush’. Ah humour, how would we cope without you.

Unbelievably Edward was somehow allowed to ride in the front of the ambulance whilst I was loaded into the back like a wardrobe for delivery. Infuriating stuff. To make matters worse, God decided that would be the perfect moment to let me know he didn’t care a whit about my prayers as Chief Swan arrived on scene and recognised the girl on the stretcher as his dearly beloved daughter before they could close the doors. Fuck.

“BELLA!” He yelled in a panic, rushing towards the ambulance, face pale and concern writ all over his face.

“Uh. Hi Dad,” I waved at him as sheepishly as I could given my current position. “This probably looks worse than it is…”

“Bella. You’re in an ambulance. On a stretcher. With a neck brace.”

“I’m fine?” I tried. “There’s nothing wrong with me I swear!”

“Uh-huh.” He sounded skeptical which, given the situation, was probably pretty valid. He brushed some stray hair out of my face before turning to the closest EMT for a second opinion. I stared at the roof of the ambulance and let my thoughts run over me. I thought about the dent in the van that looked like an imprint of Edward’s hands. I thought about the almost matching dent in the tan car that looked like his shoulders - as if he’d braced himself hard enough to damage the metal frame. I thought about the rest of the Cullens, who I had spotted at a distance when they lifted me out. I thought about their faces which showed little concern for their brother yet ranged from amused to disproving. I thought about Alice. She at least, had seemed worried. But she had been looking at me, not Eddie. A fact that seemed more out of place than the rest of them. I racked my brains, trying to connect all the dots but my thought process seemed a little fuzzy. The only solution I could come up with was that I was going insane.

It was not an acceptable solution.

As expected, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital. The perks of having a police chief for a dad I guess. I felt ridiculous the whole time they were unloading me, even more so when they allowed Ederson to just saunter in through the hospital doors under his own power. Maybe that’s the perk of having the chief physician for a dad. Still maddening though. I ground my teeth together.

They put me in the emergency room - a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel-patterned curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer under my tongue before wandering off and leaving me fairly unsupervised. Since the curtain was not pulled around my bed and I was in full view of the room, I decided to make like a movie character and remove the neck brace they'd given me; quickly unfastening the Velcro and throwing it under the bed. I heard a chuckle and looked up to see my dad approaching.

“Somehow, I am not surprised. You’re worse than your mother you know.” He looked at me fondly and I opened my mouth to fire a rejoinder at him but was cut off by a sudden ruckus. 

A flurry of hospital personnel brought another stretched to the bed beside me and I suddenly recognised Tyler Crowley from my Government class beneath the bloodstained bandages that were wrapped tightly around his head. He looked a hundred times worse than I felt and yet he was staring anxiously up at me as if I were dying in front of him.

“Bella, I’m so sorry! I-”

“I’m fine Tyler. You however, look awful. Are you alright?” As we spoke, nurses began unwinding his soiled bandages to reveal a myriad of shallow slices all over his forehead and left cheek. 

He ignored me and steamrolled on.

“I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast and I hit the ice wrong and the brakes-” He winced as one of the nurses started to dab at his face. I took the opportunity.

“Don’t worry about it. You missed me. It’s Fine.”

“Easy enough for you to say. I’ve lost 4 years of my life,” my dad muttered next to me. I drove my elbow into him and he let out a soft puff of air before turning away with a slight smile.

“How did you get out the way so fast?!? You were there and then you were gone, it was so fast!”

“Uhm. Edward? Pulled me out the way?” I decided to lean into the confusion. I’m a terrible Liar and it was time to capitalise on the general sense of what-the-fuckery I was feeling. Besides this much was true at least.

“Who??” Tyler just looked confused.

“Edward Cullen? He…” shit. “He was standing next to me?”I’ve always been an absolutely shit liar. I didn’t sound convincing at all. Not even a smidge.

“Cullen? I didn’t see him at all… wow. I guess it just all happened so fast I just- Is he ok?”

“I think so… He’s around here somewhere but they didn’t even make him use a stretcher.” Bastard. Tyler’s confusion just reinforced my bewilderment. I knew I wasn’t crazy - there was no way Edwin was with me. What the hell had happened? There was no way to explain it.

Before I could think on it further, Charlie gave my hand a squeeze and they wheeled me away to X-ray my head. I insisted there was nothing wrong with me and it turns out, I was right. Wild I thought I was just being stubborn. I didn’t even have a concussion! I asked if I could leave but the Nurse said I had to talk to a doctor first. Damn.

I was trapped in the ER, waiting and feeling vaguely harassed by Tyler’s constant apologies and promises to make it up to me - no matter what I said to try and reassure me he just kept going. I gave up and started to ignore him. Good thing I wasn’t here on my own - dear ol’ dad was stuck with me, waiting anxiously to hear the verdict. He glanced at me and quirked the corner of his mouth up. 

“Your mother’s going to kill me when she hears about this you know.”

I stared at him. He wasn’t wrong Ren ée was going to completely freak when she heard about this. Which, in a perfect world, she wouldn’t. I somehow had a feeling that Charlie was still going to tell her. Sometimes he’s too honest for his own good.

“Ah, there you are!” A musical voice piped up from the end of the bed. A really familiar musical voice. Un. Believable. I slowly turned around to find Edward Bloody Cullen stood at the foot of my bed smirking. He turned to nod at my dad. “Hi Charlie, how are you doing?”

What. The Hell. 

“Hey Edward. I’m pretty good thanks. How’re your studies going? You keeping an eye out for Bells for me?” Charlie nods back at him. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone, what’s happening?!? 

Edward chuckled, “I’m doing the best I can sir.” He turned to address me directly, “what’s the verdict?”

I stared at him, admittedly baffled. It took me a while to scrape enough brain cells together to respond. “I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me at all but they won’t let me go,” I complained. “How come they didn’t even try to strap you to a gurney with the rest of us huh?”

“It’s all about who you know,” he answered. He glanced at Charlie. “But don’t worry, I came to spring you.” Charlie drew in a sharp breath through his nose and bemused embarrassment flashed briefly across Einstein’s face as if he had overheard something not meant for his ears.  Charlie shifted from foot to foot, looking strangely guilty; glancing around the room like a fugitive. Interesting.

Then a doctor walked around the corner and my mouth fell open. I’m still a Lesbian dont get me wrong but by God some of the men in this town… very inconsiderate of them to be that attractive. He was young, blonde and more handsome than any movie star I’d ever seen in my entire life. He was also pale and tired looking. This was probably Ed’s father. The fabled Dr Cullen. I snuck a glance at Charlie and judging by the red tips of his ears and the rising colour up his neck there was definitely Something there. My initial instincts were right, there was something in how he had talked about Carlisle. Hmm. Very Interesting Indeed.

He shot a sparkling smile at my dad who immediately muttered a greeting to his shoes. I’m definitely going to badger him about this later. He turned his attention to me as I stared at him with interest. His smile dimmed slightly as he donned a more professional look.

“So, Miss Swan,” Dr. Cullen said in a disgustingly appealing voice, “how are you feeling”

“I’m fine,” I said, hopefully for the last time. It came out slightly distracted as I did my best to observe Charlie’s behaviour unobtrusively. He was clearly doing his best to Not Stare but that somehow made it worse. I chanced a glance at Edward to see if this kind of behaviour was unprecedented or just kind of normal and was very surprised to see him staring at the ceiling in exasperation. I guess it’s fairly normal. 

“Your X-rays look good,” said Dr Sexy, snapping my attention back to him and away from my father's apparent crisis. At some point he had moved over to the lightboard and switched it on. I hadn’t even noticed. “Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.”

I shot a frown in Edward’s general direction. “Edward’s a tattle tale,” I said, “It’s fine”. 

The doctor’s cool fingers probed lightly along my skull. His hand was like an ice pack, it was kind-of soothing. He noticed when I winced.

“Tender?” he asked.

“Not really.”

I heard a chuckle and I knew without even looking it was Edward. I could just picture his patronizing smile. My eyes narrowed.

“Well. Seeing as Charlie’s already here with you,” he said moving closer to Charlie who stayed rooted to the spot, a flush high on his cheeks, “I see no reason why you can’t just go home with him now. But if you feel dizzy or have any trouble with your eyesight at all I want you to come straight back ok?” He turned and glanced significantly at my father, clearly passing on the message to him too. Charlie tilted his head towards him in acknowledgement. 

“Can’t I go back to school?” I asked, thinking about my friends and the reaction of the other Cullens earlier. Also now had a super cool story and it was time for me to return like Lesbian Jesus. Unharmed and Not Dead.

“Maybe you should take it easy today.” God. Dr Carlisle has such big Dad Energy. 

I glanced at Edward.

“Does he get to go to school?”

“Someone has to spread the good news that we survived,” Edward said smugly like a fucking bitch boy. GOD he’s so insufferable.

“Actually,” Dr Cullen interrupted, “most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.”

“Oh Nooooo,” I groaned out loud, covering my face with both my hands. I hated making a spectacle of myself. However I will admit, I was mostly being dramatic for the sake of it.

Dr Cullen glanced at Charlie who smirked at him before raising his eyebrows at me. “Do you want to stay?”

“No, no!” I threw my legs over the side of the bed and hopped down quickly. Far too quickly as it turned out. I staggered over and dad caught me, throwing me a concerned look as he did so. Dr Cullen also looked worried now. “I’m Fine!” I insisted to both of them. Charlie at least should realise that my balance problems had nothing to do with my near death experience, and what Cullen Sr. didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

“Take some Tylenol for the pain,” he suggested, watching closely as dad steadied me. Weirdly, he had his hands folded across his chest as if he was stopping himself from reaching out to help. He must have some pretty strong paternal instincts. In the background, I noticed Edbert clap a hand over his eyes. Man that boy is strange sometimes.

“It really doesn’t hurt that bad,” I insisted.

“It sounds like you were extremely lucky,” Dr Cullen said, smiling as he signed my chart with a flourish and suspiciously tidy handwriting for a doctor.

“Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me huh.” I amended with a hard glance towards the subject of my statement.

“Oh, well, yes…” Dr Suspicious Doctor agreed, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. “Anyway, I should probably check on your classmate.” He turned to Charlie, leaning into his space. “It was nice to see you again Charlie. You should come round for dinner again soon - Esme’s been asking after you.”   


Charlie rubbed a hand against the back of his neck awkwardly as I stared on, my train of thought once more derailed by whatever the fresh hell is happening in front of me.

“Yeah it was nice to see you to Carlisle. I’ll uh- I’ll check my schedule. Give Esme my best. I hope she’s doing well.”

“She’ll be doing better when she can see you again,” Carlisle grinned brightly at him. Seriously. It was like the sun came out. It was appalling. He reached up and gripped Charlie's arm. “Ring me. We’ll sort a time” He squeezed him affectionately before moving off to check on Tyler. My brain fritzed out. What was I thinking about again?

OH RIGHT YES. The sexy doctor’s suspicious non-acknowledgement of my dig at Egberts presence at the scene of the crime. Very suspicious. My train of thought flickered back to life. Intuition is a fantastic thing. The doctor. Was in on It. Whatever It was… I distantly heard him telling Tyler he'd have to stay in the hospital for a bit longer. I sighed. 

“Hey dad…”

“Yeah Bells?”

I hesitated. I needed him to leave so I could corner Edwart. “Could you get me some water before we go?”

He sighed at me. “Of course I can. You stay here okay? I’d better let your mother know too whilst I’m at it. Hopefully having a task will limit the time she can yell at me for eh?” He smiled softly at me before moving away. Perfect. I instantly moved to Edrick’s side.

“It’s later now. Spill.” I hissed at him under my breath. He took a step back from me, jaw clenched. 

“Here’s not a good place.”   


“Or a good time I reckon but I don’t trust you. I’d like to speak with you alone, if you don’t mind. You promised.” I pressed. I’m good at pressing. I got a lot of practice with my mom.

He glared at me, and then suddenly turned his back and strode down the long room. I nearly had to run to keep up with him but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. As soon as we turned the corner into a short hallway he spun around to face me.

“What do you want?” he asked, sounding annoyed. His eyes were cold. It was intimidating and I’m not going to pretend I was unaffected by his unfriendliness but I got this far and I wasn’t going to back down. 

“You Owe Me. An Explanation.” I ground out through gritted teeth, channeling my anger as best I could - hoping to override the nerves. 

“I save your life - I don’t owe you anything.”

I flinched back from the resentment in his voice. 

“You Promised Me.”

“Bella. You hit your head. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His town was cutting. 

My temper flared. I glared defiantly at him. 

“There’s nothing wrong with my head.”

“What do you want from me Bella?” He glared at me.

“I want the truth.” I said, It was, I thought, a fairly reasonable request. “I want to know why I’m lying for you.”

“What do you think happened?” he snapped.

The barrier burst. It all came out in a rush. 

“All I know is that you weren’t anywhere near me - Tyler didn’t see you either, so don’t tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both in some sort of dramatically gruesome teen death but it DIDN’T - and YOU left a DENT in the other car and you’re somehow not hurt at all and the van was going to smash up my legs, it was going to , but you held it up and- …” I trailed off. I could hear how crazy it sounded, even as I knew it was the truth. The damage was done though and I couldn't continue. I was so mad. I could feel those traitorous tears coming and I tried to force them back by grinding my teeth together even harder. 

He was staring at me incredulously but his face… his face was tense. Defensive. 

“You think I lifted a van off you?” His tone was blatantly questioning my sanity. It was perfectly intoned. Suspiciously so. It only heightened my scepticism. He delivered the line like an actor. I nodded at him once. Jaw tight. “No one will believe you, you know that.” His voice held an edge of derision.

“I’m not going to tell anybody.” I said slowly. Enunciating each word clearly, controlling my anger as best I could.

“Then… why does it matter?” He asked, surprise flitting across his face.

“Because it Matters to me,” I insisted. “I don’t like to lie. I’m not good at it. So IF I’m lying, I better have a damned good reason to be doing so.”

“...Can’t you just thank me and get over it?”

God I hate this fucking twink so fucking much. He infuriates me.  “Thank You” I grit out, clearly still fuming and expectant.

“...You’re not going to let this go are you?”

“No.”

“In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment.”

We scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to speak, trying desperately to keep myself on track. Today had been a rollercoaster and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. 

“Why did you even bother” I asked frigidly.

He looked stunned at the question. I felt brief triumph at tripping him up so thoroughly. He opened and shut his mouth a few times like some kind of gormless goldfish before shaking his head. He didn’t say anything. He just sighed, turned on his heel and walked away.

  
  


I was so angry I was in danger of shaking apart at the seams or just crying. Or both. Like I said, it’s been a long day. Slowly, I made my way back to the ED where, predictably, Charlie was waiting for me with a bottle of water clasped in his hands. Less predictably, he seemed to be deep in conversation with Dr Cullen, their heads bowed close together. I’d sort of forgotten about those vibes but I was swiftly reminded of them. I shook my head. Hadn’t they said their goodbyes already?? Charlie glanced up and caught sight of me, quickly stepping away like he’d been caught doing something heinous. I raised an eyebrow at him as Cullen turned to stare at me too. He smiled sheepishly at me before muttering something to Charlie under his breath and grasping at his elbow one final time. 

Charlie walked over to me and handed me the water bottle. 

“Ready to go Kiddo?”

I sighed and took a swig of the room temperature water. Ah hospitals. 

“I guess so.”

  
  


We stepped into the waiting room. Crap. I’d forgotten that the entire school was supposedly here. It seemed like every face I knew in Forks was there. Mike Jess and Eric began to converge on me and I held up my hands like a gospel leader preaching to the choir.

“I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me, I promise.”

“What did the doctors say??” Mike asked, eyes wide.

“Dr Cullen saw me. He said I was fine and I could go home. Which I’m doing. I’ll see you guys later ok?”

“Sure thing Bella”   


“Yeah get some rest ok?” That was Jess.

“Thanks guys”

I shook my head and tugged at Charlies sleeve. I was suddenly inexplicably exhausted. Though the exhaustion probably wasn’t that inexplicable, all trauma considered. 

“C’mon dad. Let’s go home”

Charlie chuckled lightly and rested his hand over mine, projecting a calming sort of paternal warmth. 

“Sure thing Bells.”

He guided me all the way outside and into the cruiser and we drove home in silence. He was clearly giving me space. My thoughts lingered on Elrond’s behaviour in the hallway. Somehow, it had confirmed that I had seen the bizarre things I thought I had witnessed. 

5 minutes before we got home Charlies lip twitched and he broke the comfortable silence.

“So, I rang your mother”

“Oh Boy”

“Yep. She was pretty hysterical at first but I think I managed to talk her down. She’d probably appreciate a ring from you though”

“Probably. I can’t believe you told her”   


“Sorry,” He chuckled at me. We both knew it was unavoidable. She would hold it against us forever if she found out we’d hidden it from her at any point. 

The silence stretched on a bit and I spotted the driveway in the distance. I had to time this perfectly.

“So… what’s up with you and Dr Cullen?”

Charlie started sputtering so hard that I thought he was going to choke to death. His face flushed an impressive colour.

“WHat?!?” He squeaked out.

“You and Carlisle. You seemed to know each other pretty well”

“I uh- y-yeah I guess we do, I mean we just- we met on- and it-” 

Wow. I have never. In my Life. Heard Charlie this lost for words. This is the worst case of foot-in-mouth I’ve ever seen from him and that is saying something. 

“Oh look we’re home” I grinned brightly at him and hopped out the car, leaving him to stew as I sauntered up to the house. 

As soon as I got in I headed up to my room, pulling my phone out my pocket and ringing my mom on the way up. She was, unsurprisingly, in a state. She even begged me to come home; clearly forgetting that at the moment ‘home’ was empty. Her pleas were easier to resist than I thought. I really am adapting to and enjoying life in Forks. And now I had a mystery in addition to a fictional love life. What more could a lesbian want. I really wasn’t as eager to leave Forks as I thought I would be. Eventually I managed to calm her down.

I decided I could do with an early night. The day had been more than slightly stressful. I spent the rest of the afternoon hunkered down in my room and by the time evening rolled around I was more than ready for sleep. I grabbed 3 Tylenol from the bathroom on my way to bed and they did help. As the pain eased, I drifted into sleep.

That night, somehow, for the first time, the mystery of Edgartun Culltock wormed its way into my dreams. Directly interfering with my previous dreams of domestic bliss with my One and Only Beloved. 

What a Dickweed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella: hello yes i nearly died this is the emergency department yes  
Carlisle: cool ur fine. and so,, is ur dad,,, heyy chharrliiieeee come on a dinner date with me and my wiiiffeeeee
> 
> ((also ,, help im an idiot how tf do i put indents in b4 speech ?????))


	4. Invitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring Dance Invites and Fake!Straight drama. The local gays think they're funny and it get them in trouble. Mike's an ass and that's why we love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS HERE an update! a Miracle! here we, here we, here we fucking go. again.  
i still dont have a plan for this and am in fact, making it up as i go. which is getting harder as the plot approaches whoops. still. bella has a plan now. hope yall enjoy it!!
> 
> hopefully ive managed to fix the formatting on both this and the preceding chapters lemme know if its still funky

My dream started out dark. A stark change from my more recent dreams of future bliss with my future wife. Strangely, it seemed that the only light I could see was radiating out from Twinkopher Robin’s skin. Why the hell was he in my dreamscape. Probably the trauma of him saving me if I was honest. Thankfully I was unable to see his stupid face and he was definitely leaving. Un-thankfully, he was slowly joined by Alice. Usually my dreams of her are so pleasant this was…...ominous. Tragically, I also could not see her face. She walked with Tedward, away from me into the abyss. I jogged after them, not wanting to be left in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t catch up with them; and no matter how loudly I called out to my lady love, she never turned around.

I awoke troubled in the middle of the night. Needless to say sleep seemed far far away from me and when I finally managed to pass back out it seemed like an eternity had passed. After that, they continued to haunt and taunt me in my dreams nearly every night. Always on the periphery. Never within reach.

The month following the accident was, needless to say, uneasy and tense. Just like home. It was also, at first, embarrassing. 

For the rest of the week I was the centre of attention. Understandable given the drama of how I had nearly been graphically killed in front of the whole school but, also incredibly dismaying. I hate being the centre of attention. Tyler Crowley especially, was impossible. He followed me around constantly, obsessed with making amends somehow and no matter how much I tried I couldn’t seem to convince him that the best way to make amends would be to forget about it. Seriously, I was fine now. No Harm Done. He insisted otherwise; and so we gained another follower. He even sat at our now-crowded lunch table. We were in danger of being the Cool Kids - luckily we were still all gay and therefore more outcasts than hip.

Mike and Eric found more glee than they should have in the situation, constantly teasing me about my straight fan crushing on the helpless lesbian. They seem to be developing an immunity to my glares.

Still, despite the upping in Banter, I took every opportunity I could to bitch about the fact that Edwardo had saved my life. I owed my life to a twink. However, despite enjoying my never-ending vitriol most of them seemed to even believe he was near me. Jessica AND Eric insisted that they hadn’t even seen him there until the van was pulled away. Mike, however, weirdly, was on my side. Or at least, I thought it was weird until I realised that the reason no one else had seen him standing so far away before he was saving my life was that no one else was as aware of him.

I keep tabs on my ‘enemies’ so I’m always peripherally aware of him - especially when he’s standing with my lady love. Mike’s backing made a lot more sense when I considered how much he glanced at Edilburto. One day, I would get that story out of him. 

The point remained. Edbyrte was never surrounded by huge crowds of curious teens badgering him for a firsthand account. Bastard. People continued to avoid him like the plague. The Cullens and The Hales continued to sit at the same table as always. They continued to not eat in a suspicious sort of way, talking amongst themselves. None of them ever glanced my way. Not Alice and Not Edward. The world seemed a little greyer.

Hysterically, when he sat next to me in class, he would sit as far from me as the table would allow and acted totally unaware of my presence. Asshole. I was surprised to find myself slightly disappointed. I had enjoyed the brief but of banter we’d shared and was sure we were on our way to sharing solidarity. Instead, we appeared to be swinging towards becoming the definition of wlw/mlm hostility instead. What a bitch. I slowly began to conclude that he regretted saving my life. Well. Me too bitch. Me too. Literally anyone else please god.

I still sort of wanted to talk to him. The last time I’d seen him outside the ER we’d both been so furious. I was still angry that he wouldn’t tell me the truth and instead tried to feed me some bullshit story not even a kindergartener would believe. Despite this, the unfortunate truth remained that he’d saved my life despite being the world's twinkiest little fuckboy. As I had lay in my bed the night after the accident I had to very begrudgingly admit to some gratitude for that. I had decided to try and talk to him.

He was already seated when I got to Biology, staring straight ahead into the middle distance with a bizarrely determined air. I sat down, expecting him to turn toward me. However he didn't even blink, continuing to look into the distance as if awaiting the return of his fit military husband from the war overseas. He showed no sign of realising I was there.

“Hey there bitch boy,” I said jovially, sort of behaving myself but unwilling to let the ongoing name gag die down.

He deigned to turn his head towards me, just a fraction, nowhere near to meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then immediately looked away again. That was the last interaction I’d had with him. Sometimes, when I was busy staring longingly after my lesbian love I would notice him in my periphery, moping around like the worlds most depressed little twink (a high bar, I’ve met some Very Depressed Twinks). Weirdly his eyes seemed darker every time I saw him. Neither him nor the Goddess Who Walks Among Us paid me any attention. Truly a modern day tragedy. I wasn’t that broken up about Edzio being a prick, it's his default mode, but Alice hadn’t looked at me in ages and I had a desire to be Seen. Not Known but Seen. Even in my dreams she ignored me.

Despite how much I hedged around the truth of it all (the truth being I’m too dramatic to live and was pining for an unattainable girl), apparently the tone of my emails was enough to alert Renée to my ‘depression’. She called a few times, worried out of her overactive mind. I did my best to convince her it was mostly the weather and Vitamin D deprivation. 

Mike was so obviously amused at the renewed coolness between me and my lab partner. I love him but he’s a little bitch and he knows it. He clearly had a bit of a thing for The Cheerless Cullen despite how much he denied it and was greatly enjoying watching him fall on his own sword. There’s nothing more entertaining than watching a bratty little bottom cut of his nose to spite his own face; which is definitely what was happening as I am a known delight to talk to. At least there’s some wlw/mlm solidarity in this goddamned school. He would often sit on the edge of my table to talk before the class started, we would make snide comments and generally piss about obnoxiously, sniggering at Edmwnd as he ignored us.

After that one Dangerously Icy Day, the snow seemed to wash away for good - much to the disappointment of Mike who never got his snowball fight. Luckily Jess was quick to remind him about the beach trip that would soon be possible and after that he perked right back up again. It continued to constantly rain and as the weeks passed, Jessica began to make me more and more aware of another event that loomed on the horizon. The spring dance. 

Two weeks before it we gathered to discuss attendance tactics. Technically None Of Us were Out Out at school. Like, we had the vibes down pat but straight people are idiots so. We needed a game plan. Luckily, there was an even number of us in the main group and we all had corresponding ‘hetero-buddies’. Me and Mike were gunna team up and Jess and Eric were also gunna go together. We’d debated all going stag but that had opened up too many opportunities for Other People to ask us out. 

Unfortunately, this had the terrible terrible side effect of me agreeing to go to the dance. Which I had previously believed I would not be going anywhere near At All if i could help it. I’m TERRIBLE at dancing. 4 left-feet kind of terrible. Still. It was sorted pretty quick this way and it seemed the easiest solution.

I had forgotten, of course, that Mike is a Terrible Person with a penchant for trouble. He decided, it would be fun, to dramatically ask me to the dance in the most obnoxious way possible. In Biology. Sat on my desk. In front of Edorta Cowslip. BASTARD.

“So.” He started, grinning at me with mischief in his eyes, “Jessica asked me to the spring dance”. He was a lying liar who created drama for fun. I loved him so much. 

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Did she now”

“Sure she did! I said no.”

I stared at him incredulously. Really?? This is where he was going to go with this. I considered reminding him that Edwin the Edderson already knew I was a lesbian. Seeing as he was sitting rigidly beside me, I figured he remembered pretty clearly. I sniggered inwardly and decided to just run with it.

“Oh No. Whyever would you do such a thing”

“Well Bells, Bella, Baby-” he was simpering at me now and batting his eyelashes. I glared at him. It did nothing. “I was sort of hoping. That maybe. You would ask me.”

I continued to stare at him.

“Were you now.” In the corner of my eye I could see Curmudgeonly Cullen flick a look towards us. His general vibe of ‘I can’t even see you let alone hear you’ increased to a point of straining. I hope he pulled something. “Well I hate to break it to you Micheal but I’m not going.”

“Damn,” he grinned at me, secure in the knowledge that we were both full of shit. “Guess I WILL go with Jess after all.”

“Uh-huh have fun.”

“So what are you doing if you’re not going to the dance?”

“I am… going to Seattle.”

Mike opened his mouth, no doubt hoping to hand me another shovel so I could dig deeper, but fortunately before I could trap myself in a web of elaborate ‘lies’ Mr Banner called for everyone to settle down and he had to head back to his desk. I smirked after him as he left.

When I turned back to the front I was surprised to find Ederick staring at me in bafflement. I stared back at him, noting the familiar edge of frustration that was back in his nearly black eyes.

“What” I hissed at him.

He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the teacher requesting an answer to a question I didn’t hear.

“The Krebs Cycle” Emilio answered, turning to look at Mr Banner with what seemed like a surprising amount of reluctance. I turned back to my book. His turn to be ignored - let’s see how he likes it.

When the bell rang an hour later, I was fully expecting him to peg it out of the classroom as quick as he could. For some unknowable reason, this was not the case.

“Bella?” 

FUCK.

I turned to face him. Slowly. Unwillingly. I did not want to know what his stupid opinions were on Mike’s stupid “let’s be straight” game. His expression was unreadable. He didn’t say anything. Bastard. I was abruptly reminded I was cross with him for ignoring me when I thought we were becoming bros.

“Oh hi Edgelord. Didn’t notice you there you were so quiet. Have you decided I exist again?”

His lips twitched against his will. Oh Good he did still think I was funny. “No.”

I stared at him and blinked hard. 

“Funny. What do you want, O'Gracious Spirit of the divine Lord?”

He shook his head back and forth slowly and stared at the floor before looking back and making what seemed like sincere eye contact. Gross.

“I AM sorry. I know I’m being rude but it’s better this way. It really is.”

I continued to stare at him. Better for fuckin what now. His weird little cult? His society of Mutants? I breathed out heavily through my nose.

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. What are you? Mafia?”

He snorted.

“It’s just. It’s better if we’re not friends,” he explained, failing to actually explain anything in the process. “Trust me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Not in a million fucking years. Time to throw him off his rhythm.

“Too bad you didn’t figure all that out earlier huh. Could’ve saved you the trouble n regret huh.”

“Wh- what?” Bingo. He was confused. “Regret? Regret for what?”

“For saving my life dumbass. God you’re stupid.”

He stared at me in disbelief, jaw hanging open, for a good couple of seconds. Hah.

Conversation: derailed. I’m a pro.

“I’M stupid? What On Earth are you talking about? Regret saving your life? What are you ON my dad would skin me alive if I had let anything happen to you! And your dad would help him get away with it!”

Ok my conversation was derailed. What the fuck. Why would Eddersons dad care about what happened to me and whether or- huh. I really need to interrogate my father about some things. I stared at him blankly. 

“I- he- What?”

Edward blinked and then sheepishly rubbed a hand against the back of his head. This was somehow the strangest thing that had happened so far. He chuckled nervously at me, waving away my incredulous expression. “Don’t worry about it”

I stared at him and then gathered all my stuff together in a light daze, mind rushing through all the implications. Wasn’t Dr Cullen married?

I meant to leave the room elegantly, or at least in a normal fashion but unfortunately I cannot be allowed to exist at any point and I tripped on my way out the door. I dropped my books. I stared into the middle distance as my thoughts continued to race before sighing and stooping to gather them up. He was already there, books stacked ready to be handed over. He passed them to me.

“Uh. Thanks.” I said

“You’re welcome. Can I- heh. This is um-” wow I had never in my life considered this brat capable of speechlessness. “A favour. Can I ask a favour?”

I stared at him. The balls on this dude.

“You Can Ask.” I practically dared him.

“Forget I said anything. Implied anything. Whatever.”

I continued to stare at him.

“Nevermind.” He muttered before turning away and heading down the corridor. Man today was weird.

I headed to Gym. It was brutal as per. We’d moved onto basketball and thankfully no one ever tried to pass me the ball. I still fell over a lot - occasionally taking people down with me. It was worse than usual because despite his pleas I couldn’t stop thinking about what Edward had said. Just what the fuck was going on there.

It was a relief to leave. I headed to my truck in a daze. Amazingly it had suffered minimal damage in the accident. I knew it was a fighter. Whilst I only had to replace the taillights (and would have contemplated a touch up on the paint job if it had one to speak of) Tyler’s parents had had to sell their van for parts. Ha. Take that. 

I almost had a small stroke when I rounded the corner to see a tall dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I realized it was just Eric. I started walking again.

“Bitch I nearly shat myself” I called out to him as I approached. Normal greetings are for straights.

“Sucks to be you I guess. What’s up. Mike was sniggering at me earlier and he suggested I come talk to you about the spring dance? I thought that was all sorted”

I groaned as I unlocked the door to the Truck. Really? Again?

“Mike sufferers from a terrible disease where he thinks he’s funny though”

“Oh we all have that he isn’t special”

“Too True Eric, Too True. It’s really going to get us in trouble. In fact - if I end up bailing on you guys for the dance to go to Seattle for the weekend, just know the gag was worth it.”

“...What.”

I heaved a dramatic and theatrical breath before recounting Mike's Terrible No-Good impression of a straight man. I regretted it as soon as I saw an evil glint appear in Eric’s eye. 

“Oh no. Nononono. Don’t you Dare!” I hissed at him as a crowd of students began to approach.

“So Bella,” He began, projecting much louder than he needed to, “I was Wondering about your plans for the spring break dance?”

“I hate you”

“Sorry what? I didn’t catch that.”

“I said. I thought it was Ladies Choice Eric.” I gritted at him through my teeth. Somehow I was simultaneously furious with myself for playing along instinctively AGAIN and also finding the entire situation hysterical.

“It is. I was just…… wondering” Eric winked at me. “But then, I hear you have plans”

“Yes. I am going. To Seattle. That Weekend.”

“A R E you now. Interesting. What’s in Seattle?”

Just as I opened my mouth to respond with some equally snarky comment, I heard a familiar low chuckle and paused to watch Edyngue slope past us and head to his car. Huh. What do you call a coincidence if it’s happened twice? Eric and I stood and stared at him after a while before Eric shook his head and chuckled.

“Man. One day, I will understand the Cullen folk.”

“No you won't.”

“Nah. I won’t. See ya later Bella”

Eric waved and walked off back towards the school. What he could possibly have left to do I couldn’t imagine.

I yanked the door to my (t)rusty steed and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I jammed in the keys and revved up the deafening engine, reversing out into the aisle. Finally. Homeward bound. Or at least I was until the fuckin worlds worst penny had the audacity to cut me off from two cars down. He stopped. Maybe he was waiting for his family instead of just being a dick. Maybe, I would get to see Alice. Honestly? Worth the wait every time.

Or at least it would be if there wasn’t a fuckin line beginning to form. I considered ramming into the back of his shiny Volvo but. Two car accidents so close together would be tempting fate - no matter how much I trusted in the indestructibility of my truck. Also; witnesses. The urge grew stronger when I noticed Tyler Crowley was sitting in his newly acquired Sentra directly behind me. And he was waving. Fantastic.

I continued to sit there, doing my best to burn a hole into the back of the stupid fuckin shiny car in front of me, when I heard a knock on my passenger side window. I looked over. Fucking Tyler. Why is he still here? I double checked my rear-view mirror to confirm that yes! His car WAS still behind me, still running, and the door was open. I hoped someone stole it. I stared at him before huffing a breath and leaning over to wind the window half down. At least, half down was as far as I got before I gave up due to its stiffness.

“Hi Tyler. Sorry. I’m stuck behind Copperhead.” I rolled my eyes as if to say “rich boys, can u believe em”. Had any of my local brethren been there, they would’ve also picked up on the hint of “urgh straight ppl am i right” but alas, the subtlety of that particular denotation of eye roll was lost on Tyler.

“Yeah I know. I was just- I wanted to ask you something while we’re trapped here.” He grinned at me. Oh. Oh fuCK NO. 

This could not be happening. At least Mike and Eric were joking!

“Will you ask me to the spring dance?” He looked up at me, like a little hopeful puppy dog.

I sighed.

“First off - thats definitely not what Ladies Choice means. At all. Second - I’m not in town” Shit fuck. Why did I say that?? This was definitely Mike’s fault. And Eric’s. And I was also going to gracefully give Edweener some of the blame because it was HIS FAULT I WAS STILL HERE. I hate him.

“Yeah. I heard.” He admitted

“Wh-. Mike. Mike said that.” I was going to kill him.

“He sure did!”

“Then Tyler. WHY for the Love Of God, Would y-”

“I hoped you were just. Letting him down easy”

My patience abruptly ran out. I am a Lesbian. I didn’t have to sit here and listen to this. If Mike really wanted to play this new fun game of “create straight drama for the lols” than why shouldn’t I run with it. Seattle here I come I guess. 

“Nope! I Really Am Going Out Of Town”

“That’s cool. We still have prom”

I stared at him, mouth agape. The NERVE! Unfortunately before I could get even a splutter of indignation out my little gay mouth he walked away back to his car.

As I turned to look back out my windscreen my ire increased ten fold. All I managed to see of my one and only love for all eternity was the back of her head as she slid into the car with her sibs from different cribs. Bastard had robbed me of an opportunity to see the love of my life. Suddenly I noticed I was being mocked. Mocked from a distance by laughing eyes that cackled into a rearview mirror. It was… almost as if Edinson had heard the entire thing from where he sat. Weird. Still. My foot itched toward the gas pedal and I wondered if I could get away with calling it an accident if I just. Ever so gently bumped into their car. I wouldn't hurt them. Just the paint Job.

Alas I could not risk the wrath of the woman I wuvved. Ugh. Not even alliteration could make that work. Note to self, never say wuvved. They sped away. I drove slowly home muttering to myself the whole way.

When I got home, I decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner - it would take me a long while and occupy my mind and Charlie would love them. Whilst I was simmering the onions and the chilies the phone rang. I considered leaving it but it might’ve been said father. 

It was not. It was Jessica. A Jessica who had clearly been hanging out with Mike. She squealed sarcastically down the phone and then went on one of the most impressive rambles about the delights of being a Straight Girl who had been invited to the Party by the world's Straightest Boy I had ever heard. When she paused for breath I took my chance.

“Jess. Did you write this all down or is this just the most dedicated piece of improvised performance art I’ve ever heard?”

“I mean. I had bullet points? But I’m mostly rambling”

“Wow man. Maybe You SHOULD be straight”

She gasped dramatically in offense.

“Isabella Marie Swan!! How could you? Blasphemy!”

“...How do you know my middle name.”

“I have connections.”

“...”

“Anyway I hear you’re going to Seattle the weekend of the dance?”

“Goodbye Jess” 

I took great pleasure in hanging up on her. I refocused on dinner - concentrating especially hard on the chicken. I was keen to avoid another trip to the ER; even if I was curious about my dad and doctor dreamy. And believe me, I was curious. Super curious. 

My mind lingered over what Edward had accidentally implied earlier. Just how well did Charlie and the doctor know each other. What was going on there. Did my dear ol pa have a crush? Was it reciprocated? What about Edwards mum? God. Also what the fuck did Edward mean we couldn’t be friends. Admittedly he’s a twat but once he manages to get a personality we could be great friends! Maybe he’d seen how I looked at his sister. That would be embarrassing. Then again. Who’s to say he wouldn’t be able to help me get an in. I’d had the thought before in passing but now I took it back out and examined it closer.

That…. That could work actually. First things first though I’d have to work out how to be his friend. I shouldn’t set him up with Mike. Wait did he ever confirm whether or not he was gay? Not sure. Ok so step one would be working out whether or not he was aware of the fact he was sliding up the kinsey scale. Step two would be doing something with that info and then relying on the good old gay pack instinct. Perfect. A Plan. Now I just had to implement it.

I finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

Charlie was thrilled when he came home to yet another edible non-experimental meal that was more than halfway decent for this health. He loved it. It was fun to share this with him and watch as he fully relaxed into trusting me in the kitchen.

“Hey Dad?” I asked when he was almost done.

“Yeah?”

“Uh. Just a heads up that I might be going to Seattle for the day a week from Saturday?”

“Wha- Why? Isn’t that the weekend of the dance? I thought you were going with that Mike kid?”

“Hmm. Maybe. There’s been a bit of-” how to put this… “-cross communication. It’s a bit in the air right now and I may end up just going on a Seattle trip instead”

“I mean. Yeah ok. Why Seattle though?”

“It’s sort of a joke but also I do want to get some new books and maybe some clothes. The library here is pretty small you know?” I also had more money than I was used to given that Charlie had very unexpectedly gotten me the truck and I hadn’t had to pay for it. The gas for it on the other hand...

“Hmm. Makes sense. My only worry would be the mileage on the truck,” he said, unknowingly mirroring my thoughts. He was good like that.

“I know. I’ll stop in Montesano and Olympia - and Tacoma if I have to.”

“Are you going all by yourself?” He asked. I couldn’t tell if he was worried about car trouble or worried I was plotting something.

“That’s the plan”

“Ok. Stay safe. I’d warn you about the dangers of the big city but… I’ve a feeling you know them intimately” He smiled up at me and I felt a rush of warmth that he was taking my life in Phoenix into account.

“I sure do,” I laughed a bit. “ Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle. I won’t get lost either,” I added, waving my phone at him. “I can read maps.”

He nodded at me.

“Smart. Well. Don’t get into trouble I guess.”

I was suddenly suspicious. That had been too easy. As I gathered the dishes and began to head towards the sink I saw Charlie pull out his phone and head out the room. He turned in the doorway just before he left the room and waved it at me

“Hey Bells don’t do all the work without me I just gotta make a quick call”

I nodded at him. Washing up together had somehow become a nightly routine. Still. I wondered who he could possibly be calling at this time of night.

* * *

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I parked as far away from temptation as I could. I didn’t want to owe Edui- Edward a new car. Especially not now I was on a mission to become his friend so I could get to know his sister. Predictably, I fumbled with my key almost immediately and dropped it into a puddle by my feet. Before I could grab it, a white hand flashed out and stole it from under me. Here he was. The biggest twink in the universe. I stood up and threw a glare at him as he leaned casually against my truck.

“You really are the magical appearing genie huh”

“I’m what?” He asked, holding my keys out and dropping them into my palm as I reached out for them.

“You just. Appear. Out of thin air. All the time,” my plan to befriend him was going well. My decided approach was to treat him the exact same way I treat all my friends and lightly bully him. It would be easier. Also he was very bully-able. 

“Bella bella bella. It’s not My fault if you are exceptionally observant.” His voice was just as annoyingly soft spoken as I remembered. Prick. 

I scowled at him and his annoyingly perfect face. His eyes were light again today. They were a deep golden honey colour. Why the fuck was I cursed to keep noticing this shit. Observant my ass. 

“What was up with that traffic jam yesterday?” I poked him in the side. It felt like I stubbed my finger. “I thought you were having a ball pretending I don’t exist, implying things about our fathers and generally not being so blatant about irritating me to death”

“Oh well,” he snickered at me, “that was for Tyler’s sake you know. He seemed to have something to say to you. I had to give him his chance”

“YOU… BASTARD” I gasped out, glaring at him. He snickered harder. I hissed at him.

“Also, I’m not pretending you don’t exist”

“Could’a fuckin fooled me bitch. I do prefer this new approach of trying to irritate me to death over the icey icey silence.”

“...”

“Seriously it’s a skill. You could probably turn a profit on the irritation you can generate.”

He stared at me blankly for a second before opening his mouth to defend the indefensible. I took possibly too much glee in cutting him off.

“Eddie Eddie Eddie,” I snarked at him, echoing his earlier greeting, “you Know I am a Lesbian. I inexplicably told you my life story, remember. You deliberately placing me in the way of a straight man with a crush? That’s a hate crime.”

“You’re absurd”

“Of course I am. I’m Queer.”

“That’s… archaic.”

“You’re archaic. Why are you here, what do you want?” I started to walk away from him towards the school. He followed.

“Oh. Um. I actually had a question to ask you.”

“Oh goodie. Ask away not-friend”

“I was wondering if next saturday-”

“I would go to the dance with you? Haha Edure, very funny.” I gave up on getting his name right to his face. He deserved it.

“Hey! Let me finish!”

I stared him down, raising my eyebrow incredulously at him before gesturing for him to complete his sentence.

“I heard you were going to Seattle that day-” you have got to be fucking kidding me “-and I was wondering if you wanted a ride”

What.

W h a t.

“What?” I stopped walking in shock.

“Do you want a ride to seattle?”

“Dude you’re giving me whiplash”

He stared at me and slowly raised his eyebrow to match mine. We’re both useless. I decided. 

“A ride. With…”

“With me. Obviously”

“What happened to we can't be friends? Did my dad put you up to this?”

“What? No! Why would you think that? This has… almost nothing to do with Charlie.”

I was not going to miss out on an opportunity to befriend the bitch so I could get closer to his angel of a sister. However, I was curious. What the heck was up with this complete 180 in opinion huh. Just the other day he was telling me we couldn’t be friends and now he wants to drive me to Seattle?? No way.

“Why then”

“Well. I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and to be honest, I’m not sure if your truck can make it.”

“GOD you’re insufferable! May I remind you my truck recently won a fight against someone else’s van? It works fine thank you very much.” I turned to head back towards the school. My desire to protect my truck's reputation outweighed my desire to try and make friends with Twinkerbell.

“But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?” He kept matching my pace. 

“Bitch. Why do you care so much? It’s not like it's any of your business.” Stupid fuckin shiny volvo owner. He’s such a little bitch boy.

“The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business.”

I stared at him incredulously. This conversation was really taking some unexpected twists and turns.

“Well. That’s a Terrible Line.”

“...”

“Listen. For reasons known to me, sure fine whatever. I will go to Seattle with you. IF you clear this whole friendship thing up. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend. Now you want to drive me to Seattle? Sure.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to be your friend. I said it would be better if we weren’t.”

“Semantics. That cleared up nothing” At this point we had walked far enough to be under the shelter of the cafeteria roof. I still didn’t know what he was after. He sighed.

“It would be… more prudent, for you to not be my friend”

“Noone says prudent anymore who are you”

“Oh shut up. You’re infuriating. If I have to sit next to you in class I figure it will be… easier if we’re friends. There’s no point in staying away. You’re determined to mock me, might as well be to my face.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about”

“Uh-huh. You know, you really should stay away from me. From us.” I hadn’t said anything about Alice, how did he know my ulterior motive. “I know you won’t though. See you in class Bella.”

He turned abruptly and walked back the way we’d come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i wish i could show yall the messages i send ppl as im writing this theres some summary gems in there such as:
> 
> bella: gets ignored  
bella: "well this is incredibly amusing"
> 
> canon bella (cella): why hello little boy that i never speak to and is a meanie to me,, however do you find urself on this fine day  
this bella (thella): SUP BITCH UR AN ASSHOLE
> 
> bella: im going to seattle for a joke  
charlie, in his head: shes going away ,, away for the day,, its the weekedn, u could go see the cullens,,, time to hang out with carlisle without bella knowing yeas yes go to seattle
> 
> bella: did my dad put u up to this  
edward: no but i have no desire to listen to our dads pine after eachother over dinner and i really need an out and this will give me good boy points
> 
> anyway i nearly just killed tyler crowley cus i couldnt be bothered to deal with his straight nonsense but he was spared because im determined to stick as close to the book as i can.
> 
> also its important that yall know that Jess's contact for knowing bellas middle name is definitely edward who learnt it from charlie when he was bragging to carlisle about his daughter over dinner one night.


	5. Blood Type

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK OK FINE. I'M TIRED. Alice is in this one Let's Go. 
> 
> Edward gets to hang out with the whole gang lucky Edward - they spend far too long in the cafeteria harassing each other, Bella still can't handle blood and idek what what's going on anymore. I get points for trying though surely!
> 
> Merry Midnight sun lads. I have Not Read it but I've seen snippets and I'm willing to bet this Edwards more fun!

I made my way over to English in a state of confusion. I was somehow late and ended up walking into a class that had already started.

“Thank you for joining us, Miss Swan,” Mr Mason said in a disparaging tone. I flushed and hurried to my seat.

It wasn’t until class had ended that I realised Mike wasn’t sitting in his usual chair next to me so I wouldn’t be able to ream him over the whole Seattle thing. I couldn’t wait to tell him about what his meddling little drama hands had done.

Luckily he and Eric met me at the door, self-satisfied grins all over their smug little faces. 

“Hey Bella”   


“Yeah hey Bella”

“Oh Shut Up the pair of you. You have caused Trouble, with a capital T you know that?”

“Awww Bella don’t be so dramatic, you know you love us really” Mike looped his arm around Eric’s shoulders and squeezed so they were both looking innocently up at me. The grin was far too entertained to be convincing.

“Uh-huh.” I said, unconvinced. “Let me tell you two a little tale shall I?” Saying so, I walked directly between the two of them and grabbed them by the ears. As I dragged them behind me on the way down the corridor, I filled them in on the results of their little mission of mischief. Needless to say they were shocked and taken aback.

“Wait let me get this straight. You’re now ACTUALLY abandoning me at the dance to go to Seattle, and Edward Cullen, world’s most introverted poltergeist, has Offered to take you of his own free will?”

“Pretty much yeah.”   


“Damn. Well. Have fun!”   
  
“Michael. You Suck”   
  
“I know!” He grinned at me again whilst Eric sniggered harder. I hate having friends, they suck so much I don’t know what I’d do without them. Mope probably. “Anyway onto more exciting things, did you see the weather report for this weekend?”

“...no?”

“It’s going to stop raining! Apparently… You know what that means!”

With that announcement the conversation very quickly became centred back around the somehow still upcoming beach trip of teenage dreams. Despite my initial… well everything, I was sort of starting to look forward to it. Given everything about everyone involved it was sure to be a time. 

The rest of the morning passed in a blur of shenanigans as I revelled in informing people about what Edyn Coward had said and that yes, I was in fact going to be going to Seattle now. Because I’m incapable of not taking a joke too far and I’m friends with a horrible bunch of enablers.

By the time we reached the cafeteria I was buzzing with anticipation. I was this much closer to befriending Culinary Delight and then I would finally have an in with Alice. Also! I would get to see Alice! It really is the little things in life… I swear, if Eddison had reverted back to the impression of a blank wall he’d been doing for the last few weeks instead of the vaguely friendly pretentious twink he was this morning I’d slap him. As we entered the room, Jessica continued to wax poetic on the subject of me abandoning gays in need to flit off too seattle with a hot young twink. I admit, I had tuned out fairly early on.

He wasn’t fucking there. BASTARD. I was gunna rib him all lunch! Distantly! On the upside, Alice was here looking as beautiful and stunning and ethereal and unachievable as ever. God she’s stunning. Gorgeous. My very subtle longing stares were interrupted by Jess sounding much more than she should be.

“Edward is uh, staring at you. Again.”

“What.”

“He’s staring at you from his loner table. By the way, why is he sitting on his own?”

I followed her gaze to see Edvardas Cold-Hands smirking at me across the room from an empty table. An empty table across the room from where he usually sat with his unfairly attractive family. Fucking weird. Even weirder, once he’d caught my eye he raised a hand and motioned with his index finder for me to join him. I stared at him. He winked at me. I hate him.

“What the fuck Bella”

“I… I don’t know?”

“You should definitely go over there.” Mike said, unhelpfully.

“Yeah maybe we can convince the straight populace that you two are the up and coming power couple.” Eric added, also unhelpfully.

“Maybe I should make him come over here.” I mused out loud, just as helpful as my friends.

“Maybe… though his table IS bigger…” 

“So it is. Guess we’re all going to go over there then”

“Oh this is a group exercise now is it?” Mike raised an eyebrow at me as I started off towards Eduardo the Great Pain In The Ass.

“Sure is.” I threw over my shoulder, not checking to see if they were following.

  
  


I stopped behind the chair across from him and flashed him a smile.

“What’s up rich boy”

He smiled in a way that suggested it was no longer entirely against his will. Interesting. Maybe he was genuine about the friends thing. 

“I was just thinking, why don’t you sit with me today?” 

“Aside from the whole “recently my nemesis” thing? Oh No Reason,” I slid into the seat across from him just as the others finally arrived at the table. “Fair warning that as a Gay I do come as part of a flock though”

“I object to the use of the word flock” Mike said, casually slinging himself into the chair next to Edward. Again. Subtle. 

“You would you great pansy you” Jess threw back at him as she sat more sedately next to me. Mike gasped in fake outrage and pretended to get shot dramatically in the chest. I rolled my eyes at his antics and noticed that Edric was looking more than mildly bemused. My God did this kid Never have friends?

His smile widened and I was struck with the unfortunate reminder that he was actually, objectively, very attractive. Disgusting. I glanced at Mike and judging by his somewhat entranced expression he appeared to be thinking something much the same. Still. Edelio didn’t look like he was going to be saying something anytime soon and the banter quickly died down. I seized the moment.

“So… this is different.”

“Well…” He paused and glanced at my friends as they studiously looked away and faked innocence and deafness incredibly poorly. I sniggered. He sighed and shook his head slightly before seemingly shrugging to himself and pushing through to say the rest of his words in a quick rush. “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

There was a bemused silence as everyone present considered the easiness of the gag and the relative twinkiness of the boy who said it. Unsurprisingly, it was Mike who went for the low-hanging fruit.

“You scared of hanging out with a bunch of gays then Cuticle? Afraid we’ll corrupt your little mormon heart”

Edward choked. On air obviously, he wasn’t even pretending to eat. It was incredibly satisfying.

“I- You- I- WHat? nO? I’m n- I’m not a mormon?”

“Oh its the MORMON part he takes offense too”

“And I’m not homophobic either! God! Why are you all so impossible? SUrely you know Alice would- well…” He sighed and wiped a hand over his face. “I just- I meant- nevermind.”

Wait no, I thought to myself, go back to the bit about Alice skinning you alive for homophobia. Or at least I assume that’s how that was going to finish. EIther way, it was a very interesting tidbit of information I would cling to in the foreseeable future. 

“Man you really don’t make it easy for yourself do you White boy?” Eric snorted at him.

“Apparently not no.”

“Soooooo Edwin, is this little lunch gathering going to be a regular occurrence?” Jess asked leaning across the table.

“Uh. Maybe? Yes?”

“Why now huh? Cus lemme say Eddie-boy, you haven’t always been looking the most friendly in bio it has to be said”   


“Yes thank you Mike you’re very helpful.” I glanced back at Edwuardo. “I am surprised though, Mike does have a point you know…”

“Thank You”

“Shut Up”

“I- I told you earlier. I just, I got tired I guess. Of avoiding you. Or- or staying away or whatever. So I’m giving up. Friends remember?” He was still sort of smiling uneasily but his eyes were serious.

“Giving up huh.”

“Yes - giving up trying to be good I guess. I’m just- I’m going to do what I want now. Lets the chips fall where they may” As he spoke his smile faded. God this boy was clearly Too Hard on himself. Fuck knows what he was on about.

“Okaayyy…. Raise your hand if you didn’t follow that.” Everyone stuck their hands in the hair. Mike went to stand on his chair as well but Jess quickly shut that down. Edward grinned self-deprecatingly enough that I decided to use his real name. I ignored the fact that the smile was a breathtaking one.

“I always say too much when I’m talking to you - that’s one of the problems”

“You literally haven’t said a single thing that makes sense”

“Thankfully not no. I sort of count on it…”

“So Cullen… are we friends now or what” Mike asked, butting in with his usual tact (none).

“Friends…” He appeared to mull it over.

“Any day now” piped up Eric who appeared to be tired of being a quiet observer. Jessica, it seemed, was quite happy to remain on her phone. She was probably texting Angela who was FINALLY back in school. Honestly I didn’t know her very well, she’d gone away pretty soon after I started here but we’d interacted a few times and she was one of Jess’s closest friends. I couldn’t wait for her to rejoin the group.

Twinkie Winkie finally seemed to arrive at a decision. He grinned. “Well. We can try I suppose. But I’m warning you now that, well, I’m not a good friend for you.”

“Oh of course. Don’t worry about it,” said Mike, slapping Edwin’s shoulder and immediately wincing as if he’d hit a rock, “Bella’s not a good friend for me either. Did I tell you about the time she-” 

I rolled my eyes at Ed in sympathy for the plight of Mike only to note he looked… somewhat constipated. 

“I- I don’t think you’re listening to me. Any of you. Especially you Bella I’ve told you more than most. If you’re smart you’ll avoid me”   
  
I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, recalling all the times he had looked down at me. “I think you’ve made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear.”

Eric sniggered whilst Mike started to choke on his drink. Edem winced in what I took as apology. This was confirmed by the apologetic smile that followed it.

“I’ll have you know it’s our Gay RIght to be stupid Edwina and don’t you dare infringe it by asking us to be smart about things” Eric said, thumping his hand into the table for emphasis. “I’m not president of the IQCFFH for nothing!”

“YeAH! I ALWAYS dare to be stupid!” said Mike proudly.

“You don’t dare anything Mike, you just ARE stupid.” I looked at Edward. “Fine it’s agreed. We’ll continue being not very smart and you’ll deign to be called our friend”

“Sure”   


“I refuse to be Stupid but I’m in,” said Jess, placing her phone on the table. “Angela says she’s on her way”

“Nice. Don’t tell her I claimed her title as President of the IQCFFH”

“W- What’s the IQCFFH? I’ve never heard of it” asked Edward, looking even more confused than ever.

I pitied him.

“It’s the Imaginary Queer Club For Forks High. It’s an ongoing gag.”

“Huh.”

“It’s better than the new club I’m founding.”

“Oh I Love that club. I’m co-president” Mike lied   


“No you’re not you’re VP”

“Same thing”

“Is not”   


“Is Too”   


We stared at each other, grinning and refusing to back down until Eddie Eddie Edkin cleared his throat. 

“Uhm. Sorry I- What club would that be?” He said in a somewhat strangled voice - almost as if he already knew the answer and didn’t like it.

“Why the WOEIEC club of course. Or the Wo-ick. Also known as the ‘What On Earth Is Edward Cullen’ club.”

His eyes closed as if he were in pain before he looked to the ceiling as if asking what he had done to deserve the gift of our friendship.

“Uh. Um. Are- are you- What? Have you come to an answer?”

“Unfortunately not no”

“Well… got any theories?”

“Oh LoADs” said Mike excitedly. “We’d have more if the others joined but it’s just me and Bells right now, so.”

“We can’t tell you any of them though sorry” I cut across Mike before he could say anything stupid or embarrassing - which was often his default. “It could negatively influence the investigation.”

“That’s really frustrating you know,” he complained. 

“Noooooooo” I disagreed somewhat sarcastically, “I can’t pOsSiBLY imagine why that would be frustrating at all! Just because someone refuses to tell you what they’re thinking? Whilst they continue to make cryptic little remarks designed specifically to keep you up at night wondering what they could po s s i b l y mean? Why on earth would that be frustrating??”

He grimaced. I didn’t let that stop me.

“Or better! Say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things - saving your life under impossible fucking circumstances one day, to treating you like a pariah the next, and he Never explained any of that either, even after he promised! I imagine that would also be very non-frustrating…”

I stared him down. Mike, Eric and Jessica stared at me which, unfair, don’t think I quite deserved the triple stare but ok.

“Go Off Bella” I heard Jess mutter to herself.

Edman Cuboid blinked at me.

“You… have a bit of a temper don’t you”

“I don’t like double standards.”   


We stared at each other, unsmiling, until Mike suddenly clapped his hands together loudly. 

“Right! That was fun. What should we talk about next?” 

Edward started to snicker inexplicably. 

“What?”

“Nothing sorry. It’s just. Man really?”

Even more inexplicably, Mike flushed. Interesting

“W- How did you even-?” Mike managed to stutter out.

“I’m really good at reading people. They’re like open books to me… or most people are anyway” he said, tilting his head in my direction. I huffed some air out my nose.

“Oh this again. Except me right?”

“Yes. Except you.” Suddenly his mood shifted. He was the world's worst emotional rollercoaster. “I wonder why that is…”

I rolled my eyes. Again. Hanging out with this dude was either going to give me eye strain or make my eyes super buff. What would buff eyeballs look like? I shook my head and took a swig of lemonade - it was all I had purchased for lunch today, being too distracted by Alice and her beautiful hair and her beautiful face and I immediately drifted into thoughts of Alice. 

Man, her brother was annoying but Boy was I hoping for an in. Think of the devil and he shall interrupt your musings on gorgeous ethereal women with eyes that are pools of liquid gold.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“No. You?” I smirked at the empty table in front of him. Never in all my weeks at this school had I seen him eat something. It was a recurring point in the WOEIEC meetings which happened whenever Mike and I could be bothered to lazily throw suggestions at each other. 

“No, I’m not hungry.” He said, suspiciously as if it was part of a larger, private joke I wasn’t privy to.

I exchanged glances with the three amigos. All of them looked as lost as I felt. They also looked about as amused as me. This was great. We should hang out with the great Edburta more often.

“Hey Mr. Curry. Could you do me, well us I guess, a favour?”

Immediately he was wary and full of suspicion. Which sort of makes sense when you remember how many siblings he has God their house must be loud. “That depends on what you want.”

“Oh not much. I was just wondering if you could give us all a heads up next time you decide to drop us like a hot potato or ‘ignore me for my own good’ or whatever bullshit it is you decide to pedal. You know. Just so I’m prepared.”

“Yeah we wouldn’t wanna try and engage you in biology if you’re doing your best impression of a brick wall.”

“That… sounds fair.” He said, pressing his lips together as if trying to keep himself from laughing.

“Good glad that’s sorted.”[

“Can I have an answer in return?”

“Oh boy here we go. Ok sure. You can have one.”

“Tell me one of your theories.”

I stared at him aghast whilst Mike’s face lit up. He was having far too much fun here.

“No. Absolutely not. Mike don’t you dare”

“But Bella-!”

“You didn’t qualify, you just promised me an answer! I’m breaking no rules here” Smarmy fucking bastard.

“Yeah and like you’ve never broken a promise…”

“Just one little teensy weensy theory”   
  
“C’mon Bella please!”

I threw my hands up in the air “Fine! Fine! Compromise the integrity of our investigations! Tell him one theory. I can tell you’re desperate and.. Well… I guess I did say…”

Mike grinned and slapped Edward on the arm again - proving he learnt nothing the first time as he winced again. “I’m going to go with… radioactive spider”

I immediately slumped back in my chair and groaned at the ceiling. “Oh Come On Mike! That was one of the worse ones! We weren’t even being serious when we suggested that!”

Eduardos scoffed. “That’s not very creative”

“Yeah well it’s all your getting pretty boy.”

“Pretty-? What?”

“You said one answer you get one answer there you go, chew on that”

“You’re not even close!” Edward protested and I jumped on the opportunity.

“Quick Mike! Take Note! Edmund himself admits there is something up with Edmund Coward by virtue of our barking up the wrong tree”

“N- I did not!”

“She’s right, mate. You forgot to deny the tree.” Eric mused out loud whilst Mike pretended to write something in an invisible notebook.   


“She’s here!” Jess suddenly jumped out her seat and ran to greet Angela before dragging her over to the table.

“Hi Angela! How was the trip?”

“Good good. Hey this may seem an odd question but why the fuck are we sat with Edward Cullen. Hello Edward”

“Hi”

“Because he’s a twink and we decided it was time they got some representation on the board.” Mike said gleefully. 

“Jesus Mike. You ever looked in a mirror?”

“No I haven’t Eric and I refuse on principle. Anyway Angie, you just got here so quick name Something that could be wrong with Edwin on a ‘he’s weirdly hot and super freaky strong’ sort of basis”

“Uh. Yellow sun?”

Edward scoffed and shook his head. “Kryptonite doesn’t bother me either by the way”

“God you’re all such nerds why am I friends with such nerds? Angela, you were supposed to even it back out! Not side with them!”   
  
“Sorry not sorry Jess. You know me. Can’t resist a good mystery”

“Can none of you leave it alone?” asked an increasingly exasperated Edison.

We all turned to him in sync and the resounding no that met him seemed to take him slightly aback. Oh to have a finger on the group braincell.

“We will figure it out eventually. We gotta. Like monkeys with a typewriter.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t.” He was serious again. Great.

“Any particular reason egghead?”

“W- What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He smiled somewhat playfully but his eyes were impenetrable.

“Sexy.” Said Mike immediately with no pause for thought. He seemed to consider regretting it before tacking on, “Everyone knows villains have a better aesthetic.”

  
  


Whilst everyone else tried hard not to laugh at Edwards astounded face, I sat back and considered, as several of the things he’d hinted at suddenly fell into place. Huh. Wild. Edward noticed my preoccupation.

“Hmm. I may have some files to submit to the board of WOEIEC”

“Do you?” asked Edward. His face abruptly much more severe, as if he were once again afraid that he’d accidentally said too much. He needed to loosen up.

“Oh Yeah. Mike add a tally to the sexy pile cus I reckon Edmundo here is more dangerous than he lets on.”

“And he lets on quite a bit” muttered Eric under his breath. Jess appeared to be unbothered by the dissolving situation as she tried to catch Angela up on what she’d missed in a more comprehensive manner than Mike's admittedly lackluster explanation.

“But I do think you should detract points as well cus this boy isn’t evil. Not in a fun evil way. I think he’s just mopey about it.”

“Like Angel in Buffy?” Mike asked as he diligently pretended to be a secretary taking notes.

“Exactly like that.”

At this point Edwards eyes were as wide as dinner plates and he looked ready to flee. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe that reference was more on the nose than I had thought. I turned it over in my mind but before I could come to any conclusions I was interrupted by a sudden eruption of people standing up.

“We’re going to be late!”

“Oh Shit.”

“What’ve we got? Bio?”

“Fucking Bio.”

“Shit. C’mon then.”

As we all grabbed our shit and turned to leave I noticed that Edwynne was still sitting at the table and looked like he was in no hurry to leave. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not going to class today,” he said, twirling the lid to something in his hand so fast it was just a blur.

“Why not? Decided we can’t be friends again?”

“No it- it’s. It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.” He smiled up at me but his eyes still looked vaguely ‘deer in the headlights’.

“Well. I’m definitely going” I told him and turned to leave with my friends. I was far too big a coward to risk getting caught.

I heard him call out behind me “See you later then!” and I gave him a jaunty wave over my shoulder.

We scuttled through the corridors giggling at a half-run pace. “It’s nice to meet you again by the way Angela” I said as we hurried along. 

She giggled. “You too Bella. Things seem to have gotten pretty interesting since I left.”

“You could definitely say that.” Mike sniggered. There was far too much laughing happening.

We were lucky; Mr Banner wasn’t in the room yet when we got there. Hell yeah scot-free! We scurried into our seats, receiving stares from our classmates. I always forget that other people can perceive us outside our bubble. I wandered what the school populace made of our lunch with Edward. 

Before I could wander too hard, Mr Banner came into the room and called the class to order. He was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mikes table, telling him to start passing them around the class.

“Okay guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box,” he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. As his gloves snapped into place they made a sharp sound which struck me as weirdly ominous. “The first should be an indicator card,” he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. “The second is a four pronged applicator-” he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick, “-and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance but my stomach flipped.

“I’ll be coming around around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.” He began at Mike’s table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. 

“Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet…” He grabbed Mike’s hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike’s middle finger. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead. 

“Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs.” He demonstrated, squeezing Mike’s finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving. “And then apply it to the card,” he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the ringing in my ears.

“The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type.” He sounded proud of himself. “Those of you who aren’t eighteen yet will need a parent’s permission - I have slips at my desk.”

He continued through the room with his water drops. I put my cheek against the cool black tabletop and pondered Edwards skive-alitis this lesson. Seemed awfully well timed. Thank God he wasn’t here to see me make a total fool of myself. All around me I could hear squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers. I breathed in and out slowly through my mouth.

“Bella, are you all right?” Mr Banner asked. He seemed awfully close to my head and sounded rather alarmed.

“Peachy keen Mr Banner. I, I already know my blood type, sir.” I said in a voice weaker than I’d like to admit. I was mildly afraid to raise my head.

“Are you feeling faint?”

I grumbled under my breath before taking in a steadying breath and nodding slightly. “Maybe a little.” I should have fucking skipped this class when I had the chance. I made a note to tell Edward he was a bastard. I didn’t know how but this was definitely his fault.

“Can someone take Bella to the nurse, please?” he called.

I didn’t have to look up to know that it would be Mike who volunteered. I made another note to threaten bodily harm if this ever came up in group conversation. I trusted Angela to keep mum. I did not trust Mike.

“Can you walk?” Mr Banner asked.

“Yeah.” I responded. I refused to be carried or otherwise escorted out the room. I’d leave under my own steam even if I had to crawl. Mike however, was determined to help. He slung his arms around my waist and pulled my arm over his shoulder.

“Ready for our three-legged race Bell?” He asked me, faux-cheerily over his concern.

“Oh shut up Mike.” I muttered to him as I leaned heavily into his side on the way out the classroom.

  
  


Mike towed me slowly across campus, not taking any notice of my warning and continuing to stay stupid things in an effort to get me to smile. I did appreciate the effort but if anyone ever knew that then well… I’d have to kill them. When we were around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building 4 just in case Mr Banner was watching, I stopped.

“I’m just- just let me sit down a hot second would you Mike.”

He helped me sit on the edge of the walk and then immediately sat down with me. I stared at him and he nodded at me.

“Solidarity.”

“Of course”

“It’s the backbone of the gay community Bella. Solidarity.”

“Uh-huh. Well whatever you do… keep your hand in your pocket,” I warned him, thinking about the blood that was undoubtedly still on his finger. I was still pretty dizzy. I slumped over into him pressing my face into the cold damp material of his jacket shoulder and closing my eyes. It helped a little. I considered lying on the colder, damper pavement but I didn’t want to have to get up again.

“Wow, you’re green Bells. Like, actually green. Don’t puke on me.” Mike said, both impressed and nervous at the same time. 

Distantly I thought I could hear melodic voices conversing harshly. I assumed I was imagining it. I assumed that right up to the point where it became clear I wasn’t.

“Bella?” A voice called for me across the distance. It sounded like Bells. Chiming at me, fluttering in the breeze. It was a beautiful sound.

It was followed by a second voice, also melodic but much more familiar and far less welcome. “Oh Christ, here we go.”

If. If the second voice was Admin, then who- oh. Oh Please No. Not now. Not like this. I squeezed my eyes shut harder in an attempt to deny what I hesitantly thought to be true. I added a subheading to my earlier mental note about blaming Eddie for this. He was going to suffer Consequences. 

“Bella? What’s wrong - is she hurt?” She was approaching me. She was concerned about me? She Knew My Name?!? Ohgod this is it this is how I was going to die. I was already too dizzy for this oh god. She even sounded upset! I squeezed my eyes shut harder. I did not want my first interaction with this ethereal goddess above mortal men and women to be when I was green. I’d rather be dead. I hoped to high heaven I wouldn’t throw up.

Mike seemed pretty stressed but also far too amused for my mental well being. The fucker was enjoying himself. Completely uncalled for. “I think she’s fainted. I don’t know what happened; she didn’t even stick her finger. She might need help getting to the nurses office.” I was going to murder him. In cold blood. I could stomach it. 

“Bella.” Why was Edith this close to me? He sounded fairly amused as well which was just not on. I was suffering. “Can you hear me?”

“No. Fuck off Edwump.”

He chuckled. “What about you Mike? Are you doing ok?” 

I was unconvinced by this sudden good will. I would have examined it closer but then Alice crouched down next to me and placed a very cool hand against my forehead and my brain turned off.

“Oh you know me. Anyway, I was supposed to be taking her to the nurse but she won’t go any further and I’m not strong enough” he pouted up at Edward as if in distress. I hate him.

“We can take her can’t we Alice?” Edward said. I could hear him smiling. Gross. “You can go back to class Mike.”

“Excellent, I wanna see if anyone else has passed out.”

“You suck Mike”

“I know! Good luck with the Colourless Cullens Bella! Edmund” He nodded at him in mock respect. “Can’t believe you’re skiving. Maybe you ARE bad after all… See ya.” He grinned cockily before heading back to the classroom. Bother.

There was an awkward pause and it felt as if there was a silent debate happening over my head when suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath me. What the fuck. I drew in a startled breath only to be confronted with the best thing I’ve ever smelt in my life. It was like I’d died. It was some combination of flowers and fresh bread and cut grass and home and warmth all wrapped up in one. I flicked my eyes open. 

I was in the arms of an angel. Safe. Supported. My strong love. My One True Powerful Woman. Wow. She carried me like I weighed nothing. I tried not to sigh in content as I wrapped my arms around her neck. Judging by the snort of laughter I heard from behind me I failed. I did not fail in shooting an evil glare over Alice’s shoulder at my least favourite person. Then again he may have orchestrated some of this. I wouldn’t owe him but maybe I would forgive him some of his sins. Maybe.

The only bad thing about this entire situation was the risk of me vomiting all over her. That. Would be bad. Still. I was willing to milk the opportunity.

“Alice?” God my voice sounded small.

“Hi. Fancy meeting you here.” Oh God she’s funny too. Oh nO.

“I’m sorry.”

She looked down at me and smiled. I swear I passed into the fifth dimension. If my brain had managed to reboot, it was back offline. For some reason Edward started to groan behind us and mutter to himself. I didn’t care enough to confront him. 

“You don’t need to be. You look awful Bella.” God she paid enough attention to know what I look like not gross and faint. Be still my beating heart.

“Thanks. I feel Great.”

She laughed and I could feel myself staring at her. Wow. Just. W o w. She was carrying me like I weighed nothing whilst looking like a member of the fae - ethereal and unattainable. And I made her laugh. Christ. No matter what happened I was never going to recover from this. 

“Soooo Bella.” I heard from behind us and closed my eyes again. “You faint at the sight of blood?”

“Oh leave her alone Edward.”

“Yeah Edward. Leave me alone.” I peered over Alice’s shoulder to stick my tongue out at him. He deserved it. He still seemed far too entertained.

“Not even your own blood”

“Edward!”

I saw him mime zipping his lips shut but his eyes were full with a quite frankly indecent amount of amusement.

I don’t know how she did it, but somehow whilst I was busy trying to get one over her prissy little brother Alice managed to get the door open and maneuver me inside without me noticing. I only realised because it was suddenly warm.

“Oh my,” I heard a female voice gasp.

“She fainted in Biology,” Edward explained, mirth in his voice. At some point I was going to punch him. 

I opened my eyes. I was in the office, and Alice was carrying me (ALICE was Carrying ME) past the front counter towards the nurse’s door. Ms Cope, the redheaded front office receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, astonished as Alice swept into the room and gently placed me on the crackly paper covered brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Edward followed her in and moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright and far too gleeful.

“She’s just a little faint,” he reassured the startled nurse as Alice stopped my heart by brushing a strand of my hair out my eyes before straightening back up. “They’re blood typing in Biology.”

The nurse nodded sagely. “There’s always one.”   
  
Edwarlde didn’t even try to muffle his snicker. Ass. Hole.

“Just lie down for a minute honey; it’ll pass” said the nice nurse who wasn’t a big jerk making fun of sick people.

“I know,” I sighed. The nausea was already fading. 

“Does this happen a lot?” she asked.

“Sometimes,” I admitted grudgingly. Edward let out a half hearted cough that did nothing to hide the fact he was laughing at me again.

“You two can go back to class now,” she told the two of them. On one hand, please no let Alice stay. On the other, please yes fuck off Edward.

“I’m supposed to stay with her.” Alice said, with such assured authority that the Nurse didn’t even question it. She wanted to stay with me? She really cared that much? I had died. I had actually fainted in Bio and hit my head on the table. This wasn’t real. The nurse glanced over at Edward who just grinned at her. She gave up. 

“I’ll go get you some ice for your forehead dear,” she said to me, and then bustled out of the room.

“Guess you were right about one thing Desmund.” I moaned, letting my eyes fall closed. I thought I felt a light touch of a hand on my head but did not want to dispel the illusion.

“I usually am - about what?”

“Ditching class really is healthy sometimes.” I practiced breathing evenly. He chuckled. 

“You scared me for a minute there,” came that musical lilting voice of my beloved. She was sat by my head; maybe it WAS her hand lightly touching my hair. She sounded embarrassed, as if being concerned for my well being was a crime. Given everything about my interactions with her brother who knew, maybe it was. She paused before cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere. “I thought Mike- it is Mike right?”

I nodded slightly and Ed-dead piped up from the corner with an “unfortunately”.

“Well, I thought he was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.”   
  
I cracked a grin. 

“Well I wouldn't put it past him.” Ed muttered from his corner.

“Hey! That’s MY asshole friend you’re talking about.” I was feeling more normal with each passing minute. Maybe soon I would even open my eyes.

“Honestly though Bella,” I was immediately distracted from bickering with Edward by the honeyed voice of my very own guardian angel, “I’ve seen corpses with better colour. I was concerned I might have to avenge your murder…”

“You- you would avenge me?”

She smiled gently at me. “Of course I would”

Edward scoffed again and rolled his eyes. I hoped they fell out of his head. 

“I’d help you kill him Alice”

“Oh Edward, you know I wouldn’t need your help”

My mind started racing. Sexy Lady. Hot. I felt like a computer glitch. She was strong and beautiful and funny and she cared about me. What kind of parallel world…

“How, how did you two find me anyway? I thought you were ditching Edward…?”

They glanced at each other. Multitudes exchanged in a single glance. I wondered why Edward looked so amused whilst Alice looked ready to leap up and tackle him out the doorway at the first provocation. I was almost fine by this point. Possibly, I would feel less queasy quicker if I’d actually eaten something at lunch whoops. I’d been heavily distracted. Then again I hadn’t been sick so maybe I was lucky my stomach was empty.

“I ran into Alice on my way to the car park. She wanted to ask me about wh-”   


“-WHAT TIMe he was thinking of heading off. I figured he would ditch and I was thinking we could spend some time together. I don’t see my littlest brother enough.” She reached out and pinched at his cheeks whilst he swatted at her. 

The interruption seemed strange though. I wandered what she didn’t want him to reveal. The door opened, interrupting my chain of thought and revealing the nurse with a cold compress in her hand.

“Here you go dear,” she lay it across my forehead, “you’re looking much better.” 

“I think I’m fine.” I said, sitting up. There was no spinning, the mint green walls stayed exactly where they should. My ears did ring a little though. I could see that she was about to make me lie back down when the door opened again and Ms Cope stuck her head in.

“We got another one,” she warned.

I hopped down to free up the cot for the next invalid. I handed the compress back to the nurse.

“Here, I don’t need this.”   


And then Mike staggered through the door, still sporting his amused grin but now with an additional sallow-looking Lee Stephens, another boy in our Biology class. The Cullens and I drew back against the wall to give them room.”

“Oh no.” Edward muttered at the same time Alice gasped, “Go out to the office Bella.”

I stared at him. Alice grabbed me by the arm. “Trust us - go.”

I spun and caught the door before it closed, darting out of the small mint room. I could feel the two of them follow out right behind me.

“You actually listened to me” Edward seemed astounded.

“No. I listened to your sister. Anyway I smelled the blood,” I said wrinkling my nose. Lee wasn’t sick from watching other people like me. I’d have been out of there like a shot even without their guidance.

“People can’t smell blood” Edward countered. 

“Shows what you know freak boy. I can. It’s what makes me sick. It smells like rust… and salt.”

The two of them stared at me with unfathomable expressions. Oh No. Did Alice think I was weird now? I was doing so well! I couldn’t have this be the thing that put her off.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.” They said. In sync. Clearly it was something. 

Mike came through the door, glancing between us. Eyes flicking especially between me and Alice. I narrowed my eyes at him. He better not. He grinned guilelessly at me. Mike grins too much. He’s always up to something. It's infuriating when it's me he’s messing with. In any other scenario though, it’s endlessly entertaining.

“Ahhhh Bella. Bella bella bella. You look better.”

“Thanks. Keep your hand in your pocket” I warned him again. 

“Eh. It’s not bleeding anymore. So. What y’going to do Bells? Can’t exactly go back to class can you?”

“Nope. Way this lessons going I’d just have to turn around again.”

“Mmhmm.” He had a glint in his eye and I didn’t trust it one bit. Edward started giggling inexplicably. He was a strange one that boy. Alice elbowed him in the ribs. It didn’t help. In fact it just made him giggle harder. “You know… you should probably give gym a miss too huh. Save up your energy for our Beach trip this weekend.” He winked at me. I had no idea where he was going with this.

“I guess?” 

“Yeah… hey Cullens!” He said grabbing the attention of The Twinkiest Little Engine and his hot older sister as they loitered by the counter poorly pretending to not be listening. Edward was still choking on laughter. “You can drive can’t you?” 

Eddington III waved a thumbs up in our general direction whilst Alice nodded slowly. 

“Cool. So you two are good to work out a way to get her home huh? She’s looking a bit peaky” 

I twigged. The absolute nerve! He was trying to set me up with Alice! I didn’t know whether to punch or kiss him. I was leaning towards punch. I did NOT want to be in a car with Edward and Alice. Nuh-uh.

“She always looks like that but yeah sure why not” Oh good Edington was in.

“We’ll take good care of her” Alice chimed up.

Mike gave Alice a thorough once over and winked “Oh I Bet You Will”   
  
“MICHAEL”   
  
“Alright alright alright. I’m going jeez. Have fun Bells. Don’t forget - we’re meeting at my dad’s store at ten on Saturday”

“I would never. Now skedaddle.”

He fake saluted before spinning on his heel and marching away. 

I turned to my captors and raised an eyebrow. “Jailbreak time?”

“Jailbreak time.” Edward confirmed. “Go sit over there and look Pale, it shouldn't be too hard.” I flipped him the bird as I walked over to take a seat. “Alice, go look concerned. Also shouldn’t be too hard”

“You know Edward. Sometimes, as a little brother, you suck.”   
  
“I always suck Alice”

She snorted. Somehow, she made it look good. That was so unfair. It completely distracted me from how shit Edward’s joke was. She came and sat with me in the creaky folding chairs and gently took my hand in one of hers. My heart stopped yet again. If I wasn’t careful I was going to develop Cardiac Arrhythmia purely from being In Alice’s orbit too much. She should be more careful with the young gays, she could break me easily. It made her even more appealing.

Distantly, I heard Edward speaking softly at the counter.

“Ms Cope?”

“Yes?” I had not heard her return to her desk.

“Bella has Gym next hour, and I don’t think she feels well enough. Actually I was thinking I should probably take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?” His voice was somehow even more nauseatingly appealing than normal. Like Melting honey. He was absolutely going to get his way.

“Do you need to be excused too Edward?” Ms Cope fluttered at him. Bas t a r d.

“No I have Mrs Goff. She won’t mind.” 

“What about you Alice?”

“Uh. Free period.”

“Okay, it’s all taken care of. You feel better Bella.” She called to me. I nodded weakly, hamming it up a little. Just for fun.

“Can you walk or do you need to be carried again?” With his back to the receptionist, his expression became sarcastic. 

“I’ll walk. Thanks.” I stood carefully and luckily, I was still fine. He held the door for me as Alice led me out with her arm looped through mine. His smile was all politeness but his eyes mocked me. As far as I was concerned though, I was still winning. So I didn’t care.

I walked out into the cold, fine mist that hung in the air. It felt nice on my overheated skin, washing off the sticky perspiration.

“Ahhh Freedom.” 

We headed to the parking lot. However, as I veered left towards my truck something caught my jacket and yanked me back. It was Alice looking concerned whilst Edward stared at the heavens behind her.

“Where are you going?”   
  
I was confused. “I’m… going home?”

“But we- we-”   
  
“I think what Alice is trying to say Bella is that we promised we would take you safely home. And so we will.”

“Did you think I would just let you drive in your condition?” 

God she cared so much. I loved her. She was staring at me with eyes made of gold topaz. I was entranced. She could kill me and I’d thank her for it.

“No?”

“No. I wouldn’t. You’re- you’re going to be important Bella” she said with a far off look in her eye. I glanced at Edward for answers. He appeared to have none.

“Wh- what about my truck?” I complained. 

“Well. After we drop you home, we can go back for it and then Alice can bring it back”

“Oh Alice can? Can she?”

“Yes. She can. In fact she wants to because-”   


“Ok Yes Fine. She can. Mike is a terrible influence on you.”   


“I hung out with him once!”

“And once, was enough.”

I watched them bicker like it was a tennis match. It was nice to know that even these supernatural supermodels bullied each other like real siblings. I spared a second of sympathy for their parents. I couldn’t imagine how loud their house was. As an only child, my knowledge of sibling dynamics outside of fiction was limited.

“Um. Should we- should we go?” I asked.

“Yes. Yes of course sorry. I’m usually much better at ignoring him I promise.” Alice smiled apologetically at me. My eyes stopped working.

“Don’t worry about it” I managed to choke out as we all headed towards Edward’s volvo.

When we reached the volvo Edward got into the driver's seat immediately with a short “It’s open”.

Alice opened the door to the back for me and ushered me in before, to my great surprise, following me into the back. 

“Uh. Hi.”

“Hi.”

Edward sighed loudly in the front. Alice kicked his chair. “Whoops.”

“All aboard the Cullen Express,” said Edward fake cheerily from the front as he started the engine. “My name is Edward Anthony Cullen and I will be your chauffeur this afternoon-”

“-oh shut up and drive already.”

He grinned and started to pull out of the parking lot, fiddling with the controls as he did so. I was considering launching into a heartfelt speech about how unnecessary this all was and how I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself but I was distracted by the low buzz under my skin that was busy informing me how close Alice’s hand was to mine. 

I know. I’m Useless. It’s genetic sue me.

Silence reigned supreme as Edwardio did something with the radio. Then, the sounds of Clair de Lune started to filter out the speakers. It threw me slightly. It threw me a lot more when Alice closed her eyes and began to hum along whilst Edward swayed to it.

“You guys listen to Debussy?”

“You know Debussy?” Alice asked, sounding just as thrown as I was. Edward glanced into the rearview mirror and made eye contact, looking just as surprised as his sister. 

“Not hugely well,” I admitted. “My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house. I only really know my favourites”

“This is one of my favourites too!” Alice enthused. Edward nodded in agreement. The Cullens are fans of classical. Who'da thunk? (Everyone, everyone would've thought that).

We all relaxed into the music, it was impossible not to respond to the familiar soothing melody. Exhaustion began to sink into my bones. Boy can fainting fits really take it out of a girl. It was comfortable. Nice. 

The rain blurred everything outside the window into grey and green smudges. I began to realise that we were driving very fast. Between the warmth in my chest for existing peacefully in Alice’s space and the steady, even movement of the car it was impossible to feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.

“Hey Bella? I was wondering… What’s your mother like?” Alice asked into the silence. I looked over to see her studying me with curious eyes. 

“She looks a lot like me, but she’s prettier,” I said. She raised her eyebrows at me in what seemed like disbelief. That was nice. “I have too much Charlie in me. She’s more outgoing than I am, and braver. She’s irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she’s a very… unpredictable cook” I said with a rueful smile. “She’s my mom you know. I love her.”

“Just for the record,” Edward piped up from the front, “I like Charlie. Most of the time. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of Charlie.”

“Hear hear.” agreed Alice. Silence hung in the air before Alice very hesitantly asked, “how old are you Bella?” 

She sounded confused. I couldn’t think why. I absently noticed Edward had stopped the car. I was home. The rain was so heavy I could barely see the house - it was as if the car was submerged in a river.

“I’m seventeen?” I responded, uncertainly. It was the right answer but I was suddenly afraid it was the wrong one. 

“You- you don’t always seem 17”

I laughed a little bit, and at her curious look I explained. “My mom always says that I was born 35 years old and that I just get more middle-aged every year.” I laughed a bit more and then sighed. “Well, someone had to be the adult.” I paused for a second. “Neither of you two really seem like you should be in highschool either you know. Especially you Edward, you don’t seem like any other junior I’ve met.”

He stuck his tongue out at me and changed the subject.

“So, why did your mother marry Phil?”

I was surprised he remembered that. I’d mentioned it once two months ago. The question knocked me off balance a little bit and it took me a moment to answer. 

“My mother… She's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she’s crazy about him.” I shrugged and shook my head. The attraction was a mystery to me. 

“Do you approve?” Alice asked quietly.

“Does it matter?” I countered. “I want her to be happy… and he is who she wants.”   


“That’s very mature of you. Generous even… I wonder…” he mused.

“What?” 

“Edward!”

“I’m just saying! Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?” He was suddenly thoughtful, eyes flicking between me and Alice. I frowned. Alice reached out and smacked him lightly on the arm.

“I-I think so,” I stuttered. “But she’s the parent. It’s a little different.”

“No one too scary then,” he teased, eyes inexplicably flicking back to Alice again. What did he Know. Was he teasing me? Her? If he was teasing her then how?

I grinned at him. “Define scary” 

I considered getting out of the car before he could answer. Unfortunately it was still absolutely tipping it down and I really didn’t want to. He seemed to consider it heavily before shrugging.

“I don’t know. I mean. Do you think I could be scary? Or Alice? Do you think Alice could be scary?

“Edward.” Alice really knew a lot of ways to say his name. The privileges of being a sibling I guess. 

I thought about it for a moment. Debating between truth and lie. Thinking about how easily Alice had swung me in her arms and the coolness of their skin. The pointed remarks Edwin was so fond of making. I decided to go with the truth. “I think.. You could be if you wanted to be. Both of you.”

Edward's playful smile vanished. “Are you frightened now?” Alice’s head slammed into the back of his chair next to me as she huffed out in what I assumed was exasperation.

I snorted a little. “No.” I paused and then steamrolled forwards. “So, now are you going to tell me about your family? It’s got to be a much more interesting story than mine.”

Slowly Alice sat back up. Edwan seemed much more cautious. Wild. Why on Earth were this family so damned secretive. 

“What do you want to know?”

“The Cullens adopted you right? Both of you?” I verified.

“Yeah”   


“Yes”

I hesitated. “Wh- what happened to your parents.”

They exchanged glances before Edward answered. “We’re both orphans, our parents died.”

“But it was many years ago! For both of us…”

“I’m sorry”

“No, it's ok,” Alice smiled gently at me. 

“I don’t really remember them that clearly,” said Edward. “Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now.”

“Same for me”

“And you love them.” It wasn’t a question. It was obvious in the way they spoke about them. They nodded back at me.

“Yes,” Alice smiled at me. Again. God that was distracting. “I couldn’t imagine two better people.”

“You’re both very lucky”

“We are.”

“And the rest of your siblings?”   
  
Edward suddenly turned to look at the clock on the dashboard. “Uh-oh. Our siblings, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, are probably going to be mad with me if they have to stand in the rain waiting for us.”

“Oh God”

“Sorry, guess you have to go” I really didn’t want to go in the rain. I wanted to keep sitting by Alice. 

“Yep. And we should probably get your truck back before Charlie gets home. That way you won’t have to tell him about the Biology incident.”

I laughed self-deprecatingly. “I’m sure he already knows. There are no secrets in Forks.” I sighed dramatically, ensuring I made eye contact with Edward as I did so.

He laughed but there was definitely an edge to it. “Have fun at the beach Bella. Good weather for sunbathing” He gestured to the sheeting rain. Unbelievable the gall of this man.

“Will I see you at lunch tomorrow? Either of you?” I said, trying not to sound too hopeful . 

“No sorry. We’re starting the weekend early.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah we’re going hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier. With Emmett and the others.”   


I remembered Charlie had said that the Cullens went camping frequently. “Ooh. Well have fun!”

He repressed a smile and opened his mouth. I already wasn’t impressed. “Will you do something for me this weekend?” 

Beside me Alice was shaking her head slowly as I stared at him incredulously. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Seeing as how you seem to attract accidents like a magnet, do you think you could try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything?” He smiled guilelessly at me. If I didn’t know better I’d think he’d learnt it from Mike. I glared at him

“I’ll see what I can do.” I snapped out. Before I could jump out the car into the rain and slam the door I was halted by a gentle touch on my arm. 

“Please Bella. Stay Safe.” I couldn’t refuse Alice a single thing. I nodded dazedly before grabbing my bag and stumbling into the rain. 

As they drove away, I watched Alice slide into the front seat and cuff a cackling Edward round the head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers Commentary Highlights for this chapter include:
> 
> "what the fuck is a british swear, which ones are america?? I know they cant say bollocks bugger balls or bloody. God why do they all start with B"
> 
> writing extra characters into scenes is really gunna fuck up the plot later  
we'll burn that bridge when we get to it
> 
> btw alice was arguing or whatever with edward cus she thinks that hes sitting with bella to wind her up cus she knows that he knows that she (alice) likes her (bella)
> 
> i swear to god if u bring not-twilight into the twilight zone! don't make me bring the jack whitehall tweet back
> 
> book mike: gets jealous and says he'll see bella in gym  
this mike: sets up the whole alice and edward drive bella home thing and shoos her off with a "dont do anything i wouldnt do!"
> 
> "This Chapter is rated NMD - Needs More Dads"
> 
> "Fuck what's an only child how do they exist?" (I am one of four)
> 
> "Debussy saves cus if Mike finds out he'll have a field day"
> 
> "ITS 9577 WORDS THIS CHAPTER FUCK OFF IS IT NEARLY 10,000 WORDS"
> 
> Anyway shout out to my friends for supporting this nonsense, taking polls when i cant make decisions, and spellchecking for me when i type youtube instead of young.
> 
> Comments and kudos are my bloodlife man y'all rly encourage this nonsense u know


	6. Scary Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its La Push Babeyyyy!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man lemme tell you. Never did I ever in my entire life. Wanted to do this much research for a fic but hoo boy. I was thinking about how racist and bad and no good smeyers stealing and appropriation of the quileute tribes everything and just herughghh gross i didnt want to copy that so uhhh i did my best
> 
> donate to the move to higher ground project here: https://mthg.org/

As I tried and failed to concentrate a single iota of my only brain cell on the third act of Macbeth, I strained at my ears, desperately listening out for my truck. I would have thought that, given the noise my beloved vehicle makes, I could have heard the engine roar at me over the sounds of the pouring rain. But when I went to peek out the curtain for the 60th time, it was suddenly there. And I didn’t get to see Alice again. Tragic.

I was wary of Friday. You don’t have a friend group like mine and get away with passing out in class. Mike continued to be the worst and kept asking me about my “ride” whilst wiggling his eyebrows at me whilst Jess unhelpfully giggled in the corner. 

As we headed to the cafeteria, speculation about yesterday’s lunch ran wild. 

“Man, eating with the edgelord yesterday huh. That was an experience” Mike grinned back at us all as he walked ahead of us, backwards through the corridors.

“Yeah sorry no one caught me up, why did that happen?” asked Angela.

“Oh Edwina wanted to talk to Bella about something and we all followed her over like lemmings,” answered Jess as she slung her arm around her shoulders. Angela looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh I don’t even know man. Some bullshit about being friends with me now and also that he’s a DC villain it was hard to follow.”

“Fun though. I wonder if we’ll sit with him again…” Mike asked, a little too eagerly to be completely innocent. 

I shook my head as we entered the cafeteria, already knowing the answer. “Alas, alack Michael. He is Away. He is Away Hiking with his Beautiful sister and-”

I was cut off by Jess. “Well they aren’t all away at least. I see Cowboy McGee and Rosa-peg-me are still here.”

I glanced over to see that yes in fact, both Jasper and Rosalie were still here, sitting at their normal table, talking with their heads close together. I was glad that my terrible habit of nicknaming the Cullens seemed to be contagious but still filled with a rising gloom that I had no way of knowing how long it would be until I was blessed by the presence of my one true love once more.

We settled around our usual table, mourning the loss of our newest punching bag, and began to discuss the weekend plans. Mike was animated as usual and putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who promised sun tomorrow. I did not believe it for one rainy Forks second but it’s nice to have hope sometimes. It WAS warmer today after all - almost sixty. Maybe, it wouldn't be mizzly after all. 

That night at dinner, Charlie seemed… weirdly enthusiastic about my trip to La Push in the morning. I think he felt guilty for leaving me alone on the weekends, but lord knows that man did not have many free hours at his job “only competent policeman in Forks” and I didn’t begrudge him the few he spent doing things with his friends. Though he had been making a clear effort to alter his routines for me and I respected that. 

His guilt wasn’t enough to avoid making me brush up on the reservations rules though. It was probably smart, I knew that often etiquette at differing indigenous regions can really vary place to place and I didn’t want to be disrespectful through sheer white ignorance when I could avoid it. Upon some basic research it seemed easy enough to respect the tribe's cultural inheritance - all I had to do was read the signs, be respectful, ask about photographs, and leave the beaches alone. Made sense. Really did not want Billy to ring my dad and tell him I was acting like a colonist.

Of course, Charlie wanted to go over the trip details in full with me and he knew everyone. He knew the names of all the kids going and their parents and he probably knew their grandparents too. I wondered if it made his job as Sheriff easier or not. Luckily he seemed to approve of them all. I wondered what he would think of my going to Seattle with Edwardo. I considered telling him about it but ultimately, could not be bothered. I’d save that bomb for later. Maybe.

“Dad, do you know a place called Goat Rocks or something like that? I think it’s south of Mount Rainier,” I asked, super casually and not at all thinking about Alice dressed up in Lebian Flannel to go hiking. She would never, she was too fashionable. God I wondered what she would wear…

“Yeah, why?”

I shrugged. “Some kids were talking about camping there.”

“It’s not a very good place for camping.” He sounded surprised. “Too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season.”

“Huh.” I murmured, thinking about Eddie Edison's weird behaviour literally every time we hung out. “Maybe I got the name wrong.”

I meant to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. I opened my eyes to see… sun? Sunlight?? Clear yellow light streaming through my window??? I could not believe it. No way. I hurried to the window to check and, sure enough, there it was. The Sun. It was possibly, too low down in the sky and wasn’t as close as I was used to but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon but I could definitely see a large patch of blue visible in the middle. I lingered by the window, irrationally afraid that if I turned my back for even a hot second the blue would disappear again.

The Newton’s Olympic Outfitters store was just north of town. I’d seen the store, but I’d never really stopped there. I didn’t tend to have much need for any supplies required for being outdoors for an extended period of time. In the parking lot I recognized Mike’s Surburban On Sight. I breathed a sigh of relief that Tyler and his stupid sentra wasn’t there. As I pulled up, I could see the group standing in front of Mike’s car. My little local pack of gays. All 4 of them. I loved my little queer group. Eric, Jess, Angie, and of course, Mike himself. I got out the car.

“WAHEYYYYY THEEREE SHHEE ISSSS!!” Mike yelled with no consideration for anyone who might want to make it through the day without having to listen to a Newtonic yell. 

“You KNEW I was coming” I responded, jabbing him in the ribs as he came over and attempted to hug me like a big labrador puppy. 

“Yeah yeah yeah. Right,” he said clapping his hands together. “That’s everyone”

“What, all 5 of us?” Jess snarked at him from where she was propped up against Angela. 

“Don’t forget Jess,” Eric said, leaning over, “We are the Popular Gays”

“Bitch no one knows we’re gay”   
  
“Ah, the curse of heteronormativity. If only our peers had brains…”   
  
“Wait guys, who are the UNpopular gays??” Mike said, looking adorably confused.

“Edward.” said everybody, in sync. I love it when we all have a finger on the brain cell. 

“Let’s roll out then.”

“What are we, autobots?”

“Oh Shut Up Eric”

We all piled into Mike’s car. Carbon footprint and all that jazz. It was a measly fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quillayute River snaking beneath it twice. I was glad I had the window seat. It was so pretty and so very different from Phoenix.

We rolled the windows down and blasted some tunes as we rode along. I tried to absorb as much sunlight as possible. 

I’d been to the beaches around La Push many times before during my Forks summers with Charlie. It had been a long while but the mile-long crescent of First Beach was still familiar to me and it was as breathtaking as ever. The water was a dark grey, even in the sunlight, the waves were white-capped and heaving to the matching grey rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbour waters with sheer cliff sides stretching up to uneven summits. They were crowned with austere, soaring fir trees. 

The beach only had a thin border of actual sand right at the water’s edge. After that it grew into millions of large smooth stones that looked uniformly grey from a distance but up close were astonishingly unique. Each stone was a different shade and they were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue grey, dull gold. I quelled the urge to reach down and pick up some of the smaller ones up; it was against the reservation’s carefully pleaded etiquette guides. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves. 

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. The clouds continued to circle the sky, threatening to invade at any moment. Luckily, the sun shone on bravely in its halo of blue sky. For now. 

We picked our way down to the beach carefully - Mike leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that clearly marked out a pre-existing fire ring. It was full of black ashes, having clearly been used before for parties like ours. Though undoubtedly less gay. We quickly spread out to look for driftwood. I was well aware that not only were we only allowed to burn driftwood but that we weren’t supposed to gather from the forested areas so we scavenged like vultures for the driest bits we could find on the beach. Soon, we had a teepee-shaped construction built atop the old cinders. 

“Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?” Mike asked me. I was sitting on one of the bone-coloured benches; Angela and Jess huddled up next to me gently poking fun at Eric across the campfire. Mike kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter. 

“I don’t think so,” I said, as he placed the blazing twig carefully against the teepee.

“You’ll like this then - watch the colours.” He lit another small branch and laid it alongside the first. The flames quickly started to lick up the dry wood.

“Hey Newton! That flames nearly as much as you do!” Eric hollered from his log.

“OI!” Mike yelled and reached out to shove him off it backwards. I was too busy staring at the fire to acknowledge their antics. 

“It’s blue!” I said in surprise.

“Yep” 

“The salt does it,” Angela explained, whilst Jess rolled her eyes at the boys scrapping on the rocks. “Pretty isn’t it.” She leaned down and picked up Mike’s abandoned fire-kit, lighting one more piece and placing it where the fire hadn’t caught yet before returning to the log. I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle towards the sky. The boys settled back down quickly and we immediately began to chat shit about the straightness of our classmates. God I couldn’t stand being heterosexual. 

After about half an hour, Mike’s Hyperactive part of his ADHD fully kicked in and he leapt to his feet declaring a crippling need to hike to the nearby tidal pools. Fuck yes. I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was a child; they were one of the main things I looked forward to when I came to Forks. On the other hand… I did also have a tendency to fall into them… a lot… Not so much a big deal when you’re seven and with your dad. I was suddenly reminded of Edinsword’s parting jab at me the last time I saw him. I considered falling into one to spite him.

We put it to the group. We clearly had to all stay together as we are pack animals, so it was lucky that everybody actually wanted to go. Perfect. Democracy for the win. Or it would have been if Angela didn’t have her finger on the brain cell at all times and pointed out we couldn’t really leave the food and the fire unattended. After a quick council session it was decided that Angela and Eric would stay to guard the fire and Jess and I would take Mike for a walk.

The hike wasn’t too long but did have the unfortunate side effect of losing the sky in the woods. The green light of the forest was beautiful and wildly at odds with the amount of inappropriate banter going on. It was too murky and ominous for the amount of cackling that was happening around us. Knowing me as I do, I took care to watch my every step with eagle eyes; desperate to avoid both the roots beneath my feet and the branches above my head. It’s a good thing we like to stick together because I had no doubts that with any other group I would have quickly fallen behind. It’s nice to have reminders every now and then of how good the friend group I’d found here was. Jess noticed me struggling and looped her arm through mine, further proving my point to myself. I smiled at her. 

Eventually, we broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never fully emptied sat, teeming with life. 

I made sure to be very cautious not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. Jess and Mike were far less cautious. One might go so far as to say they were fearless. They leapt over the rocks and perched precariously on the edges, pointing and laughing and Jess could often be heard comparing Mike to the various sea-creatures she could see. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and sat there cautiously, spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. 

Bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried around the edges - I assumed there were crabs hidden within and they weren’t just haunted. Starfish were stuck motionless to the rocks and also to each other. An eel, a small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.

I was almost completely absorbed. Unfortunately there was a small part of my stupid lesbian brain that couldn’t help but wonder about Alice. What was she up to now? What would she be saying if she were with me?

After some time, we got hungry. It was sort of inevitable. We gathered and left - I tried to go slightly faster on the way back and it was a good thing Jess immediately took a hold of my arm because I nearly face-planted several times. 

When we got back to First Beach, it became immediately clear that Eric and Angela had guests. A large amount of guests. A “we are outnumbered now” amount of guests. Damn. As we got closer we could see the shining straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers; teenagers from the reservation come to socialise. 

Eric had clearly had the same thought as we had. He was already unpacking and beginning to hand out food - we sped up to claim a share. Angela introduced us as we each crossed over into the circle of driftwood. I was heading up the back of the trio and as Angela said my name I noticed a younger boy sitting on the stones near the fire glance up at me in interest. I sat down next to Angela, and Mike brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to choose from. We’d really overpacked for the four of us but that was turning out to be a good thing. Whilst I took my food, a boy who looked to be the oldest of the visitors rattled off the names of the seven others with him. Apparently the boy who’d noticed me was Jacob. Familiar but I couldn’t place it.

I focused on my food. Angela is a very chilled out person so, thankfully, she didn’t feel the need to fill every silence with chatter - leaving me free to consume my food in peace. Not that I don’t love a good chat but, I found my thoughts turning inwards. It seemed to me that time in Forks seemed to flow rather disjointedly, passing me by in a blur at times with only single images standing out more clearly than others. Yet, at other times, every second was significant. Etched into my mind. I deliberately didn’t think about any connections between those times and the time I spent in the presence of my only one. 

During lunch, the clouds finally started to advance. It was only a matter of time. They darted across the sun, slinking across the blue sky and casting long shadows across the beach. The ocean itself darkened. 

Once they’d finished eating, Eric and Mike “Can’t Sit Still” Newton decided it was time to make the bestest of friends out of some of the visiting teens and immediately started roughhousing with them - running around like loonies and trying to skim rocks on the choppt surface of the sea. Jess and Anglea decided to head up to the village shop, they asked if I wanted to go along but I was enjoying the vibes and declined, leaving me alone on my driftwood log with the three remaining teenagers from the reservation who were perched around the circle; one of whom was Jacob.

A few minutes after they left, he sauntered over to take her place by my side.

He looked about fourteen, maybe fifteen, and had long glossy obsidian hair pulled back with a rubber band at the nape of his neck. His skin was russet coloured and far too smooth for someone who looked fifteen; his eyes were dark and set deep above the high planes of his cheekbones. Clearly this boy had been blessed with good genetics. Unfair. I found myself once again thanking the Lord that I was a lesbian - a girl could get into some serious love triangles being straight in this town. Far too many pretty men. Must be something in the water. 

Unfortunately for him, he ruined my positive opinion of his looks with the first words out of him mouth. 

“You’re Bella Swan aren’t you?”

I immediately had war flashbacks to my first day at school.

“...depends who’s asking…”

“I’m Jacob Black,” he said, sticking his hand out in a friendly gesture. “You bought my dad’s truck.”

“Oh!” I said, relieved, shaking his hand. “You’re Billy’s kid right? I should… probably remember you”

“Well, I’m the youngest of the family. And I changed a Lot recently… you would probably remember my older sisters though.”

“Rachel and Rebecca,” I suddenly recalled. Charlie and Billy had conspired to make us all friends a lot when I was younger. We didn’t have much in common though; what with me being a closested young gay. I’d tended to hang out with their younger sister, she was only a year younger than me and we’d gotten along like a h- 

“Huh. How old are you Jacob?”   
  
“What?” I’m- I’m 16? Why?”

I grinned as the final piece of the puzzle slid into place. “I DO remember you!”

He grinned at me sheepishly but with a nervous energy that I could not be doing with. “Surprise?”

I punched him in the arm. It seemed like the right response. “Now things are clearer. I knew there was a Reason I liked you even when you were an annoying little brat.”

“HEY!”

I grinned at him. “Good to meet the T to my L Jacob. If we still had Jess here we could have a whole sandwich.”   
  
“...sandwich?”

“BLT Baby. BLT. So where are your sisters now anyway?”

“Oh uh,” He seemed dazed but I was confident he’d shake it off. “Rachel got a Scholarship to Washington State, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer - she lives in Hawaii now…

“Married? Wow.” I was stunned. The twins were only a little over a year older than I was and I couldn’t see myself getting married in any kind of hurry. Mostly because it wasn’t even legal yet. 

“So how do you like the truck?” he asked.

“I love it! It runs great.”

“Yeah, but it’s really slow,” he laughed. “I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn’t let me work on building another car when we had a perfectly good one here.”

“Hey! That’s my Lesbian Trophy you’re talking about there! And it’s not That Slow…”

“Have you tried to go over sixty?”

“...no” I admitted.

“Good,” he grinned. “Don’t.”

I couldn’t help but grin back at him. I’d sort of missed my pseudo sibling. I’d never really thought about it much (I’m a pro at compartmentalising) but it was nice to talk to him again. “It does great in a collision,” I offered in my truck’s defense.

He laughed again. “Well you’re not wrong there… I don’t think a Tank would be capable of taking out that old monster.”

“Absolutely not. Also wait, you build cars? How did I miss that?”

“Yeah! When I have the spare time, and parts… You wouldn’t happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?” he added jokingly, smirking knowingly at me. He knew I didn’t know what that was.

I shook my head at him. “Sorry haven’t seen any lately, but I’ll let you know if I do.” If I sounded sarcastic it’s because I was. 

We sat in comfortable silence for a while watching the boys tussle by the shore when a figure started to sprint back towards us before collapsing on the floor. It was Mike. Because of course it was. 

“Hi Mike.”

“Hey Bells” He panted from where he lay on the floor. “I was just-” He paused to suck in a lungful of hair and held a finger up at me as if telling me to wait. I rolled my eyes at him and heard Jacob snicker.

“Oh no Please. Take your time”

“I was just saying-” he sucked in some more air, “-oh hi Jacob- I was just saying to Eric, and thought I should come and poke fun at you about it”

I stared at him as he lay on the very solid and rocky ground at my feet. “You were saying What to Eric?”

“Oh! About the Cullens! We were talking about our new bestie best of all besties and I got to thinking about Alice and I was just- I was just saying-”

“You better be careful what you were saying Michaelmas I won't hesitate.”

He grinned up at me unrepentantly. “I was just saying it was Too Bad neither of them could come! Didn’t anyone think to invite them?”

I hated him.

“I hate him,” I said, turning to look at Jacob who just chuckled at my predicament. I considered pushing him off the bench before shrugging internally. I pushed him off the bench.

“Do you mean Dr Carlisle Cullen’s family?” the tall older boy asked before I could respond. Upon second consideration he seemed closer to a man than a boy. His voice was Surprisingly deep. 

“Them’s be they, aye” Mike confirmed, finally getting to his knees and making a semblance of an attempt to get up. 

“The Cullens don’t come here.”

Alright. Abrupt much? He turned away after speaking as if signalling the end of a conversation. Mike turned to stare at me as if to say ‘wow can you believe this guy? Opening a can of worms like that and then just leaving them to escape?’. Mike can say a lot with a stare. I shrugged at him slightly. 

I glanced back at the deep-voiced boy-man but he was staring dramatically off into the dark forest. The Cullens didn’t come here. The way he’d said it made it seem a lot less optional on their parts - almost as if they were banned specifically. I wondered what they’d done to deserve it. 

Jacob cleared his throat slightly as if to try and shift the now weird atmosphere. “Sooo… is Forks driving you insane yet?”

“Oh I’d say that’s an understatement.” I grinned poking at a hunched over Mike with my shoe. “But it has its perks” I said, still Not Thinking about Alice. He grinned back at me understandingly. 

“I get you”

Part of my brain was still turning over the brief comment on the Cullens when I was hit by the realisation that I was an idiot. Time to fully adopt the baby brother into the fold. Maybe we could even make him an honorary member of both the IQCFFH and the WOEIEC. Surely that was incentive enough for anyone.

“Hey. Hey Jacob”

“Mmm?”

“Do you like conspiracy theories?”

“Uh- yeah?”

“Great! Come for a walk with Mike and I.” Subtlety is my middle name.

“Who said Mike was coming?!” exclaimed Mike, finally managing to straighten back up again. 

“I did.”

“Oh fair enough then.”

We all got up and ambled off towards the shoreline. As we walked north across the multihued stones toward the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally closed ranks across the sky. The sea darkened further and the temperature dropped. Instantly I was cold and had to hunch over, shoving my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket. 

“So Jakey-boy,” I said casually, “How’d you like to be a member of the WOEIEC club?”

“Really?” asked Mike incredulously. “We on-”

“Shut up Mike.”

“Shutting.”

“Wh- What’s the WOEIEC?”

“It’s the What on Earth is Edward Cullen club of course,” I said grinning disarmingly.

“Gay?” Mike offered blithely from the side.

“Well OBVIOUSLY he’s Gay.”

Jacob just stared at me blankly. I sighed. 

“Who was that kid. The deep-voiced dude?”

“Who Sam? He’s uh- He’s Sam. He’s nineteen…”

“Uh-huh. And what was he saying about The Cullens?”

“That they’re- oh. That they’re not supposed to come onto the reservation.” At this point, bizarrely enough, he looked away, out towards James Island. Suspicious behaviour much? It definitely confirmed whatever it was in Sam’s voice that set me off. 

“Why?”

“What?”   
  
“Why aren’t they allowed on the reservation.”

He glanced at me and then Mike, looking uncertain. “I’m not supposed to say anything about that”

“Not even to big sister Bella?” I asked guilelessly. Or at least, I was aiming for guileless.I had no idea if I was hitting my mark but Mike was stifling sniggers so maybe not. I would’ve thumped him but he was out of reach. 

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me.

“Aw c’mon! We won’t tell anyone! I just wanna know if any of our top three WOEIEC theories are right and this might be crucial information!”

“Bella.”

“I know I know. Keep your secrets. I won’t tell anyone though!”

He sighed. I watched him visibly cave. So did Mike, judging by the fist pumping happening in the background.

“Do- Do you like scary stories?” He asked, somewhat ominously. 

“Sure”

“Absolutely not”   
  
“Shut UP Mike”

Jacob strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like a large spindly albino spider. He perched lightly on one of the twisted roots whilst MIke and I settled beneath him on the body of the tree. I felt like a child in elementary school sat on the carpet listening to storytime. 

“Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from - the Quileutes, I mean?” He began.

Shit.

“Uhm. Some? Not really sorry.” I admitted.

“I’ve picked up bits and pieces,” said Mike, also admitting to ignorance. 

“Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood - supposedly the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive.” He smiled at us, clearly trying to show how little stock he put in the histories but also revealing a deep connection to his shared past - no matter how much he claimed to disbelieve it. 

“Another legend claims that a man, The Changer, turned us from wolves into men. To this day, wolves remain a crucial part of our culture and it goes against tribal law to kill one.” He paused and looked at us as we took it in.

“Then there are the other stories. The newer ones. Stories about the Cold Ones”

“They wouldn't be cracking open any boys would they? Crackin’ open a boy with the Cold Ones?”

This time I did thump Mike. He nearly fell off the tree. Jacob rolled his eyes. Good to see he was getting into the spirit of the WOEIEC society. 

“I mean. Sort of yeah. See there are tribal rumours of the Cold Ones spanning back years but there's a much more solid legend that ties back to my great-grandfather. It’s told that he is the one who made The Treaty.” He shook his head slightly as if in disbelief. 

“Your great-grandfather?” I asked, leaning forwards. So far, this was all looking very promising for my number one Edwardno Theory. 

“Yeah, see the Cold Ones are sort of a bad deal right? They endangered the tribe and the people around so we fought them when we encountered them. But apparently during my great-grandfather's time they encountered a pack that was different. Legend has it that they did not hunt the way that others of their kind did and they posed less of a threat. So a deal was struck. If they stayed off our lands, we wouldn’t expose them.”

“If they weren’t dangerous then why…” Why were they still banned several hundred years later? Why had they been banned in the first place if they weren’t a threat?

“Because as with all things, they still carried a risk. It is always risky for humans to be around the Cold Ones. Even if they’re civilised like that clan was.”

“Ok back up. Define civilised”

“They claimed they didn’t hunt humans.” Mike made a disgusted noise next to me which Jacob gamely ignored and continued on. “Supposedly, they were somehow able to prey on animals instead.”

“If you want to get pedantic-”

“-which you always do-”

“-technically, humans are animals too”

“Yes very good Mike. Jacob, how does this tie into the Cullens? Are they related to the Cold Ones your great-grandfather met or are they just like them?” I hedge my bets with the question, not wanting to bring notions of immortality into it. I didn’t want to ask a leading question. I needed to know. 

“No.” He paused dramatically. I sent a quick prayer that he would say what I wanted him to say. “They are the same ones.”

JACKPOT BABY. I knew it. My glee started to shine through. Jacob glanced at me before continuing on slightly slower.

“I- I mean, there are more of them now. A new female and a new male. But- but the rest are the same. Even in my Great-grandfathers times, they already knew of the leader. Carlisle. He’s been around since forever apparently. He’d been and gone before your people even arrived.” 

I grinned savagely. “Vampires.”

“Ohmygod” said Mike, sitting up straighter. “Vampires.”

Jacob looked warily between the two of us. “What did I miss?”

“A defining moment in the WOEIEC logbook.”

“He’s a vampire.”

“It explains so much”

“Ok you two need to slow down. What? They’re just legends! I thought you were going to think we were just a bunch of superstitious natives”

“Oh Jacob, let me tell you about Mr Culinary and the reasons for the What On Earth Is Edward Cullen society.”

Slowly, with many interjections from Mike that were a mix of helpful and… not that, I explained to Jacob everything strange about the youngest Cullen boy. By the time we finished he was looking fairly poleaxed. 

“Huh. Wild. Maybe, there was some truth in those legends after all”

“Yup” said Mike, jumping up and slapping Jacob on the arm. “You are definitely a member of the WOEIEC club dude. Welcome aboard”

“Thanks…?” Jacob said uncertainly watching as Mike stretched out his limbs and then started off towards the fire with a jaunty wave over his shoulder.

“Say Jake,” I said, as we began to follow him back across the beach. “Given all that, what does your dad think about the massive fuckin’ crush my dad is nursing for the sexy blood-drinking doctor?”

He did a double take so fast I was worried he’d get whiplash. If he’s been drinking I bet it would’ve been a good contender for world's greatest spit take.

“Ch- ChaRLIE??”

“Mhmm. Though its all just me interpreting at this point. I’d even go so far as to say Dr Carlisle Caring Cullen is pretty far gone too but who’s to say really”

“Ca- Isn’t he married??”

“Yup.”

I watched his eyes twirl in their sockets for a bit. “Huh. Well, I guess that would explain a few things…”   
  
“Ooooo like what?” I asked, desperate for dirt on dear old dad.

“Like how Charlie went ballistic when he heard that some of us stopped going to the hospital when Dr Cullen started working there. Explains the first name basis too…”

“Ah yes, that’s probably in part because apparently he dines at their house sometimes”

“But-”

I patted him on the shoulder consolingly as we reached the bonfire, “I know.”

We stopped once we rejoined the circle and took in the general packing-up that was going on. I noticed that Jess and Angela were back from the shops and Eric and the others looked fairly exhausted from whatever high energy game they’d been up to. 

“Are we off then?” I asked.

“Yep” confirmed Jess, “It looks like it’s going to rain soon so, we figured better safe than sorry.”

I glanced up at the glowering sky. She was not wrong. I crossed over quickly to help with the packing. 

“Okay, I’m definitely coming,” there was far too much good natured chuckling and then I heard Mike take a breath. “Don’t even think about it Newton.” 

He breathed back out. 

“It was nice to see you Bella.” Jacob said, and I was surprised to see he was sincere. Oh I was definitely adopting this boy. 

“It really was. Next time our dad’’s decide to hang out I’ll tag along” I promised. 

“That’s be cool”

“Oh! And thanks for the info,” I winked at him. “I’ll be submitting your application for honorary member of the IQCFFH to the board soon”

“The what now?” he asked, looking yet again blindsided. I loved not explaining myself to people. 

“Don’t worry about it” I said, pulling my hood up and turning to leave. 

  
  


As we tramped across the rocks back towards the parking lot a few drops began to fall, marking black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got to the Suburban, we loaded the stuff into the back as quickly as possible before dogpiling back into the car. We were all fairly exhausted from the day out so the ride back was surprisingly quiet for our little gaggle of gays.

I lay my head against the window and stared into the rain, letting my thoughts swirl as I pondered on everything I’d learned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Yes Jacob is trans now. No I am not sorry. Yes I cut a bajillion characters from the beach scene. No im not sorry for that either. Yes the dads are off being useless and pining over lunch at the Cullens whilst this is happening. Yes I made up the word Newtonian. Its just because his surnames Newton. Hes loud and all. Also I did also make Jacob older I'm not sorry it was weird he was barely 15, 16 is much more respectable. 
> 
> As always here are some chat highlights:
> 
> I AM DOING MORE WORK FOR THIS STUPID GAY TWILIGHT FIC THAN I EVER WANTED TO
> 
> someone remind me to write a kick ass authors note at the end of all this good god
> 
> christ we're already really starting to divert from any semblance of canonical dialogue  
guess the plots gunna start veering too soon  
bugger
> 
> im making her the peak lesbian experience
> 
> fuckin goodbye lauren  
whoever the fuck you are
> 
> WHY IS TYLER HERE  
I DONT WANT TYLER TO BE HERE  
FUCK
> 
> ??????????????????????/  
LAUREN??? AND 3 OTHER GIRLS  
WHAT  
WHO ARE THEY  
NO  
I BAN THEM  
THIS IS A GAYS ONLY OUTING
> 
> twilight has 25 chapters  
i am on 6  
i am 1/5 of the way through  
this is going to so long im so full of regret
> 
> i do my best  
one beach review at a time  
i hate turning my brain cell on
> 
> me: *complaining to nox about how much research ive had to do for this chapter*  
nox: i think,, i think you have to take crack out the tags now,, i dont think its crack anymore
> 
> In the cullen household, this vision [bella falling into a tidepool to spite edward] flashes through alices head and she snorts with laughter  
edward reads her mind and is immediately torn between amusement and frowning  
the frowning wins
> 
> me, every other chapter: time to make fun of the original book!
> 
> "respect ur elders jacob"  
"bella you literally have one year one me. two at a push if we time it right"
> 
> bella is a fucking steamroller of a human being in this fic i s2g
> 
> Thats all folks. I did too much research and not all of it shows but anyway here's that donation link again: https://mthg.org/

**Author's Note:**

> Bella, every paragraph: AND ALSO IM A LESBIAN
> 
> Well. That's chapter one. If it gets enough attention I will definitely write more. I may end up doing that anyway. Yes the dads are gunna be gay that's the entire reason I started this


End file.
